Solar Midnight
by LaRosada
Summary: In the moment that Edward resisted the devastating allure of Bella's scent, the epic central relationship in the Twilight saga was born. But when Edward's strength wavers at precisely the wrong moment, everything, including Bella, is changed.
1. Last Breath

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Last Breath**

"_Not a full second had passed. She was still taking the same step that had put her downwind from me. _

_As her foot touched the ground, her eyes slid toward me, a movement she clearly meant to be stealthy. Her glance met mine, and I saw myself reflected in the wide mirror of her eyes."_

– _Midnight Sun_

**EPOV**

The shock of the face I saw there could have saved her life for a few thorny moments, were my brain not quick enough to process the unfortunate phenomenon that occurred next.

For a split second, every mind in the room that had previously been fixated on Bella was preoccupied. My brain worked fast, deciding at which angle to snatch her, which second to slip outside the door, and where to hide with her before that split second was up. No one saw me move. No one saw her vanish. When her classmates looked for her again they would assume she had forgotten a book or that perhaps she hadn't been in the right classroom to begin with. They didn't pay enough attention to me to care that I was missing. I was absent rather frequently.

Still, my execution had been sloppy and poorly planned. Had I taken the other fraction of the second to consider my actions I would have realized that the other side of the Biology door was not a hiding place. Thankfully, there were no other students in the hallway, so there would be no one to attest to my yanking Bella with me into a nearby janitorial closet with incredible speed. Not even Bella. The girl looked – without really seeing – in my direction, before wobbling and nearly falling over. She stuck out her left arm and planted her open palm on the wall for support.

The burn in my throat beckoned me forward to complete the deed. Yet, I waited. The silence of her mind made me stop. I realized that I had hoped I would be able to hear her once she was here. She had to be frightened now. Her mind had to be working frantically. But there was nothing. She was breathing heavily as her eyes darted to different corners of the closet. She closed her eyes tightly, then opened them again, squinting hard. It was dark here for her, I imagined.

What was I doing? Immediately I hated myself for questioning what I was about to do _now, _rather than having the strength to stop myself back in the classroom. The thought of the classroom reminded me of how deadly I had looked reflected in her eyes. I looked like the killer that I was about to become. The thought helped to delay my progress for a few seconds more. Would I really do this? I sighed heavily. She straightened her stance abruptly now, searching for the other person in the closet. Her heart rate accelerated. I could smell the adrenaline in her blood. She was afraid.

The idea upset me, but why shouldn't she be? To her, it would have seemed that she'd either materialized in the closet or perhaps fainted and been moved here. Either scenario could not have been doing much to keep her calm. She squinted again. Her eyes searched for me, and though they passed me several times, didn't seem to find me. My vision was unaffected by the dark, however, and I focused hard on her very human reactions to remind myself of all the reasons that I shouldn't kill this creature that was so much weaker than me. I held my breath the whole time.

I thought of Carlisle. Of how he would put a hand on my shoulder and tell me that it was alright, that we all slipped (though he never had), and that my family would understand that we had to move on. I dreaded this conversation with him. I wanted to be worthy of the respect that he regarded me with.

I took a step back from her, toward the closet door. A plan was formulating in my head. I could exit the closet without her noticing, then pretend to stumble upon her and call the closest teacher to her rescue. I could suck in a quick breath of air – untainted by her scent – when I was out in the hallway. I would have just enough air to say… whatever I needed to say to draw an audience. When they were on their way to her I would run home.

Yes. I had to resist. This was the right thing to do. I did not want to take her life. I had never killed a true innocent before, and she – still looking quite faint and wobbly – was much more vulnerable than the average human. Even if I never slipped again, not in my entire existence, her death would linger on my conscience unless or until I finally died. I briefly wondered why Alice hadn't yet arrived with help from my brothers to restrain me, when until a few moments ago, I had resolved to drink Bella's heavenly smelling blood. I could imagine the taste, and I could have all of it. Slowly. In the privacy of this small room, where I wouldn't be interrupted. Where I could savor…

_Stop. _I physically struggled to keep myself from lunging at her, now. This time I was the one holding onto the closet walls for support. I was not silent. Bella's head jerked in my direction, then to different corners of the closet when her human eyes found nothing. The movement made her thick, mahogany hair fall behind her shoulder, revealing the smooth, ivory skin of her neck.

I growled. I felt the monster in me rising to the surface. Had she done just one thing differently in response to the feral sound, it could have saved her life. Instead, she just stood there. Her neck lovely and exposed, breathing hard and fast. I could see the blood pulsing under her paper thin skin. The fear was bringing more and more color to her cheeks, turning them a delicious shade of crimson. Had she chosen to curl in on herself and cower in a corner, I would not have had the opportunity to see this. I willed her to move, to do something, anything, to remind me that she was a person. An innocent person whose precious life I was about to end. Who had friends and family who would miss and mourn her. That she wasn't merely a meal.

I tried to control the monster within. I fought him as he begged me to strike. He negotiated with me – I could snap her neck before she even knew what was coming. She would see nothing. Feel nothing. No sound would escape her lips to alert anyone to us. She wouldn't suffer, and I could drink her slowly while her blood was still warm.

I growled again, this time in response to myself, to the private war I was having – not at her. But the sound made her stagger back in fear, and swallow hard, bringing my attention back to the last place it needed to be. Her throat. My body inhaled without my permission, and I was hit by the unbearable force of her scent, now heightened by her fear, in the last breath I took before it happened.

I lost control. I flashed to her side, cradling her in my arms. My plan had been to kill her quickly. But at this proximity and with no self control left to facilitate my actions, my plans had changed. A part of me hated myself for what I was about to do and knew that I had it within my power to, at the very least, ensure that she would not suffer. I could not be that cruel to her. That part of me, however, was deeply buried beneath the now driving force that was my thirst.

It almost felt as if it wasn't really me that was standing here, holding her, as she curiously laid in my arms without a struggle. Though I fought to gain control over my instincts, I could not bridge the gap between my mind and body. My instincts were forcing my hand.

Without my permission, my hands gently guided Bella's throat closer to my face. Now that I was so close to having what I wanted, there didn't seem to be a hurry, and I took my time running my nose from her ear to her collarbone, admiring the bouquet of the sweetest wine imaginable. Which I was soon to taste.

Only now did I hear my family's thoughts. Alice had seen my latest decision and was bringing Emmett and Jasper to stop me.

That changed things. They were far enough that they couldn't stop me, but close enough that I wouldn't be able to savor her blood the way I had planned. Unless…_ yes_. I watched through their minds as a group of children that had been ditching class split up to avoid discovery. They wandered the halls independently, hoping to look inconspicuous and sneak out. One of them had already made it out the door and to the parking lot, where he unlocked the door to his '87 Honda Accord and ducked in his front seat, waiting for the others. I thanked them in my head as I watched the scene. They had hindered my siblings in their pursuit to stop me, forcing them to move at human speed to avoid causing a scene; a greater scene than Bella's body being discovered in this very closet undoubtedly would. The callous thought should have stopped me in my tracks but my instincts were too in control of me now. Instead, I was focused on one fact alone. Neither Alice, Emmett, nor Jasper had class in this building. By the time any of them arrived, it would be over.

There was time to spare. I directed my attention back to Bella. For some strange reason I felt compelled to pull back from her neck and observe her face on last time before it became forever expressionless. Perhaps to try and figure out why she wasn't putting up a fight. I had been especially gentle with her for some reason. Still, not gentle enough for her not to realize that she was being held. To my horror, when my eyes found hers they were staring back at me. Her human eyes had finally adjusted to the darkness, and she was fully aware, not just that _someone _was ominously hovering over her, but that that someone was _me. _

"Edward," she whispered. The sound of my name on her lips stunned me into stillness. Her voice stopped me from starting the movement that had almost taken place – the decent of my lips back to the hollow of her neck, to finally claim her blood. Her blood, that smelled as though it had been created just for me. I looked into her eyes, searching for something. For what, I didn't know. It's just… the way she had spoken my name. It didn't sound as though she were surprised that I was the one keeping her hostage. It sounded like she was confirming a suspicion that she'd had all along. And the way she was looking at me now. She looked as though… as though she didn't mind?

If only I could hear her mind. I stared at her now in a new way, probing at the empty space where I should have found her thoughts. It couldn't have been the case that there was nothing for me to find. Rather, being inadequate for some reason when it came to hearing her mind, I was finding nothing.

"Edward?" Her whisper was a question now. Perhaps she was confused as to why I hadn't answered her the first time. Or perhaps she was confirming that this was my name, as she had only just learned it today.

"Bella." I addressed her matter of factly, as though we were passing each other on the street and I was casually acknowledging her presence.

"What…" she started, but I couldn't allow her to finish her question. It could have been a variety of questions. _What's happened? What's going on? What are you doing? _Also, there was a variety of reasons why I could not let her ask, no matter which one she would have chosen. The monster in me was afraid that if she actually spoke the words, it would enable the better part of me to regain control, and he would not be able to have her. The other part of me feared that even if I fought, I would lose the battle for my control to the monster, and now, having allowed her to experience so much, her end would be that much more cruel. On the same page for the very first time since I smelled her, both sides made me move my finger to place it gently to her lips.

"Shhhhh." Her eyes grew wide. The heat on my finger stung. I realized, then, that I had touched her skin for the first time, and pulled my finger away from her mouth. I expected her to flinch away from my touch, but instead she brought her lips closer, placing them back against my finger. At first I thought she was trying to kiss me. The pieces of the puzzle that was Bella began to click silently into place with this action. Perhaps she fancied me. Perhaps during the lunch hour, she had decided that she cared for me, the way the many boys in her class had decided they cared for her. Was that why she didn't mind me having her here? In a closet, the two of us alone, with my mouth so inappropriately close to her skin?

"Are you alright?" she asked, softly. The shock of the question must have been evident on my face. I was wrong. She hadn't been trying to kiss me. She was testing my temperature with her lips. I wanted to tell her to close her eyes and not worry about me. I wanted to tell her anything that would end this devastating conversation so that I could do this without feeling worse than what I already knew I would. But I couldn't respond. I was out of air. "You're cold."

No. I couldn't do this. Not to Carlisle, not to my family, but most certainly not to her. She was too good, too pure. I didn't know her well, almost not at all, and yet _that _I knew. Here I was, crouched over her in a position that some might assume romantic but in what was purely a predator's position, contemplating killing her for the longest of moments, and she was concerned for _my_ health.

She was selfless. So much so that she didn't even realize the danger she was in.

I was resolved. I would leave her alone. I would not kill her. I would not have her. I started to release her from my arms. I ignored the aching dryness in my throat and forced my face away from hers. I couldn't breathe, I was too close now. If in inhaled, she would never survive it.

But then something terrible happened. She began to sit up in my arms. She pressed her blazing palm to my forehead, then turned her hand over, testing again.

"You're too cold," she told me. "Maybe hypothermic." Her voice was stronger now. Her concern for my well being was overcoming her fear of her predicament. Perhaps she didn't realize I had brought her here, then. Perhaps she supposed we'd been taken together. "We need to get to the nurse." Her _S_ blew her breath into my face, and even though I wasn't breathing it in, I could smell her. My body tensed. I clamped down on the inside of my mouth with my teeth. _No._

She noticed my struggle. She was even more concerned now. She could see that I was in pain. She just didn't understand that her death would end my pain. That if she wanted to help me, to help us both, she should be running as far from me as she could rather than frantically clutching me closer.

"What is it? What's wrong? Edward!" Her voice was raised now, panicked.

But that was not why I inhaled.

_Edward, we're almost there. Hang on. _Alice had meant well. She hadn't seen – or perhaps she had, but not in time – what would happen if she surprised me. Their thoughts had been no more than a hum for so long, their only focus to reach me. But her direct address to me was a shock and, before I could stop myself, I gasped. And Bella's breath rushed into my nostrils and down my throat with a blinding _whoosh._

It was over.

So fast that to her it must have looked like I simply disappeared from her sight, I plunged toward her throat and wrapped my lips around her. My teeth pierced the delicate skin of her neck with a gentle tearing sound. She opened her mouth to scream, but without thinking about it, I clamped my hand over her mouth, stifling the sound. She bit down on my hand, as though trying to fight me off. I barely felt the pressure of the bite, but apparently she had. She whimpered and immediately stopped forcing her teeth on me.

I stopped hearing her, then, as I lost myself in her taste, slowly satiating my thirst as I pulled the blood from her neck. She tasted even better than I imagined that she would. It was the sweetest thing I had ever experienced. I knew with a certainty that as long as I lived, I would never come across anything like her again. I swallowed deeply, allowing the rich taste to coat my throat, cooling the burn, and hoping my siblings would be delayed long enough for me to drink my fill.

No such luck. I heard the approaching sprints, yet could not bring myself to pull the blood any faster from her neck. Though a part of me knew I would not be allowed to finish her anyway, another part could not bear to have her blood wasted or taken in haste.

I had not stolen enough blood from her neck for my eyes to glow red when I was grabbed by my own neck and violently flung out into the hallway. Jasper had been waiting there for me, afraid that his proximity to Bella paired with my desire for her blood, which he would feel in close proximity to me, would kill any chance she had left for survival. Once he got his arms around me, Emmett – who had been the one to throw me, no doubt – stood in front of me, blocking both our paths should either of us try to fight our way back to her. I felt strong waves of calm overtaking me. It was enough for my better half to push the monster under. I didn't try to fight them.

I listened closely for any sign that Bella was still alive. I hadn't taken that much blood – I hadn't bitten down very hard. I strained my over powerful ears and finally heard human sounds beneath Alice's muffled profanities. Bella's breathing was shallow, her heartbeat struggling.

"Bella? Bella!" Alice whispered to her harshly. I was gaining control now, slowly but surely, and the ramifications of what I had done were beginning to weigh on me. But… Alice would not have to wonder whether Bella was alive and wouldn't bother speaking if she wasn't.

Bella was going to survive?

"Edward." Bella's voice was weak, but the pain in her tone was obvious. I strained my neck to see behind Emmett. Jasper nodded, confirming my control, and Emmett shifted to one side to allow me to see them. Now it was Alice who cradled Bella in her arms. Bella, however, did not submit to _her_ hold. She writhed beneath her, her hands clamped into fists. She tried clutching her neck once but the contact apparently hurt too much, so she settled for crumpling the shoulder of her shirt in her fingers.

There were sharp pangs behind my eyes that would have been tears were I able to produce them. She was in too much pain to lie still. My venom had gotten in. Bella _would_ survive, but not as a human.

In a very real way, I _had_ killed her.

I squeezed my eyes shut as a dry sob escaped my lips.

"Shhhh," Alice whispered. My head snapped up, but I quickly realized that she wasn't talking to me. "Bella, I'm Alice. I'm going to get you help, okay? Everything is going to be alright, you'll see. Just try to breathe. I know it burns."

"Burns." Bella whispered the word weakly, as though she was just trying it out. As if she hadn't found the correct word yet to describe her pain and wanted to see how it fit. "Burns," she squealed. This time her voice was sure.

"I'm taking her to Carlisle." Without looking at me, Alice scooped Bella up and sped down the hallway, too fast for human eyes to see. A second later I heard an engine start and tires squeal out of the parking lot.

I wanted nothing more than to speed after her. By the time we arrived at our home, her scent would be changing, and I would be able to resist her more easily. I would beg for Carlisle's forgiveness and understanding. Though I didn't deserve it, I knew I would beg, if only so that I would be allowed to stay. I wanted to stay with Bella for the three days that she would burn. I owed her that, as this very moment her soul was being stolen from her. The least I could do was prepare her for what she was about to become. The very best I could have done would have been to spare her from any contact with me in the first place.

But the time for that was past.

I began to look around, to make sure that my ears weren't fooled and that no one was nearby, so that I could leave. But Jasper put a hand on my shoulder.

_Edward, we have to stay. _Of course, having spoken my name in his head, he had my full attention. I took the time during his mental pause to curse my ability for the thousandth time today. Were it not for that, perhaps I would have succeeded earlier – perhaps another part of me wouldn't have. Perhaps I never would have bitten Bella.

_There is work to be done._ I didn't catch his meaning right away. He spoke out loud. "As far as anyone will know, Bella has disappeared. We need to spread a story that will explain that."

"Perhaps it would be better if we said nothing," I offered. "If we are the only ones with information about her, it could implicate our family. Especially when we leave."

"We aren't leaving." What? Jasper didn't bother speaking now, explaining quickly. _If we disappear at the same time as Bella, _then_ we will be implicated. If we don't change anything, there will be no reason for anyone to suspect us. We will mention that Bella was out in the parking lot, near the woods, before anyone notices she is gone. We'll say she looked lost or like she was going to ditch. It'll be at least until the end of the day before anyone knows she is missing. By then, the humans won't remember who told who that Bella wandered off first. No one will think of us._

I considered this. I supposed it was plausible. The girl wandered off her first day in a new school and…

What? Got lost? Kidnapped?

_The thing is, Alice wants us to set something up. So it looks like… I dunno, an animal attack or something, so that no one will expect to find a body. See… her dad's the chief of police. _Oh, Christ. _If he thinks there's hope, he'll keep looking. Alice doesn't want to do that to him._

But it wouldn't be Alice that had done it to him, no matter what we chose to do. It would have been me. It was all me.

"Edward?" I didn't respond, and Emmett placed a heavy hand on my shoulder. Even though I knew better, and I knew they were doing it only to offer support, if anyone were to walk past it would appear that my brothers were restraining me. I thought again – were they? And if they were, could I really blame them? Wasn't it what I deserved? "Hey, it happens, okay? At least you didn't – " I flinched away from his hand. _At least you didn't kill her,_ he'd been thinking. But I had killed her. And not just her, it seemed. She had close family. I couldn't imagine how this wouldn't kill them, too.

I turned away from them both, heading to Spanish class. I began practicing the lines that I would have to act out for the remainder of the day. I started to think of an alibi for why I was missing from Biology when there was a vibration in my pocket.

I quickly pulled out my phone. _Carlisle. _

Ashamed, I wanted to ignore the call. But I had been enough of a coward for one day, so I opened the phone, pressed the _send_ button and answered.

"Carlisle."

His words came out in a rush.

"Quickly, get to the main office with your brothers. When I hang up with you, I'm going to call claiming a family emergency, excusing you three, and Alice. Then get here as fast as you can."

His tone was not what I had expected. I had expected… I wasn't sure what I had expected. But this wasn't it. He sounded anxious and… excited?

"What's happening?"

"I'm not sure. She's changing fast. Too fast. She isn't complaining about the pain, but I think she's hurting because she stopped trying to talk. Before that, though, she was asking for you." For me? I stole access to everyone else's thoughts, I may as well share my own.

"For _me?_"

"Come home, Edward. And no stories about her, yet. If we need to, we will supply a alibi. But not yet."

"Carlisle…"

"Trust me. I have a feeling…" he trailed off. "I'll see you at home."

The call disconnected. Jasper and Emmett had both heard the entire conversation and were now at my sides, headed with me to the main office. As we walked outside and toward our destination, I caught sight of Mike Newton. His thoughts were still fixated on Bella. He hadn't seen her after Biology, and he had been hoping to find her and walk her to her next class. The possessive edge to his thoughts had irritated me before, but not now. A part of me was smug, knowing that he would never have her – I had gotten to her first.

Shocked by my own thoughts, I shook my head in disgust and focused on getting to the main office. Before we reached the doors, the phone rang and I heard the woman at the front desk's cheery tone, _"Why, hello, Dr. Cullen. What can I do for you today?"_


	2. Last Sight

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Last Sight**

**BPOV**

I felt anxious as I proceeded down the aisle to give Mr. Banner my slip to sign. I was aware of the only open seat in the room, that when I was finished, I would end up sitting in that seat next to Edward Cullen, who I immediately recognized by his unusual hair. Almost unwillingly, my eyes slid toward him as I passed what would be our lab table. Just then, he went rigid in his seat and met my eyes with an expression that literally stopped my breath.

It was a look of pure hatred. For a moment I couldn't look away from his black eyes, and the blood raced furiously up my neck and into my cheeks the minute I did. The shock of his hostile expression had sent my heart racing. I felt flustered and suddenly a bit hostile myself. I was fairly certain that my first day would be hard, but I never imagined this. What had I done to cause him to hate me so immediately? I hadn't said a word to him. Sure, I had asked about him at lunch, but other than that, nothing.

Yet, now that I thought about it, even in the cafeteria he had looked at me strangely. There had been a definite curiosity in his expression, and just a hint of disappointment. As if, in only the brief glance he'd managed toward me, I'd already failed his expectations in some way.

I clenched my teeth together and held my slip a little higher in front of me, making my purpose clear. I would head directly to the front of the room, get it signed, and somehow get into that seat without another look at him. _Who knows, another seat might open up._

I took my first step forward after a brief pause. But my determination coupled with my self-imposed tunnel vision did nothing for my balance, and, still flustered from Edward Cullen's ice-cold stare, I felt myself beginning to trip.

_Great. Just perfect._

Tripping and falling was not new to me. It always amused me, in a darkly humorous sort of way, that my clumsy moments always seemed to happen in slow motion. Slow enough for me to realize that I was falling and become plenty embarrassed by it. Never fast enough to prevent it from happening altogether.

I stuck my arm out, ready to catch myself on the edge of the table, but instead of feeling my hand slam against the black top desk, I felt a hard pressure in my stomach that knocked the wind out of me. A chair? Another table? Something else must have been pushed out into the aisle. Maybe my encounter with Edward had caused it to escape my attention.

I had squeezed my eyes shut, reacting to the slight pain caused by the impact. I opened them now, ready to confront my obstacle. I prepared myself for the amused stares and snickers I was likely to receive.

_I didn't disappoint on my first day, did I?_

Instead, when my eyes opened, I could do nothing but watch the world spin out of focus past my face before it went dark completely.

It was black everywhere. I had no idea which way was up or down as my legs began to wobble underneath me and I began to sway. Afraid of falling in any direction, I stuck my left arm out and mercifully found a wall. I opened my palm, pinning it against the wall with all the force I could muster. I couldn't have fainted. Fainting was familiar to me. It happened quite often – whenever I got blood taken or sometimes even if I cut myself badly. Not once had I ever woken up on my feet.

But what were the alternatives? _Were _there any alternatives? One moment I had been in Biology, making my way toward Mr. Banner. The next, I was tripping, and then…

I may have hit my head. Yes, that was it. I may have fallen and hit my head. Maybe I was still woozy and simply didn't remember waking up the first time. Maybe I had been starting to faint _again_ just a minute ago, before I caught myself.

But that didn't explain how dark things were. Where was I?Small towns were odd on some points, sure, but I was positive the nurse's treatment for a student that had fainted wouldn't be to put them into solitary confinement.

No, something was definitely wrong. I needed to get out of…wherever I was. If I could just get to a place where I could see my surroundings and the face of just one other person, maybe I could get some help; some answers. I tried to steady myself, ready to feel my way around and find a door.

Just then there was a noise. I froze. It wasn't loud, but my ears seemed hypersensitive right now since I couldn't see. Before that noise, my panicked breaths had been the only sound here. But the new noise had caused me to panic because I was somehow able to tell that the quiet whisper of a sound, which had sounded like an exhale, was not soft because I was hearing something that was happening far away. Somehow I knew that I was actually hearing a very soft sound that had occurred only a few feet in front of me.

I looked around, though it was pointless. I could see absolutely nothing but darkness. If there had been something waiting just inches from my face, I wouldn't have known the difference. I considered sticking my arms out in front of me to check, just in case, but decided against it. Instead, I stayed absolutely still, waiting for the noise to come again. There was nothing.

I struggled to calm myself. Perhaps I had imagined it. I had just fainted, after all; I was still out of it. I actually wasn't at all convinced that I really had fainted, but I would stick with that story until I found one that made more sense. It was possible that I had been startled by the sound of my _own_ exhale. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to make the pieces all fit. Again, I wasn't convinced by my own rationalization. I kept my breaths quiet in case the sound returned.

Okay, now I felt stupid. What if I _had _imagined the sound after all? Now I had scared myself into standing absolutely still and trying not to breath, when what I _needed_ to do was get back to my original mission. To feel my way out of here and get some help. Someone from Biology must have seen what happened – there had to be someone to tell me. Especially the way everyone had been staring at me today. Surely there was at least one person who noticed my fall. There had to be someone who –

_Thump._

What was that?!

Something was here. Something _had_ exhaled just moments ago, and that same something had hit the wall just now – hard. I heard the initial smack against the wall, and even a few smaller sounds after the hit. Some cracking, as though whatever had landed on the wall had caused actual _structural _damage. I wanted to run. To get as far back into this black space as I possibly could, away from the thing. Or to run forward, hoping to miss it by inches and magically fall through a door to somewhere safe. But I was too scared to do any of those things, to do anything but stand here. So instead, my eyes strained hard, my sight trying desperately to recover in order to decipher the contents of the blackness.

As if on command, my sight began to adjust and things began to take shape. I thought I was staring straight ahead, but had actually been looking slightly up. The top corner of a tiny room began to come into focus. I could vaguely make out an exposed light bulb in the center of the ceiling with a cord hanging from it. We had a set up just like this one in my closet back home in Phoenix.

I was in a closet?

My thoughts were interrupted by a terrifying sound. A growl – that was the only way to describe it. A sound that was angry, hungry, and obviously not human. My head whipped toward the direction that the noise seemed to be coming from, but I was too late. When the sound came again, my eyes landed only briefly on the shiny, silver doorknob that would have symbolized my escape if I hadn't already fallen backward and landed onto something cold and hard. At first I couldn't tell if I had been pushed or pulled, or where I had even landed. After a few moments, though, it was clear that I was being held.

There weren't the normal signs. I didn't feel a pulse beating uncomfortably into any part of my body, and I didn't hear or feel anyone's breath. But I could _smell_ something. Something clean, sweet, and close. If I peeked out of the corner of my eye, I could make out the shape of a person who was currently hiding their face from me. Judging by the length of their hair, I assumed that person was a male.

The fear of this discovery made my heart stutter. My mouth went dry. The pieces of my predicament were coming together now, and taking the last shape I would have hoped for. One that was dark, terrifying, and at this point, one that it would be almost impossible for me to escape from. A man had brought me into a dark closet while I was unconscious and was now holding me in his arms. _That made more sense than fainting. Maybe he'd held something over my face? _He – whoever he was – wasn't holding onto me very tightly, though. At least, it didn't feel like he was. I suppose I would know for sure the moment I actually tried to get away.

I could trick him. I could make him think I wasn't resisting. Maybe even that I was still unconscious. Then, when he wasn't paying attention, I could run.

Except… well… could I run? It was true, there wasn't all that much area to cover right now between myself and the door. Still, I tended to stumble, trip, and even fall down while running (and walking, if I was honest). Just one mistake would be enough. He would stop me from getting to the door and make sure that I wouldn't – or even physically _couldn't_ – try to escape again. I only had one shot.

Knowing me, I would blow it.

Maybe hoping to succeed in running away was being unrealistic. I didn't need to escape necessarily. All I needed was to bring someone's attention to us. I needed to be found. I could do that. My breaths were coming quick and shallow now. I tried to work on slowing them down. I focused on bringing the air all the way into my lungs so that, when the time was right, I could build up a nice, loud scream.

Yes, that might work. A scream. And just to make sure he didn't force his hand over my mouth or stuff some germ infested piece of fabric into it, I would find a way to disable him temporarily just before I did it. I had no hope of knocking him out; I wasn't naïve enough not to realize that. But I didn't need him unconscious. I just needed him distracted. Just long enough for me to let out my scream and attempt to make it to the door. Maybe a well placed kick…

He moved. Crap. I may not have had much time before he tied me up or something. I had to think quickly.

Could I kick him from this position? _No, _I realized.

My feet were on the floor, but only because they were sort of hanging. He was holding my weight up. His body was closer to my torso; I couldn't reach him from here with my legs. I would have to hit him with my arms, which were much weaker. That wasn't shifting the odds in my favor. I hadn't taken any self defense, but I remembered a few things from reading self defense articles and watching specials on TV. Women were usually advised to use their legs, especially against male attackers, because their legs were always going to be stronger than their arms. And I wasn't exactly lifting weights or water bottles every day – my amateur punches would probably have little to no affect on my opponent.

_Unless… maybe if I hit him in the face…_

Yes, that's what I would do – I would hit him in the nose. If I did it right, I could break it. How was it that people did it on TV? I would use my palm and thrust upward…

That was the thought I had just before my mysterious attacker – at least I thought he was an attacker – pulled back to look at me with the most curious expression on his face. And I came to realize that my attacker was none other than Edward Cullen. For a reason unbeknownst to me, I was overcome with a sudden wave of relief.

"Edward?" I couldn't help whispering.

"Bella." His answer was so calm that it almost made me forget what was happening here. He seemed so relaxed. Maybe he knew what was going on then? For some reason, I couldn't make myself be afraid of him. I couldn't make myself believe that he had brought me into some terrible circumstance. Instead, my brain made me believe that either we had been brought into it together, or I alone, and that he had been the one to find me. That would be the story until he refuted it.

"What…" _What's going on?_ I had started to ask. But Edward's expression suddenly shifted, his face twisting in pain, as he gently placed his index finger to my lips and silenced me with a whisper.

"Shhhhh." Abruptly, he pulled his finger away from my lips, his expression panicked now as he searched my face for something. Only then did it occur to me that his finger had felt like ice. Not just cold, but _literally_ like ice, as though warm blood simply wasn't running through his body. Anxious now, I strained my neck to get my lips back to his finger. Touching him again, I was able to confirm just how cold his finger was. I wasn't a doctor, but in his case I didn't have to be. Anyone with the slightest bit of common sense would have realized upon touching him that something was seriously wrong.

"Are you alright?" I demanded, gazing back into his eyes to find his expression horrified. Was he in pain? "You're cold." I expected something, anything, to come out of his mouth. I didn't expect any trouble from him; any hostility. He'd answered me before. There had even been a slight… I don't know… a warmth to the way that he'd addressed me. If not for our current predicament I would have been intrigued by it.

Instead, all I felt was panic as my question continued to go unanswered. "You're too cold. Maybe hypothermic," I explained, hoping for a reaction. "We need to get you to the nurse."

He didn't speak. He _was_ reacting now, though. His face was twisting into the most painful expressions. It appeared as though he was forcing his teeth down into the inside of his cheek. God, was it _that _painful for him?

And then I had a terrifying thought. What if he wasn't just _not_ answering me? What if he wasn't speaking anymore because he literally _couldn't_?

That thought did it for me. "What is it? What's wrong, Edward!" I was tempted to slap him lightly across the face, but decided against it, afraid that it would cause him even more pain. Again, he didn't respond to my inquiries. I didn't know how, but I was going to have to get him out of here. He was much taller than me, and that would probably make him heavy, but I would drag him out of this closet if I had to. He needed help. How long could a person actually be hypothermic before they…

_No. Don't even think it._

Edward wasn't going to… well… the word that I wasn't allowing myself to think. Edward wasn't going to do that. I was going to get him out of here.

I reached up, intending to wrap my arm around his neck and get to my feet, bringing our bodies even closer together than they had become in my desperate attempts to get him talking.

But I never did get my arm around his neck. I never did get closer to him, and I never did get to my feet. Because at the precise moment that I thought of lifting my arm, probably before my brain could even send the message to my dormant limb, probably just as the signal was jumping the synapse, my brain registered something that not only made my original plan pointless, but something that made absolutely no sense.

Edward was gone. Edward had vanished from my sight. _Wait. _But something was still holding me up. Something was preventing me from crashing to the ground in a position that would no doubt result in a bruised – at best; broken at worst – tailbone.

I thought of turning my head, but before I could perform the action, the sharpest pain pierced my neck, sending flashes of white across my field of vision.

Pain was everywhere. My eyes searched for something to hold onto. Something that would, at the very least, help to justify the pain that I was in. The piercing sting I had felt on my neck was quickly turning to fire. It wasn't becoming dull or gently throbbing into the background. It was growing hotter and hotter. More and more persistent. It was even possibly spreading, so that a larger area hurt. I reached toward it, not sure what I would feel when my fingers reached the fire. Did I still _have_ a neck to touch? Was there anything left? I made contact, but my fingers couldn't decipher what was underneath them before I ripped them away from my wound. It hurt too much to touch. I grabbed something else into a fist and tried, without success, to think around the pain. I willed my eyes to work.

"Bella? Bella!" The voice was only a whisper for me. I could tell that it should have been loud and clear, but I could barely grasp it. I couldn't focus on it. The pain was so loud – I couldn't hear much over it. Still, something yanked at me besides the pain.

_Edward. _Was that Edward who was calling my name? I tried to respond. I wasn't sure whether I was successful. My grip on reality was slipping, and though I desperately wanted to understand what was happening, a part of me began to realize that my senses were beginning to fade away with reality, and desperately wanted the pain to end.

_Okay, _I thought. I would let the pain take me under. If I could only have one last look. I wanted to know what was going on. If nothing else, when I woke up later, I want to know what had happened to me.

I forced my eyes open – I hadn't even realized that they had been closed before – and finally found what I had been looking for. His angel's face was upside down. Or maybe I was – I couldn't be sure. He wasn't looking me in the eye, perhaps because he wasn't aware that I was able to look back. There was a look of pure agony engraved on his face. I wouldn't have guessed that I was able to feel anything at all besides the burning, but I was overcome with a sharp and very urgent desire – a desire to make his pain go away.

He furrowed his brow and muttered something that appeared to be my name. And that was it – that was the last thing I saw before my world went black.

I realized that I was awake when the pain returned. My eyes were closed, but the pain in my body hurt too much for me to try to open them. My neck was on fire, but the fire had spread to my entire neck, my upper chest and to my face. When I realized that writhing and screaming would do me no good, I tried to stay perfectly still and calm – to think around the pain. My lower torso and limbs didn't hurt, and I focused on the cool feeling of relief I had there. Still, I wasn't stupid. It had long ago become clear that the burning would continue to spread. There was only so much time left before all of me was on fire.

I savored the cool feeling in my lower body while it lasted. It was incredible – in this sort of pain, I really shouldn't have been able to think of anything but how much it hurt. Yet for a fleeting second, the cool feeling made me think of Edward. What had happened to him? Had he ever gotten help?

I hoped so.

Breathing began to feel different. It seemed that my body was starting to go numb where the fire had yet to reach, and the numbness made it to my chest before the fire. It was strange to not be able to fully recognize the rise and fall of my own chest. The fire was working its way down and breathing became harder and harder. I had to concentrate hard on inhaling and exhaling – otherwise it didn't feel like I was doing it. What would happen if I stopped concentrating? Would I stop breathing?

I wanted to put a hand on my chest to reassure myself. Only now was I fully aware of the affect that the numbness had taken. My control over the rest of my body was gone. I couldn't move my limbs, and the reality that they even existed felt fuzzier and fuzzier with every passing second. Now, where there wasn't intense and nearly unbearable pain, there was nothing. The cool feeling that I had been clinging to was gone, and I was forced to focus on the horrific sensation that my entire being was ablaze.

I whimpered. My cheek felt cooler suddenly. Not better, as though the burn had stopped, but just slightly cooler, as though something extremely cold had been placed against my cheek to balance out the heat a bit. I whimpered again, louder this time, but tried to move my face toward the cooler side to send a message. Maybe I was in a hospital by now. Maybe Edward had gotten help and the nurses were giving me painkillers or… I don't know, putting ice cubes all over my body. Thankfully, the other side of my face got a little cooler. Whoever was watching over me, they had gotten the message.

Still, the cool relief wasn't reaching my entire body, and little by little I was rediscovering the rest of my body, as it all began to burn. I felt my teeth grind into my lower lip – surprised that there was anything left to chew on in the first place – as another whimper escaped. The pain was getting worse, and despite the help from the nurses (or maybe Charlie?), I just couldn't see myself making it through once the pain had reached its peak.

Suddenly, as though the realization that I might not be able to endure this had caused my body to stop fighting, I began to slip abruptly into sleep… or something like it. It was odd – I wasn't unconscious exactly. But my mind was getting blurry. Dark and fuzzy. And reality was gradually… slipping… away…

"_Carlisle, what's happening?" His voice was fuzzy, but nevertheless familiar. Edward's face popped into my head immediately. A small voice reminded me that his may not have been the face that went with the voice. But I would pretend._

"_Her heart is sounding faster – much stronger." _I didn't take much care to listen to the other voice. I was more concerned with what had been said. Something about my heart? Oh, no. So I _was_ at the hospital, then. Something began pulling on my memory… something about… lunch… Jessica…?

Oh, right. I had asked her who they were – Edward, and his beautiful siblings. And she had told me that _Dr. _Cullen and his wife had adopted them. That might explain why Edward would be allowed in my room if something serious was wrong with me – if it was even Edward who I'd heard earlier.

He had connections.

"_No, Chief Swan. Not yet. Yes, I hope so too." _Charlie! I wanted to open my mouth to speak, but the pain was still with me. It wasn't as bad… or actually… yes, it sort of was just as bad. For whatever reason, though, trying to think around the pain was actually starting to work. So the doctor was on the phone with Charlie? That was odd. Wouldn't he want to be here with me? And what was he telling him hadn't happened yet?

Maybe I should open my eyes so that he at least knew I wasn't in a coma or something.

The shock of what I saw when I opened my eyes made me close them right back. Making sure my right eye was still squeezed shut, I allowed my left to open a tiny bit, peeking up at the ceiling. Everything looked… different. Too colorful somehow, and too sharp. It was like the details of things that were usually invisible to me were popping out at me. I wanted to look longer, to stare until I figured out how to fix my vision, but my eyes burned worse when I tried, so I closed them.

I hadn't forgotten about Charlie. I had to figure out what they'd been talking about. What was wrong with me?

"Hello?" I tried. My voice was barely more than a whisper but I heard two quick sets of footsteps speed toward me. The sounds alone made me shake my head a little. It was weird that I was able to pinpoint two sets of footsteps. It was also weird that I thought I'd know the exact locations of the people who the footsteps belonged to if I were to open my eyes.

"Bella? You're up?"

"Mhmmm."

"Can you open your eyes?" That wasn't the voice I had thought to be Edward's. This voice sounded a bit older. I guessed it was the doctor.

"She was uncomfortable with them open a moment ago. I think it made the pain worse." A new voice had spoken this time. One of the nurses? Goodness, was I surrounded by people? I definitely felt embarrassed, but I didn't feel the blood rush into my face, causing my cheeks to flush.

"She's anxious about something. I think she overheard your conversation with…" his voice trailed off. They were talking about Charlie.

"Oh, dear. I see," said the doctor. Oh dear, what? What did he see?

"Do you want me to put her back under?"

"If you could? It shouldn't be much longer now. Alice, can you see how long?"

"It should be over in a few more hours. I can't see exactly when yet." I recognized the bell-like, feminine voice. A memory that I'd lost before had suddenly come back. The soft voice from the closet – she had introduced herself as Alice. So Edward _had_ gone for help! Maybe she was another nurse or something.

I felt a hazy feeling coming over me. Oh no, _that _was the talk about putting me back under. Anesthesia or something? I strained my ears to fight the anesthesia, trying to stay present. I focused on the sounds of the room, of people breathing. One set of inhales and exhales remained constant, as though the person was sitting right next to me without moving an inch.

Finally, after a few minutes, I was content that they weren't drugging me so much that I was unconscious, even if I did feel a little out of it. The burn was beginning to disappear from my fingers and toes. Maybe the medicine (or whatever they were giving me, truthfully I had no idea) was beginning to work. Or whatever was wrong with me was running its course. If I was getting better, that meant that I would be able to go home to Charlie soon. I didn't need to worry about the phone call anymore.

I stopped fighting. I let the strange, hazy feeling pull me under again. Perhaps some rest was a good idea. Especially before I had to go home and explain how I managed to trip over a flat surface and knock myself unconscious. Truthfully, I didn't know what to say to Charlie (or Renee, if he'd called her) about what had happened to me today.

I felt a soft, rhythmic brushing against my cheekbone. The soft touch reminded me of something, but I couldn't figure out what. My memories of today seemed to get fuzzier and fuzzier the more I fought to remember them.

"Rest, Bella." The soft whisper was so faint it almost escaped my ears. But I'd caught it, and I knew just who the voice belonged to. _Edward, _I thought. Or perhaps I hadn't just thought it because I swear I heard him gasp. Nevertheless, I knew that whatever was happening, he was here, beside me. It was probably stupid that the idea gave me comfort. I didn't even _know _Edward. Still, feeling the first bit of relief that I had in an immeasurable amount of time, I began to smile.

"Bella? Bella, stop fighting. Just calm down a moment so that I can speak with you. Everything is fine. Jasper? Some help?"

"Sorry. I'm here."

I felt lethargic suddenly. My limbs all felt heavy and tired, leaving me motionless on the floor. I felt myself being held down by three of Edward's siblings and the doctor, a set of hands at each of my limbs. The doctor had my right wrist and was a bit more gentle than the others, which is why I had thrashed at him more. But now I couldn't fight. I must have been given a shot or something.

When I had opened my eyes a few seconds ago, the burning had been gone. My vision was still strange, but not like before. Details weren't poking out at me in strange ways that threatened to give me a migraine. Everything I was seeing made perfect sense – the only thing that didn't make sense was how my vision had suddenly become ten thousand times stronger.

I started to sit up, to bring my hands around behind me and push myself upright. I felt stronger, though. My inactive stomach muscles somehow didn't seem afraid of the idea of me sitting up without the help of my hands. But when I'd decided to try that, the problems had begun. I had moved into an upright position much too fast. The room had swirled in front of my eyes, but impossibly, I hadn't missed a single detail. I felt myself scream, but the sound I heard was alien. I clasped my hands down of over my mouth and started to bite into my bottom lip, as was my habit when I was feeling upset or afraid. But the teeth that dug into my lip were not my own. They were much too sharp.

I looked down toward my mouth (something that should have been pointless, I couldn't see my teeth without a mirror). But what I did see were my hands. They were pale white, even more so than usual. And shimmering in the light like…

I couldn't even finish the sentence. I had nothing to compare them to.

My eyes searched the room for answers and I immediately realized that I wasn't in a hospital after all. The room was too nice, all white with plush sofas and walls of glass.

And a beautiful, vintage looking telephone.

I made a b-line for it and crashed into the couch, once again shocked by the speed with which the room had moved around me. That was when I had felt myself being tugged in all directions by Edward's siblings and the doctor. It was the doctor who was trying to reason with me now.

"I feel different," I whimpered. "My skin looks weird. And I sound…" I trailed off, my sentence getting muffled by a whimper. It was strange. I felt my eyes prickling with heat but no tears came. Something was definitely wrong with me. What had happened?

"Bella, I know this is a shock. And there isn't an easy way to say it…so I'll just try and come right out with it."

I nodded. At least I was getting answers. "Look at me. Look at Alice, on your left. At Jasper holding your left ankle and then at Emmett on your right. We all have things in common. Pale skin – which you now share – similar features, voices, and eyes. Your eyes are a bit different for now, but soon… I mean… if you choose…"

"Wait," I stopped him. "I'm confused – "

He cut me off. "Sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself. Bella, you may have noticed that my family and I are… different." I nodded. "We aren't human, Bella. We're… we're vampires." He stared at me, waiting for my reaction. My first instinct was to laugh, but the laugh was instantly repressed when I remembered the cafeteria.

I remembered Alice dancing off with incredible grace to throw out her lunch – unopened soda, unbitten apple. None of them had eaten. And then the skin. Incredibly pale and the… the bruising.

Like dead bodies.

I whimpered. "You don't have to be afraid, Bella. Especially not now. Now that you are one of us."

Again, disbelief was my first reaction, but my mind quickly dismissed the feeling when I remembered my changed skin. My vision. My apparent speed. And strength – it had taken the four of them to hold me down. All these changes so suddenly... even my voice…

There was no question that I wasn't the same as I had been before.

"You may notice that your throat feels a bit dry. By now, perhaps you're even feeling a burning sensation?"

I nodded; it was very slight, but definitely uncomfortable, now that he had brought it to my attention.

"Though most vampire legends aren't based in fact, the legends of our diets are true. You will crave blood to quench your thirst. Now, you may choose to go your own way, but my family and I do not feed off of humans. We live among them. And should you choose, you are welcome to join us. We will teach you how to sustain yourself without killing humans."

I nodded quickly. There was a burning sensation still assaulting my eyes. A prickling feeling, but not the moisture that was associated with it. What, was I no longer able to cry? Just the thought made me want to cry even more. I had so many questions, but there were too many things on my mind, so I said nothing.

"I'm glad you want to join us," he continued. I could tell that he was telling the truth. I immediately felt a little better. At least I wasn't alone. "My name is Carlisle, by the way. My wife is Esme – she isn't here, but she'll return soon. Alice and Jasper are married. You may have already guessed that they're older than they look."

Alice gave a small giggle and smiled warmly at me when my eyes darted to her. Another wave of relief washed over me. It was so strong and distinct... and odd, because I didn't really _feel _as calm as I was becoming. Still, I allowed myself to give into the feeling and relax as Carlisle continued to talk.

"Emmett is with Rosalie." I searched for a Rosalie, but didn't see her. "She's out with Esme, shopping for some things for you. We wanted you to have some things even if you chose to leave – clothes, a car. And of course… you've met Edward?"

His voice twisted into a strange new tone when he mentioned Edward. I remembered the details of what he'd just said perfectly, which was strange. I was usually bad with names. Another quality of my new… condition? I also realized that unlike with Esme and Rosalie, he hadn't mentioned Edward's whereabouts. My new and improved brain got through this within seconds before I became suspicious.

"Where is Edward?" My voice sounded like theirs now. It still had the undertones of my old voice, but all the roughness of it had now been camouflaged with the beautiful, wind chime quality the rest of theirs had.

"He's out hunting. He was at your side the whole time you were changing – which was fast, considering. You were changing for two days." So that was the burning? "But it was imperative that he fed so we sent him to hunt not too long ago."

"How did this happen?"

Despite myself, I felt slightly pleased at the new sound of my voice. I started to think of other details that might have changed even as I listened to Carlisle talk. Was my skin the only thing that was different, or was I as beautiful as them now? A part of me wanted to be, but another part felt sad. I wasn't the most glamorous person in the world, but I liked being me. Was this one of those be-careful-what-you-wish-for scenarios? I'd envied them, especially Rosalie, when I saw them in the cafeteria. Now I was one of them. But when I finally saw a mirror, would I recognize myself? Would I still be me? My stomach did a slow twist.

"A human can become a vampire if their blood is mixed with vampire venom. As long as their heart remains beating, the venom can spread. The venom will repair any injuries as it spreads and eventually spread to the entire body, stopping the heart. When the heart stops, the process is complete."

Without thinking about it, my hand raced to my chest. Carlisle was right. There was no heartbeat.

But he still hadn't supplied me with the true answer to my question. He told me how humans became vampires, but what I wanted to know was how this had happened to _me._ My new brain did the math quickly. Venom – that was on teeth. I noted my razor sharp teeth. The venom would have needed to mix with my blood. It didn't take long for the pieces to fall into place.

"Which one of you?" I asked, glaring around the room. But no one looked guilty. No one looked sorry or defensive or anything like that. It was Alice that gave it away, her eyes darted toward the glass wall, then back at me. I looked to the window and realized what she had been looking at. The forest.

Esme and Rosalie were shopping. The rest of them were here… all but one. The one who had glared at me in the classroom. The one I had been alone with right before the pain had started, who apparently had been in desperate need of hunting. The one who I now knew was responsible for changing… no… for _ruining_ my life.

"Edward," I whispered.


	3. The Cullens

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**The Cullens**

The Cullen house was enormous. The living room alone was large enough to hold a sizable crowd. Edith Wharton images came to mind as I passed under the high arc that connected the living room to the dining room. I imagined how grand the room could look when decorated. I expected that any guests of the Cullens' would feel almost a bit uncomfortable in such a lavish home. Even a simple dinner party here would have an extremely elegant feel.

_Or not, _I thought, when I remembered that the Cullens didn't have dinner – at least not at the table. This was a house where no one ate and no one slept. None of them ever felt exhausted and needed to sit on the plush sofas. No one actually used the toilet in the bathroom, or the other thing that looked like a toilet but apparently… wasn't. This house may as well have been a movie set for all the props it housed.

"We use this room mainly as a conference room," Carlisle informed me now. His voice was calm and collected, even as he spoke his next words. "In fact, perhaps you should sit, Bella. There is a matter that needs to be discussed and I'm afraid it's quite urgent. We should address it before we continue with the tour."

I did as Carlisle asked, taking a seat at the far end of the table. It seemed very unusual to me, too formal, when the rest of the Cullens took their seats as well. When everyone was seated, Carlisle, who was at the head of the table, placed both palms on the expensive looking wood and began to speak.

"While other groups of vampires may call themselves covens, we think of ourselves as a family, Bella. We conduct ourselves as a family, which means that if one of us makes a mistake that puts themselves or the whole at risk, we protect each other. Regrettably, Edward's actions have created a difficult situation for all of us. Usually if one of us has an indiscretion," – he said it so casually, you would forget that death was involved – "we move our family to a suitable location to avoid being implicated. In this case, however, I'm afraid that moving on would do more to raise suspicions than to avoid them. Yet on the other hand, as a newborn it would really be better to keep you away from people until you can learn to control your thirst. We wouldn't want any – "

"Indiscretions," I interrupted. My voice was flat, my disapproval of Carlisle's nonchalance apparent.

"I was going to say, we wouldn't want anyone else getting hurt. But yes, Bella, you're also correct." I immediately regretted my interruption. Carlisle's eyes seemed ancient with regret. I tried to remind myself not to be angry at him, at any of the people sitting at the table with me now. They hadn't meant to bring me into this situation. All they could do now was help me; all I could do was let them.

"For now at least, you can't be allowed to leave the property alone, the main reason being that we don't want you hurting anyone by mistake. Oddly though, you seem rather calm for a newborn, doesn't she, Jasper?"

Jasper nodded, but didn't speak. Was there some unwritten rule that no one interrupted Carlisle at family conferences? Had I already broken a rule?

"Then of course there is the other matter. Charlie."

My brand new brain wasted no time making sense of his words.

"What does he think happened to me?"

"I called Charlie myself when Alice brought you here and told him that you'd been found unconscious not too far from school grounds. He thinks you're in a coma right now. I blamed the coma on a snake bite and told him that if you don't wake up soon you'll need to be sent away for special treatment." I felt my brows arch. "I know. It's a far-fetched story, but serves the purpose. It explains you not coming home. It keeps the rest of the town off base. Charlie hasn't even told anyone the whole story, as a matter of fact. To my knowledge he's telling people you have the stomach flu; he mentioned your mother is in Phoenix, that you'd been living with him for the first time. Perhaps that explains his reluctance to allow the real story to circulate. Then of course, your being sent to some special hospital far away will buy us the time we need until you've learned to control yourself around humans. Once that happens, we'll find a way to fake your death."

"I'm sorry. I feel like I should know this. I don't though, so, why? Why do I need to fake my death? If I'll be able to be around humans, couldn't I just come back fully recovered?"

"In theory, you could. In reality, though, that scenario is problematic."

"How so?"

"Your appearance, for one, will raise suspicions. Not only will you no longer look like yourself, but you'll suddenly bear a striking resemblance to us. Even if the rest of the town doesn't catch on, your father certainly will. Then eventually, even if you did somehow manage to launch yourself back into society without anyone noticing the difference, you won't be aging, and someonewill notice _that_. That will lead to conversations about how I haven't seemed to age a day since we've lived here; how young I look for a doctor, etcetera."

"So people will probably think I'm using some expensive face cream. As long as no one gets hurt, who cares what people think?"

"No, Bella. We can't afford to leave stories behind us. The world is a smaller place now. It would be one thing for one small town to have a vague legend of an immortal family, but for our pictures to be on the internet with the entire world knowing all of us by name would be quite another. If humans were made aware of our true nature, the consequences would be unimaginable." He shook his head, his expression firm. "We can't allow it."

I didn't have a response. I briefly, very briefly, considered not staying with the Cullens after all. If I went off on my own there would be no one to tell me what I could and couldn't do. No one telling me that I could never see my parents again. But that didn't make sense. I wasn't ready to be alone yet, and besides that, Carlisle had made it seem like exposure was a problem in general – not just with them.

Unless…

_Of course._

"What if no one sees me?" The words fell out of my mouth in a quick blur, but everyone seemed to have heard me.

"What do you mean?" Carlisle looked thoughtful. I felt a shimmer of hope. If nothing else, it proved he _wanted _to help me.

"I assume I'm not allowed to tell Charlie the truth?" The entire table literally nodded at the same time. "But I could tell him _that_, couldn't I? That I can't tell him the truth. That I can't see him, but that I'm okay. To tell everyone that I went back home to live with Renee – that I couldn't stand the constant clouds, or something. But I'll call him every day. And my mom." I glanced around the table frantically, my eyes pleading. "I wouldn't even have to mention that I'm staying with you guys. Please? They can't think I'm dead. I can't do that to them. Charlie would never forgive himself. Please?"

"Where would you say you were staying?" The beautiful, song like voice that broke the silence was Esme's.

"Ummm…" I hadn't thought it through that far. Even my super-charged brain couldn't seem to come up with a suitable suggestion. And then the strangest thought went through my mind…

I remembered an afternoon in Phoenix that must have been just a couple of weeks ago – oddly, I couldn't remember. I had been sitting outside on our porch finishing up a novel, a romantic thriller. The Navy Seal had been coaching a civilian, teaching them how to lie. It was his advice that tugged on my memory now.

_The key to a good lie is to stay as close to the truth as possible._

"What if… I tell him that you saved my life?" Carlisle looked confused, but I continued. "I'll tell him the truth, minus the secret details. I'll say I was dying, but your family helped me. That you have a secret, and it's the secret that saved me, but now that I'm a part of it, I need to stay and live with you for my own good… and for his. He'll know I'm okay for now… and maybe…" I trailed off, feeling doubtful.

"What is it, Bella?" Esme crooned, her voice already affecting me the way a mother's would.

"Maybe once I can be around humans I can see him. Just him, and maybe my mom… no one else." I barely moved my lips as the words snuck out. When Carlisle began to nod, I sighed.

"That may be an acceptable proposal, Bella. We don't want you to lose your family."

"Sorry to interrupt," Alice whispered, reaching across the table and placing her tiny hand on mine. "But it's about time for us to leave for school." I made a show of shifting uncomfortably in my seat so that I'd need the hand under Alice's to adjust. Something flashed across her face too quickly for me to see, but then her face was smooth again. The Cullens I recognized from school rose from the table and headed for the front door. It wasn't until they'd nearly disappeared that I realized I hadn't felt uncomfortable once since I'd opened my eyes. What if vampires simply didn't _get_ uncomfortable?

_Then Alice knows I was faking a moment ago._

I whimpered. Esme was immediately at my side, her gentle hands grasping my shoulders and coaxing me out of my seat.

"Come, Bella," she crooned, gesturing back to the great white room and toward the staircase. I walked with her, feeling the uncomfortable stab of frozen tears behind my eyes. "Let me show you to your room so you can settle in."

The subtle sounds of Carlisle moving about did not fade as I climbed the staircase and proceeded down the long hallway. They would hear me when I broke into my inevitable sobs no matter where I was in the house. It was only the illusion of privacy I was being offered now.

Either way, I wanted it.

How there was a room that looked almost exactly like my old one, in the big, white house where no one ate or slept, I didn't know. How someone had managed to stock the bookshelf with what looked to be Austen, Wharton, and Brontë first editions, I couldn't say. What it must have cost to fully stock my drawers and closet with clothes that I was somehow sure would fit me, and generously include a brand new laptop and cell phone on my desk, I couldn't even conceive. How much money did these people _have _anyway?

My eyes skimmed around the room, taking in the wooden furniture and double bed. Esme read the question right off my face before I'd even asked it.

"We wanted you to feel comfortable, Bella," she whispered, even as she inched toward the door. "You might feel more at home with a bed. If you want to redecorate later, it's alright, I won't be offended. I just thought – "

"You did all this?"

"Yes…" she hesitated. "I hope you don't mind. I… should I have waited to see what you would have liked? I just assumed you liked your room at your father's, so I – "

"No," I cut her off. "It's… it's lovely, Esme. Thank you."

"You're most welcome, Bella." She shut the door softly behind her, and then I was alone.

I hadn't dry sobbed long before deciding that I didn't feel the release I needed from crying with no tears. I was about to go over to the bookshelf and see whether or not those could really _all _be first editions when there was a soft knock at the door.

"Come in," I mumbled, knowing the person on the other side would have no trouble hearing me.

It was Rosalie who stepped humbly inside the room – _my _room – and shut the door behind her. She didn't speak immediately. She wandered over to my desk and fingered the cell phone that I'd still yet to examine myself.

"It's a Blackberry," she said, softly. "We all have them. You'll find a few extras in the top right drawer of your desk in case you accidentally break it." I felt the corner of my lips turn up just slightly at the thought. Rosalie returned my small smile. "Have you seen the books yet?"

I shook my head.

"First editions. All of them." I gasped. "If it feels like bribery or… like they're trying to compensate for what you've lost by spending unimaginable sums on you, please try not to feel that way. They're only doing it because they understand. They wish they could tell you how wonderful it is being what we are – they can't. So instead…"

"First editions?" I breathed.

She chuckled, but it was a dark sound. "Exactly. Under the cell phone you'll find a black American Express card with your name on it. Well…your first name. The last name on the card is Cullen. In the desk with the cell phone you'll also find your papers." She must have seen my confused expression. "There's an identification card, a birth certificate, a passport and a social security card. All forgeries, of course, but they're the best available. Carlisle wanted to prepare it all in case you decided to join our family, which you have." Rosalie lingered in my room, her fingers still worrying over the objects on my desk. She seemed hesitant about something.

"Won't you be late for school?" I asked, not needing to look for a clock to know that exactly seventeen minutes had passed since I left the table.

"I may take a personal day." The silent question, _why, _was in my eyes. "This isn't a life I would have chosen for myself. I'm not sure if you fully appreciate what this all means for you right now, but once you do, I'd like to be here for you, as a sister. I had Esme when I woke up, and she understood at the time. Now that she has us, though, I'm not sure…" she trailed off.

"What do you mean?"

She sighed. "Esme will call the school today if I decide… if _you _decide you'd like me to take a personal day; stay here and help you work through things. I asked her to tell the front desk I'm suffering from menstrual cramps."

I smirked. "Mine have never been that bad, but I hear some people have it rough."

Rose nodded. "Yes. That isn't something you'll have to worry about anymore, though."

Oh. Oh right, I hadn't even thought about that…

_Wait…_

_No! _

And suddenly I understood. I knew why Rose had come to talk to me, why she feared that Esme may not understand anymore. I wasn't ever going to get my period again. But that wasn't the only thing I'd never do.

I was never going to have children.

I hadn't even realized I'd wanted them so badly until this very moment, when I realized it could never happen. Rose caught me in her arms as I fell to my knees and rocked me slowly as I sobbed, not caring anymore whether or not I could _really _cry.

In ten minutes the rest of the make believe adopted Cullen children would be home from school. My brand new, make believe brothers and sisters. I noticed that the Cullens themselves didn't seem as though they were pretending. I wondered if it would ever be that way for me.

When the house was quieter (aside from the babbling stream a few miles out and the occasional passing of cars on the highway, though technically those sounds weren't coming from the _house_ per se) Carlisle decided it would be a good time to give Charlie a call. Carlisle called first and explained that he hadn't been completely honest with Charlie. He told him that he'd been keeping something from him, something he still couldn't fully disclose. With that, he handed me the phone, and I explained (as best I could without _really _explaining) my current predicament.

Charlie did not take the news well. He was choked up most of the time, and seemed angry and suspicious. No surprises there. However, he agreed that he wouldn't mention anything to Renee for now, and that he'd tell the town I had gone back to Phoenix. After Charlie, I called Renee and updated her on school events that I'd invented on the spot. When she asked about my voice I explained that there weren't many cell phone towers in the small town and the reception was awful. She didn't question my story.

Rosalie and I had spent most of the day in my (new) room. After I'd calmed down, she told me how she had ended up becoming a vampire – to say that I'd been luckier than her would have been an understatement. When I started to complain about the burn in my throat, Rosalie suggested that she take me hunting. I had no idea what to do, and told her as much, but she insisted that I go right away.

Actually, I didn't mind the hunting as much as I thought I would. Running through the forest at lightning speed was invigorating. I had been sloppier than Rose when I'd actually found my prey, much sloppier, but I seemed to have no trouble performing the deed. Rosalie informed me afterward that I was quite graceful, even for a vampire.

Afterward, we lounged in the living room with Carlisle and Esme. They told me some more about their family history and told me about the Volturi – vampire royalty, basically. I understood why I wasn't allowed to be conspicuous now and almost wished I hadn't called Charlie at all. I hoped he wouldn't ever figure out the secret I was refusing to tell him. Apparently it might cost him his life if he did.

"Your brothers and sisters will be home soon," Esme said, looking anxious about something as she rose from the white couch. She disappeared for a moment, and when she came back she had a large, rectangular box in her hands. "I wanted you to have this before they arrive." She placed the velvet box in my lap, as I had not reached out to take it from her.

_Another gift, _I thought._ But they've spent so much on me already._

"Go on," Rosalie encouraged, "open it."

"Unless…" Esme hesitated. "She might… would you want some privacy, Bella?"

"No, no, it's alright. I'm just a little overwhelmed, that's all. I'll open it." The inside of the box was lined with crimson velvet, and a beautiful, white gold necklace lay on top. A delicate pendant hung from the exquisite chain, and without thinking about it, I dangled the necklace from my fingertips, watching it shimmer at all angles.

"Careful," Rosalie whispered. I stiffened. I wasn't in total control of my strength yet and I was grateful she'd reminded me.

"It's our family crest," Carlisle said. "We each have one on some piece of jewelry. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. We just wanted to properly welcome you into our family."

"Thank you," I said, though I wasn't sure if anyone heard me. I worried my fingers over the clasp, unsure if I should attempt to open it and risk ruining the necklace. Rosalie was instantly at my side – she quickly put the necklace on for me before I could make a fuss, then returned to her place on the sofa.

Just then I heard the gentle hum of an engine come to a halt.

"They're home," she said.

"Hey, Bella!" Alice danced over to me and plopped herself beside me on the couch, slinging an arm over my shoulder. "Did you have a good time with Rose today?"

"Yeah." I nodded. I was glad it was the truth.

"I was thinking we could go shopping tonight."

I blinked. "Shopping?" I asked, confused. "But the closet upstairs is full of brand new clothes."

I glanced over to Rosalie for answers and she smirked, shaking her head slightly as she did. The look on her face was playful, though, as if whatever annoying quality Alice was currently displaying was equally endearing. I looked back to Alice.

"Silly. You're new to the family, so I guess it's okay that you don't know yet, but we don't wear that same clothes twice. Ever."

I gasped, not needing much time to figure out how much _money _that implied. "Never?"

"No! Not on my watch."

"Oh. But… well… I rather liked this shirt… sort of…" I stammered.

"_That _shirt, Bella? Of all the things in your closet to defend, you choose a plain, long sleeved, cotton t-shirt? Did you even _see _all the things you have up there?" I stared at her, my expression completely blank. "Come!"

Before I knew it she was yanking me by the arm and dragging me up the stairs at lightning speed. I heard Rose behind us, giggling hysterically, and couldn't help but crack a small smile myself.

Now that I thought about it, I'd always wanted a sister.

Alice rummaged through the drawers and closets at whirlwind speed, flicking items here and there, placing only a select few on my bed. Every now and then she would stop and give Rose a face, and Rose would nod or shake her head in response. I'd never actually had a My Size Barbie as a kid, but I knew the game when I saw it.

"It's still cold out," Alice said, as if this explained why she was flinging nude colored lingerie at the bed, "so you'll need to dress accordingly. You won't _actually _get cold or hot anymore, so check the weather everyday – there's an app on your phone – or just turn on the news and look at what other people are wearing."

There was a _what _on my phone for the weather? "Ummm… Alice? What's an – "

"_And _you'll want to make sure you've got the proper undergarments on even though you won't really _need _them anymore." She raised her eyebrow pointedly, her eyes briefly skimming my mid-section. Humiliated, I didn't dare look down. "Humans are prone to jealously, so we don't want to flaunt too much…just enough. Okay," she gestured toward the bed where I assumed a complete outfit was waiting. "Try this."

I approached the bed cautiously, my eyes skimming over the alien clothing. When my eyes fell on the shoes they must have bugged out of my head.

"What's wrong?" Alice squealed.

"Heels?" I waited for her to realize my concerns, but she continued to look at me, apparently still awaiting an explanation. "I… can't… exactly walk in heels. At all, really, let alone spiky ones like those."

"Yes you can," she demanded.

"No, I really – "

"Yes, Bella, you can. I saw you jumping out of a tree only to land perfectly on a mountain lion this afternoon. A pair of stilettos should be no problem for you."

Okay. Now I was really confused.

"You were there? But I thought… didn't you go to school today?"

For once, Alice's face was the one wearing surprise. She calmed immediately though, as though suddenly remembering what she'd forgotten, then shot Rosalie an amused glare.

"So… I'm not even going to ask what you two were talking about today." Rose chuckled. Alice turned to me. "Bella, some vampires have extra powers, besides the strength and speed. I'm one of them."

"Oh," I gasped, genuinely surprised. "What can you do?" I felt like I was at Comic Con discussing the superpowers of a fictional character. This was unreal.

"I see the future." Holy crow. "I mean… my visions are subjective. I can only see as far as a person's last decision, but people change their minds all the time. I can't always trust the future I see."

"Except yours," I quipped. Alice beamed at me. Ha! See? I was getting the hang of this sister thing. "Rose, what can you do?"

"I'm gorgeous." She shrugged. I gaped at her. Was she serious? "Bella, I'm joking!" I let out the breath I'd been holding and chuckled awkwardly. "No, that just comes with being a vampire. I don't have an extra ability."

"Oh. You should have just let me go, I would have believed you. You… both of you… you're so pretty." I shook my head, horrified at my understatement. "Beautiful."

Both sisters frowned at me. What, I hadn't offended them, had I? Should I have gone with 'exquisite?'

Alice turned to Rosalie. "Rose, you haven't shown her a mirror, have you?" Rosalie's face went completely defensive.

"Don't give me that face, you should have _seen _her earlier." Alice raised one eyebrow. "Ugh, Alice! You know what I mean. I was trying to introduce her to things gently."

"Well fine, but she's had time now. I'm getting a mirror for her room." Alice literally turned to leave, then spun on her toe and faced me again. "Bella, get dressed first!" I peeked at the piles of clothes, then back at Alice, my apprehension evident on my face. "Nope, no excuses. Dress!"

"Okay, okay," I whined, picking up the first nude, lacey thing.

I felt ridiculous. I was wearing a charcoal gray pencil skirt with a black, short sleeved turtle neck. I wore sheer black stockings under the spiky black boots – now I understood the smirk Rosalie had given me in the living room; there was simply no saying 'no' to Alice. The more uncomfortable aspect out of the outfit was the undergarments she had insisted on – those, however, I couldn't name. Rosalie and Alice had teamed up and taken a blow dryer to my hair, so that instead of untidy waves (which truthfully didn't seem quite as untidy anymore), my hair hung sleek and straight. Yes, I felt ridiculous. But when Alice brought the mirror up to my room, the girl reflected in the mirror was stunning. It took me a few minutes, honestly, to recognize myself, but I didn't have any complaints.

If Alice wanted to play My Size Bella every day, I wouldn't argue.

Once I had fully dressed, girl talk had officially commenced. Esme was dragged into our banter when she came upstairs to see what all the giggling was about and hadn't made it out of the room yet. Alice had just begun to tell me about the _other _'vegetarian' – ha! – family in Denali when there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in!" Rosalie yelled, playfully, as Alice, Esme, and I giggled hysterically.

When the door opened, however, all the laughter stopped.


	4. Invitations

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Invitations**

"I'm sorry to interrupt."

My breath caught. My memory of him in the classroom didn't begin to do him justice as I stared at Edward through my new and improved eyes. The details of his face were even more pronounced than I remembered, his hair even more radiant, his face exponentially more beautiful. I was momentarily dumbfounded by his appearance, and the intensity with which his liquid topaz eyes bore into mine.

After that moment, though, my breath returned to me. So did the sadness, the pain, and the _anger _that I had been feeling throughout the day. The happy and relaxed feelings I'd been having just a moment ago left me completely, and all I could do was return Edward's humble gaze with what I hoped was a blood chilling stare.

"I just wanted to speak with Bella for a moment," he murmured, his voice sounding even less sure. He turned to me. "If you wouldn't mind."

I sighed. _Yes I _would _mind, _I wanted to shout, before pushing him out of the room and slamming the door in his face. The problem was that he was so flawlessly polite – I would end up looking like an immature idiot if I did so.

Also, I might damage the door.

Esme nodded politely at me before heading to the door, gently taking Alice's hand and pulling her along. Rosalie, however, did not move an inch.

"Just a conversation," Edward said, glaring at Rosalie with disapproval.

"Bella?" Rose asked, clearly having no intention of leaving us alone if I didn't allow it.

"I'm alright," I told her. She nodded at me and walked slowly out my door, all the while glaring at Edward in a way that put my sorry excuse for a glare to shame.

Edward shut the door quietly behind them. He stood with his back to me for a few moments, then finally turned to me.

"Bella, I know there's nothing I can say that will rectify the situation in any way," he started.

Already I was livid. _The situation? That's _what we were going to call it?

"Please know that I never meant to hurt you, and that I take full responsibility for my actions. It was foolish of me to have gone so long without hunting. I thought I was strong enough, having lived among humans for nearly a century – obviously I was wrong. I had never smelled anything like your blood before, not in a hundred years, and I lost control. I was weak; irresponsible. Stupid. I'm sorry."

He watched me, waiting for some kind of reaction, but I said nothing. "If there is anything you need to help you cope in your new surroundings" – _new surroundings?_ I snorted. Would the formalities never end? – "I'd be happy to help you. Please, if there is anything you need, anything at all, do not hesitate to ask. Even if…" he hesitated. "I'm aware you've learned of the Denali coven… I'm prepared to join them for a few years if you would rather I left."

"_No!" _It was Esme who had breathed the word from downstairs. Even from here, I heard Carlisle rush to her side.

"_If he feels he needs to leave-" _he started.

"_No," _Esme cut him off. "_You know how he is; he's been beating himself up over this for days already. Now we're supposed to let him run off to Alaska? And do what, exactly? Lie in the snow for months at a time, loathing himself, the way he'd be lying in that room if we didn't need to keep up appearances in Forks? He may not even contact the Denali coven if he leaves, you realize that. He can't be left to his own devices right now, Carlisle."_

I tried to tune her out. As interested as I was in their conversation, I didn't feel right intruding. I shook my head, trying to focus only on the sounds in my room. When I looked at Edward again, he was staring at me curiously.

"What?" I asked, not bothering to make my voice sound pleasant.

He flinched ever so slightly, then spoke. "It's nothing," he whispered, his voice gentle. "I was just thinking to myself. As I was saying," – oh no, back to that – "I don't expect you to forgive me immediately. I do hope you'll be able to with time. I didn't do this purposely. It wasn't personal. In fact, in the brief amount of time I spent with you before I…" he stopped himself. Before he what? Bit me? Killed me? "In that short time… I tried… I really tried…" His voice broke. I was beginning to feel sorry for him, despite myself, and it was serving to make me even angrier. "I never meant to hurt you, Bella."

He met my eyes again and waited, but I couldn't respond. I had nothing to say to him. No response at all; not because I didn't want to be able to respond in some way, but because I was still too ignorant to this life to have any idea how to proceed. I was thinking a thousand things right now, none of which I knew how to put into words.

His eyes searched mine as he waited. It was my habit to stare at one spot when I was concentrating, and as I had accidentally chosen Edward's face as my focal point, I was suddenly forced to do more than just look at him. I was forced to _see _him, to really see_ Edward_, and I immediately realized that of all the exceptionally beautiful vampires in this house, I found him to be the most exquisite one of all. And it wasn't because of his sex hair, his butterscotch eyes, his lean but muscular frame, or the strong, perfect line of his jaw. It was something else… something that I couldn't quite place.

Whatever I was feeling must have shown in my eyes, because at that moment, Edward took a very large, very deliberate step toward me.

"I mean it," he said, his voice sounding stronger already. "It was an accident. I wouldn't have done this to anyone on purpose, especially not to you." Every time he referenced me there was something different… something more to his voice.

"Especially?" I hadn't really spoken the word. My lips had moved, but almost no sound had come out.

"Yes." Edward stepped forward again. He was close now. If I took just one step forward with my arm fully outstretched, I could touch him. A feeling rushed through me at the thought. It was too much. I had never felt anything so powerful before. Before I knew it, I didn't have to step forward and reach out to touch Edward. I _was_ touching Edward. It was just like when I'd first woken up, and found myself sitting upright the moment I'd thought to do it. A mixture of horror and humiliation overcame me, and I snatched my hand away from Edward's face, holding it to my chest with the other as if I was stopping it from acting of its own accord.

"Sorry," I breathed. "I didn't mean to… I just thought it and then I was… so fast." I wondered if I was the only vampire who stammered.

"That's normal. Your speed will take some getting used to. And it may be a while before you can control your impulses."

_My impulses. _That was unsettling. Not the idea that I had impulses, but the fact that my impulse had been to touch him. My hand had gone straight to his face, my fingers curled around to tangle in his hair. What was that about? Everyone had made it seem like the only impulses I had would have to do with blood – with killing. I should have to be stopping myself from jumping out the window and chasing down lost hikers, not from running my fingers through Edward's soft, messy hair.

"Bella," he whispered. Something happened to me as he spoke my name. A strange, hot, tingly feeling shot down my front; something tightened in the pit of my stomach. This was no vampire impulse. It was more powerful than I remembered it, but this was a feeling I recognized. For the first time today, I'd felt something human.

Something occurred to me as I thought about being human, and I took a step back from Edward to gather my thoughts.

"I feel fine," I said. Edward furrowed his brow, confused. "I mean, my throat seemed dry earlier, but Rose took me out and now I feel better. I don't feel crazy or out of control with thirst. I feel just fine."

Edward pursed his lips. "Yes… but that's because there aren't any humans for miles. I'm not trying to discourage you. You just need to be prepared. The smell of human blood will affect you more severely than you realize when you finally experience it, you'll see." I scowled, trying to picture myself attacking humans but not quite able to manage it. "You'll be okay," Edward whispered. "We'll make sure you don't – "

The sound of a car door slamming shut ended Edward's sentence. Charlie's cruiser was visible from my window. All at once, Alice had burst through the door, she and Edward working together to hold me back. Or rather, working together to hold me. You couldn't really call it holding me back since I wasn't fighting one bit.

"Alice, how did you miss – ?"

"Shut it, Edward. I was focusing on something while you two were talking."

"On what?" Edward snarled. "What was so important?"

"Nothing." But Alice's voice was defensive.

"Alice?" Edward's voice was eager now. A gentle hum started in my right ear. Alice's voice was like a chorus of soft bells. "Alice, stop it."

"Stop what?" I asked, but no one answered me. Edward scowled in front of me, his arms tightening on my shoulders as Alice began muttering to herself in a foreign language behind me. "Spanish?" I asked her curiously.

"Portuguese," Edward growled through his teeth.

"Guys!" I whined, causing them both to gasp and look at me. "I'm sorry, but Charlie is here." I waited for them to follow my logic, but neither of them responded to my statement. "He'll want to see me."

"No. That wasn't the agreement." My head snapped up. Jasper stood in the doorway, his gaze trained on me as if he expected me to run at him at any second. "Don't worry," he said, looking right through me to talk to Alice. "Carlisle will handle it. In the meantime, we'll keep her up here."

"What? No!" I pushed Edward aside, heading for the door. They didn't think they would stop me from seeing Charlie, did they? Just then Jasper's expression changed and my whole body felt heavy; I slumped, feeling as limp as I had earlier in the day. I fell backward, and probably would have hit the floor if Alice hadn't caught me.

"Dammit, Rosalie," I muttered.

"Rosalie?" The question was Alice's.

"She didn't tell me about the superpowers."

Alice snickered. Then, "Jazz, it's okay. You don't have to do that. She's different."

"No such thing as different, darlin'."

"Jazz – "

"Hon, when you say red and purple don't go together unless it's the red sole of a purple Louboutin, you know what you're talking about." Alice huffed, as if to say 'obviously.' "And when _I _say a newborn is a newborn is a newborn, _I _know what _I'm _talking about."

"Then why don't you tell me why Bella is standing here waiting for the verdict, rather than trying to rip us up and get to her dad," Alice snapped, her high pitched voice sounding sure. Though, being near psychic, I supposed it would be easy to feel sure of one's self.

Jasper met my eyes then, and for the first time since he'd entered the room, seemed to really look at me. Some of the heaviness in my limbs lifted (had he removed his power to see if I'd try anything?).

"You're nervous," he said, still watching me closely as if waiting for an attack.

"You seem to be testing me… expecting me to fail," I told him. "This is my father. I need to pass." Even the slight break in my voice sounded different, and my mind wandered suddenly, wondering about all the other things that were different about me that I hadn't even discovered yet.

"Why are you so anxious now?"

I sighed. "My voice cracked and sounded almost pretty. It made me realize how changed I am. It's like I don't know myself…" I trailed off. I took another breath, trying to get focused. "I guess I was panicking a bit."

"A bit… yes…" Jasper trailed off, seeming confused.

Annoyed with the twenty questions, I decided to focus on Charlie. There were three vampires surrounding me for a reason, and that was to make sure I didn't do to him what had been done to me. To make sure I didn't kill him.

I took a deep breath in, taking in the different flavors in the air, trying to find Charlie's. At first, I only smelled a faint musk that reminded me of my old home. Then…

_Ah! Yes. _All my senses perked up suddenly, my body coiled to spring. The hot, wet scent flew down my throat, making the burn I thought had disappeared prickle again. I heard his heartbeat, his steady breathing, and knew exactly where I'd find him if I ran downstairs now. Just two and a half steps inside the foyer. I could actually _hear _the blood being pushed through his veins as his heart thumped rhythmically against his –

_No, _my thoughts warned. I staggered back, grasping clumsily behind me until I found Alice's hand. It wasn't just blood, it _wasn't _just blood! It was Charlie.

_Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, _I chanted desperately to myself. _Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie._

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Jazz?" I breathed, using his nickname – though we weren't on those terms yet – to avoid taking a bigger breath than necessary.

"Cover your nose and mouth to breathe. Talk to me for a second. Tell me what's going on."

I did as he'd instructed. Alice put her hands on my shoulders – for support, not to restrain me – as I backed us into the far corner of my bedroom. Edward as Jasper stood at opposite points of the room, each equidistant from the door.

"The lion was like a non-fat, low-sodium, sugar-free, badly seasoned version of this," I rushed out, speaking almost as quickly as they often did with the sorry excuse for a breath I'd taken. Alice actually snickered. "Like settling for salad and smelling steak." As I talked about the different foods, I tried to remember their smells. Focusing on something other than – _don't think it! – _was actually helping.

"And your throat?" Jasper prompted.

"Burning," I confirmed.

"How badly?" he demanded. He seemed almost angry, but I didn't understand why that might be.

I took a deep breath in, wanting to make sure that my next words would be true. The scent – Charlie's scent – left a trail of fire behind it down my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut, swallowing once, then opened my eyes which were prickling with venom. "I can manage," I said, my voice clipped as I tried to achieve normal breathing. "But you're probably right about me staying upstairs."

Jasper stared at me for a moment or two, then turned his back on me and flew out the door, slamming it roughly behind him. Alice rubbed my shoulders, attempting to calm me, while Edward stood gaping at me from across the room.

…

Charlie had only stayed for a matter of minutes. Carlisle explained that I was very upset, but that Alice had taken me shopping to try and cheer me up. Alice had stayed hidden upstairs with me while Edward guarded the door, the rest of the family doing 'human things' downstairs. Charlie reluctantly admitted that he hadn't come to see me after all, remembering the circumstances of the arrangement. He had only come to thank Carlisle for saving me in person – however he'd had to do it – and to ask that he make sure I called him every day.

When Charlie started to get choked up, Alice suddenly asked me about my outfit and whether I'd want to put something more comfortable on since I'd be staying inside. By the time we'd found a v-neck tee and a form fitting pair of sweats, Charlie had left. Alice told me that she'd seen a vision of me dry sobbing, and that the noise from upstairs would have made Charlie suspicious. I thanked her for distracting me with a hug, and asked if she'd mind if I put my hair in a ponytail. "Just for today," was her answer.

The rest of the day was odd. All the check points that usually dictated the structure of my day – doing home work, preparing dinner, eating, and sleeping – didn't exist in this house, and no longer would for me. Alice treated me to a mani-pedi as she filled in the blanks that Rosalie had left earlier. I initially panicked when I found out Edward could read minds, but she assured me that he couldn't read mine for some reason. By the time my nails and toes had dried, the sun had gone down, and Alice had decided that my eyebrows needed shaping.

"Good news," she said. "The waxing won't hurt. And your hair isn't growing, so we'll only have to do this once."

At eight o' clock Alice went downstairs to speak with Jasper. I twiddled my thumbs for exactly three seconds before I decided that I was going to keep what few traditions I could if I had to be a vampire. I chose a pair of navy, flannel pajamas – which I had to dig to find under the satin and lace that was dominating the pajama drawer – and brought them into the bathroom with me. There was a fresh toothbrush in the medicine cabinet, which I placed in the empty toothbrush rack when I was finished. I was relieved to see my familiar brands of freesia scented body wash and strawberry shampoo (Esme must have picked them up) in the shower. I got in, turned the water up nice and hot, and took a long, steamy shower as if it was three nights ago.

I returned to my room when I was dry, my damp hair in a ponytail (technically, as no one would be going to sleep anytime soon, it would _always _be today, wouldn't it?) only to find a first edition of Jane Austen's _Persuasion _laid out on my bed, a note on top of it.

_This one wasn't among your collection at home. This should help pass the hours. My room is around the corner at the very end of the hall, if you'd like to talk, or if you've read all seven after all. – Edward_

I stared at the letter, gently touching the paper over the lines of Edward's flawless script. In the same moment my fingers made a light sound against the paper, a deep sigh sounded a little ways away.

He'd been waiting.

"Edward?" I whispered, hoping he could hear my whisper from his room if I had heard him sigh.

"Yes, Bella?" His voice was a whisper too, but rougher than mine.

I stood, walking at what I hoped was a human pace through my door, and cautiously to a corner of the hallway I hadn't seen before. I ignored the three doors on my right and the two on my left, focusing on the one that waited at the end of the hall. I stopped when I'd arrived, placing my hand on the doorknob and beginning to turn, but released it quickly. I was very nervous and I wasn't sure of my own strength. I made a fist, prepared to knock, but Edward was faster. He opened the door, his eyes fixed on me expectantly.

"I hadn't read it," I whispered, my eyes down. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure, Bella." I smiled politely, then turned to return to my room at a human pace. I gasped when a warm hand touched my arm. When I turned, Edward had taken a few steps toward me.

"You're leaving?"

"Only to my room."

"Oh." Edward let his hand drop and backed into his doorway. He looked disappointed. Truthfully, so was I. Everything in my body urged me to stay. Every moment that I didn't do just that was as difficult as the moments when Charlie had been here – I was fighting myself. Still, whatever attraction I was feeling toward Edward – and there was a seriously strong attraction – I couldn't let it control me. Though Edward's gestures may have appeared to be courtship in a normal situation, our situation was anything but normal. It was a mere two days after he'd ended my human life. Edward didn't feel what I was feeling. Edward felt guilt.

Not to mention, and I hadn't wanted to think of this before, but not to mention the fact that _I_ hadn't lost _my _senses when Charlie came over. Edward told me that mine had been the sweetest blood he'd ever smelled. Well Charlie's had been the sweetest blood that _I'd _ever smelled, yet I'd had the sense of mind to restrain myself. And I was a newborn, as Jasper had put it. If blood would be easier to resist when I was older, then I couldn't imagine why Edward hadn't been able to stop himself. No, I couldn't let this feeling get the best of me. Even if say, Edward _could _one day feel what I was feeling once the guilt subsided, I couldn't lose sight of the truth. My life was forever changed and, in some ways, forever ruined. And it was his fault.

"Your face is showing a million different expressions," he whispered, "but I've no idea what to make of them. I wish you would tell me what you're thinking."

"Bad idea, probably," I'd answered honestly before I could stop myself.

"Why is that?"

"You may not like what I'm thinking."

"Try me." There was a slight smirk forming crookedly on his face.

I considered. I was usually a bad liar, and it would be obvious if I edited anything out. But since I wouldn't blush when I omitted things, there would be nothing to betray my lie. I was also aware that the whole house could probably here me. I didn't want anyone knowing about my attraction to Edward, but there were other things that were bothering me, and those I decided I'd share.

"I want to forgive you," I started, "so, so badly. I look at you, and I can't imagine you hurting me on purpose; I think it must have been an accident like you say. But then I think about Charlie. It wasn't easy for me, but I did it. I was unprepared, and I haven't even been a vampire a full day, but _I _managed to do what you couldn't. So either I'm some vampire prodigy, or you were exaggerating about the power of thirst to manipulate me into forgiving you."

"Is it so difficult for you to imagine yourself being special?"

His words surprised me. I had expected him to immediately defend himself, and though his words did in a way, they didn't do so directly.

"The simplest answer is usually the correct one," I said evenly.

"I can't hear your thoughts. I couldn't when you were human either." He took a step forward. "There _is _something special about you, Bella. I don't know if your ability to handle your thirst is related, or – "

"Please," I cut him off. "Please, stop." Edward recoiled as if he'd been hit, taking a step away from me. "I'm sorry. It isn't you. I just… today has been… a lot. I really just want to go to sleep, except I can't, so maybe _Persuasion _will be a good idea."

"I didn't mean to overwhelm you."

"I was already overwhelmed," I said, my voice small.

Edward sighed. There was so much pain evident on his face as he processed my words. Once more I was overcome with the urge to forgive him, but pushed it away. If he _had _been lying to me before, it meant I couldn't trust him or his tortured facial expressions.

"I'll spend eternity earning your forgiveness, Bella," he said, softly. I smiled weakly. "And I do mean that quite literally."

I smirked as his meaning occurred to me. "Wow," I breathed. "Now forever really means…" I trailed off.

"Yes," he said. "Goodnight, Bella. Enjoy my gift."

"I'm sure I will. Goodnight, Edward."

Edward didn't close his door until I'd turned the corner. Once I was back in my room, I settled in the rocking chair next to the bookshelf with Edward's gift on my lap, trying to block out the voices from downstairs.

"…_what do you mean? You think they – "_

"_Hush, Jazz! We'll talk later."_

"_Stop spying, Alice."_

"_Shhhhh!"_

I shook my head before opening to Chapter One, smiling to myself as I wondered what Alice and Jasper could be bickering about.


	5. Phenomenon

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Phenomenon**

"Bella, wait a moment." Carlisle sighed deeply as he removed one palm from the table and rested his head in his hand. We'd had the same conversation before, and he knew I wouldn't let the subject drop easily. "Before we get into this again – "

"_Carlisle," _I whined, not even waiting for him to finish his sentence. "Alice took me to a mall last week_. A mall. _I was fine. Please?"

He sighed again. "It isn't your control in a crowd that concerns me, Bella, and you know it."

"I wasn't even in school a full day. By now everyone will have forgotten the details of my face, or maybe just assume I looked so plain the first day because I was sick. Everyone believed that I went back to Phoenix because I was ill, after all."

"Bella – "

"And the only person who would _really _notice is Charlie, and he isn't going to see me."

"Bella – " Carlisle tried cutting me off again, but I was on a roll.

"And maybe it's time we let him see me, anyway. We already know we can trust him. He'll never guess what we are. And what if we say that we're all related somehow – cousins or something. I know you were worried about the humans spotting a resemblance, but that would explain it, and anyway you _know_ the humans won't look hard enough to figure it out."

"Bella!" My teeth clamped together audibly at having made Carlisle raise his voice. "I'm sorry, you were just going a mile a minute." There was a slight smile on his face and I relaxed. He took a deep breath before he spoke again. "The moment Alice arrived with you already changing, I feared we didn't have much longer in this town. I knew the responsible decision would be to spread some rumor about you in town, let everyone believe you had died, and move somewhere far away from here. But this was different, Bella, and I'll tell you why."

It didn't seem like Carlisle's story was going to end with me going back to Forks High School, but I relaxed in my seat anyway to listen to his story.

"I changed Edward and Rosalie myself when they were on the brink of death, and Rose brought Emmett to me the same way. Their human lives were over. And though, for Rosalie especially, they wouldn't have chosen _this _kind of life particularly, that was better than no life at all – I think even Rose would agree with that – and that was what I saved them from.

"That was not the case with you. Your human life was still in effect, and I imagine would have gone on just fine were it not for my family's interference. That is why I made your siblings wait to explain your absence, and why I waited until you were changed, to make sure you would be a part of the solution. If there was any way to keep your human life in tact at all, I wanted to do it, and you showed us one.

"I knew that you would come to me eventually with this question. Did I expect it to happen last week?" I smiled. "No. I expected that it would take years for you to master your thirst – not a mere six months. By then everyone in Forks High School who remembered you would have gone onto college, and your siblings would be on their respective vacations – pretending to be off at college themselves – and no one would make the connection. That situation would have been much less risky." I sighed. He was making sense.

"However, you have proven excellent control over your thirst. You've kept things smooth with Charlie and Renee, and I know how bored you were before the summer, waiting here while your siblings went off to school." If my heart could beat it would have been racing. "Before you attacked me with your deductive reasoning earlier," – I smirked – "I was going to tell you that I spoke to Charlie earlier today, and he's agreed to see you off tomorrow for the first day of school."

"What? I'm going?"

"_Surprise!" _I heard Alice squeal from upstairs. Of course the pixie had been in on it; she was the one who had talked me into coming to Carlisle again. I wasn't sure whether to give her a present or put her in a headlock as soon as I went back upstairs.

"We don't want to raise too much suspicion, so Alice is going to run you to Charlie's in the mornings so you can drive from there in your old truck. I warned him that your appearance had changed, so be considerate of him. It wasn't part of our original plan but he does need to see you, otherwise he won't be ready to respond if anyone ever questions him about your appearance."

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"

"Now remember, you're not supposed to know us, Bella. You're supposed to have spent the rest of your junior year and the summer in Phoenix, so try not to become best friends with Alice in five minutes, okay?" I beamed at him. "And remember that Rose and Emmett are supposed to be away at college. You can't slip up and mention them when you never should have met them. We still have to be careful."

"What about my resemblance? Are you sure it won't be a problem?"

"I don't anticipate it being an issue. It was my primary concern at first, but the humans here believe that most of us aren't "technically" related, and that doesn't seem to bother anyone. Our features are different for the most part, and as for the way they're the same, well," – he shrugged – "I guess they aren't looking hard enough."

In a flash I was at his side, hugging him tightly around the neck.

"Thank you! Thank you, thank you!"

His chuckle was muffled. "Not snapping my neck would be an excellent way of showing your thanks."

Abruptly, I let go. "Sorry."

"You are a real newborn in some ways, you know," Jasper said, hovering in the doorway with a grin on his face.

"I guess." I grinned back, bouncing in place.

"So, are you excited for school?" Jasper teased.

"Like you even need to ask."

He smiled. "True enough. But you do know what this means, don't you?"

I furrowed my brow. "Less room for you at the lunch table?"

"Nope!" Alice quipped, appearing behind Jasper with a bottle of nail polish in her hand.

I gasped. Rosalie's laugh was audible from upstairs. "Alice! I can't go back on my first day looking like I've had a professional makeover."

"Well, you can't go wearing what you had on last t – "

"Alice!" Rose was suddenly in the conference room, smacking her arm.

"I'm just saying," Alice muttered.

"I'll try to rein her in," Rose whispered as I headed upstairs to our bathroom for what I knew would be a long, long night.

…

With Alice getting herself ready for school and Rosalie discussing her upcoming vacation with Emmett, I was free for a while to pick out my coat and bag before it was time to go to Charlie's.

The last six months had been both good and bad; both exciting and torturous. The good had consisted of invigorating hunts with my new sisters, arm wrestling with my brothers, decorating with Esme during the day, and learning at a rate I had never thought possible. The bad had consisted of feeble excuses explaining why I couldn't visit this summer when Renee and Phil had settled in Jacksonville. Running to Charlie's at night just to check on him, but never being allowed to go inside. An endless span of hours ahead of me that I never really knew what to do with, and finally, the most awkward of all, sharing a house with Edward Cullen.

Carlisle had assured me that indeed, I _was _special. Most vampires didn't demonstrate control over their thirst so quickly. Jasper actually had a lot of experience with newborns, and promised me that I was different – that even _he_ still experienced difficulty having lived off of human blood for so long. Emmett was the one who explained what a singer was, and I desperately hoped that I'd never meet my own. I had forgiven Edward, and I'd told him as much, but there was a strain on our relationship that I didn't have with anyone else. Anytime I'd heard Charlie fighting sobs on the other end of the phone, or had to make up some stupid story for Renee, it had been that much harder to face him (and for him to face me, I imagined). Edward had promised that he would spend eternity earning my forgiveness, and aside from the small gifts he left in my room every now and then, it seemed like he felt the best way to keep his promise was to stay as far away from me as possible.

The unfortunate thing was that he was the only available vampire in this house, and the only one I might _ever _meet, as the Denali coven was apparently all female. Sure, we had run into a nomadic coven a few months ago while playing baseball in a nearby clearing – Laurent, Victoria, and James – but they weren't vegetarians. We'd exchanged pleasantries and played together for a while, and James had actually seemed sort of interested in me (which in itself was weird since he was supposed to be with Victoria). Still, I couldn't get over the fact that they fed from humans, and wasn't sad to see them go when they finally moved on.

Esme was always hinting that Edward and I should spend more time together, and Alice hadn't been too subtle about trying to send us hunting together a few times. They had probably noticed the gifts he'd sent and seen them as courtship, as I had wanted to at first. Still, he lived right down the hall! If he was interested in me, he'd ask me out himself, or start a conversation every now and then, not just leave me books and movies, and okay, _one _bracelet. He was obviously just feeling guilty about what he did, which, let's face it – he should. Edward wasn't genuinely interested in me though, and presents aside, I wasn't going to forget that and start chasing after him, even if the alternative was my forever being single.

And even if he _was _gorgeous.

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"I'm almost ready," I called, assuming it was Alice.

"It's me."

I stifled the deep breath I wanted to take, not wanting to seem flustered, and walked to my jewelry box to look busy.

"Come in, Edward."

The door opened slowly and closed gently. I peeked up at him in the mirror once, still shuffling around my jewelry unnecessarily.

"The bracelet looks lovely on you," he whispered. I stopped messing with the jewelry and turned around to face him, sneaking a glance at the diamond and sapphire tennis bracelet I was wearing.

"Thank you," I said, politely.

"The family crest as well, though you should probably tuck that inside your collar for school." I gasped. Already I'd slipped. I quickly tucked the necklace inside my shirt, smiling weakly at Edward in thanks. "Don't worry; Alice would have caught it if I hadn't mentioned it. Anyhow, I didn't come in to make you nervous."

"Too late," I teased, turning back toward the mirror to make sure the chain was hidden. Alice had insisted on a royal blue blouse with butterfly sleeves, and though the neck wasn't _very _low, it wasn't high enough to hide the chain completely, no matter how I adjusted the shirt.

"Don't worry about it, Bella." Edward rushed the words out as I reached behind my neck, prepared to unclasp the chain. "Normal girls have necklaces. The crest is hidden – you're fine."

"I know," I snapped, dropping my hands. "I'm just – "

"Panicking?" He smirked crookedly, and my witty retort went immediately out of my head.

"A little, I guess." He smiled wider, showing some teeth this time, and something tightened in my stomach. Quickly, I caught myself. "Why _did_ you come, if not to make me nervous?"

"I was wondering if you would have lunch with me today?" Before I could stop myself, I had spun around to face him, my shock apparent on my face. His expression seemed to change immediately. "As a precaution, of course," he backpedaled.

"A precaution?" I asked, trying hard to mask my disappointment.

"It would be a way to explain your bond with my family; a way to justify the relationship. Lunch today, perhaps, and then maybe again tomorrow. I could take you to school next week and of course people would assume – "

"I see," I cut him off, my voice empty.

"Naturally you would become close with Alice, then Jasper. And if we eventually stopped spending time together, no one would question it."

"Sounds like a plan," I said dryly, walking toward my closet at a human pace and covering my blouse in a gray turtleneck. It was going to be drizzling all day today, though it wouldn't be _too _cold, so I grabbed a brown, furry vest with a hood and put it on over my sweater. I'd have to hide my hair from the rain today like every other girl. When I turned back Edward looked displeased. "It's too much?" I asked, motioning to the vest.

He seemed surprised. "No, not at all," he answered quickly.

"Oh. You had a face on. I thought – "

"I just liked the blue."

"Oh," I answered awkwardly, unsure of what else to say.

"Alice is on her way up. I'll see you at lunch." And with that, he was gone.

"See you," I whispered to myself, too low for anyone else to hear.


	6. Confessions

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Confessions**

"All ready?" Alice bounced into my room, her usually chipper self, but eyeing me suspiciously as she took in my appearance. I opened my mouth to speak, but before I had the chance – "No, you're not ready," she said. "Where's your bag, Bella? And you're not wearing your contacts."

Was I the only forgetful vampire in existence? I'd meant to save the contacts for last, since they were so uncomfortable, but Edward had distracted me.

"I like how you put this together, by the way," Alice said, fingering the furry hood of my vest. "Soon you'll be getting dressed for school all on your own."

I laughed half-heartedly and went to my dresser to open a fresh pair of contacts.

"Don't forget to bring at least five extra pairs," she reminded me.

"I know," I said, pressing the first lens into my eye.

"I'll get your bag ready so we won't be late. Your boots are brown, so I'm packing this one." I could see her whipping around the room in the mirror, shoving things into the brown, leather backpack. I continued at a human pace, putting in the second lens.

When I'd finished, Alice insisted on applying my mascara, some blush, and lip gloss. She also dabbed something under my eyes to make the dark circles less noticeable.

"There," she said, satisfied. "Now you're ready." I smiled weakly. "Bella, I've been meaning to talk to you about something," she said in a whisper that I almost couldn't hear.

"What?" I mouthed, confused as to why we were whispering.

"Edward," she mouthed back.

That explained it. I shook my head. "No, no. It's fine. I get it." Not wanting to see her pitying expression, I opened my floor to ceiling window and jumped. I ran at a decent speed, yet not as fast as I would on a hunt. Alice was at my side within moments.

"We're far enough now," she said, resuming our conversation at a normal volume. "I've seen flashes here and there of things, and they seemed to be solidifying, but things seem to have taken an upsetting turn. Jazz says I should just let it happen on its own, but you're obviously upset, and why should you be when I can just say something?"

"Not all of us are psychic, Alice," I reminded her, gently. "And therefore I have no idea what you're talking about."

She flicked a leaf at me. "About Edward," she said, as though this should have been obvious to me. I scowled. "What is it, Bella? I mean, besides… you know. What don't you like?"

I broke off a small piece of branch and chucked it at her sideways. "Nothing!" I whined. "Like… literally."

"I'm not following your logic, Bella." I hadn't even explained myself yet, but began rearranging my explanation since Alice hadn't liked the one she'd just seen. "Not now, either."

"Alice, can you let me talk before you tell me I'm not making sense?"

"Maybe, if you'd stop beating around the bush!" she snapped. "Whatever you're thinking, stop being so careful and _say _it."

"Fine!" I stopped, coming to a halt with Charlie's house in sight. Alice stopped next to me. "I like him, okay?" I sighed. "I like him. And it always seems like he likes me too. But then he does something, or says something, and I see that he's just trying to make up for what happened. If I'd just joined the family like you or like Jasper, he never would have looked at me twice, so I wish he'd just…" I trailed off. "Just stop rubbing it in," I breathed. "I mean, I've been careful, but the few times I thought I had a chance I slipped, and I know he saw. He obviously knows I'm interested."

Alice smiled, of all things to do. "I wouldn't be too sure. But that's it, then? That's why you're so upset this morning?"

I nodded. "Earlier, before you came in…" I trailed off. I felt pathetic, but I didn't have to hide anything from my sisters, and it actually felt good to get this off my chest. "I thought he was asking me for real."

"Don't be so quick to make assumptions, Bella."

I sighed, thinking about what she'd said. Maybe my vampiric mask was better than I'd thought. If Edward didn't realize I was attracted to him, then he wasn't making things awkward on purpose. He was just trying to look out for me and the rest of the family, and who could blame him for that? I thanked her for trying to cheer me up and braced myself to face Charlie. I hugged Alice goodbye and got on a hiking path to make my way out of the forest at a human pace. Charlie wasn't downstairs when I approached the house, so I knocked on the door and waited by my old truck for him to come out.

When the front door opened I nearly threw myself at Charlie. This was the first time I'd been this close to him since before I was changed, and the first time since then that I'd seen him awake. His eyes bulged at first, and I remembered my appearance. I smiled weakly, trying to reassure him while he took me in. His heart rate increased by a few beats per minute as he looked me over.

"Bells?" he said, his voice strained.

"It's me, Dad."

He opened his mouth like he was going to say something else, then threw his arms around me and squeezed. I held my breath as we hugged and made sure our chests weren't touching.

"It's good to see you, kid." His voice was a bit husky, but I was used to it. Charlie's I'm-trying-not-to-cry voice was pretty much his default setting when it came to me.

"Good to see you too."

"You look… good. Different, but good. Lots of girls in the Cullen house, huh?" I nodded, not bothering to hide my confusion. What an odd question. He shrugged, then, by way of explanation, "_Somebody_ got you into makeup."

I laughed. Maybe Carlisle was right about the resemblance not being an issue after all.

"I should get going," I said. "Don't wanna be late on the first day."

"'Course. Well, uh, the truck is still in pretty good condition. Jacob came by every now and then to check up on it, just in case you came back."

I squinted. "Jacob?"

"Billy Black's boy, you remember."

"Oh, right." I shook my head. My human memories were harder and harder to hold onto, but I did vaguely remember my father's friend and his son.

"Now that you're going back to school and all, you think maybe you'll be able to come down sometime? Have dinner or something?"

"Actually, I meant to talk to you about that." Disappointment washed over his face. "No, it's not bad," I rushed. "People need to think I'm still living here. Call me when you're expecting company, okay, so I can make sure I'm here first."

He smiled. "Will do, Bells."

"Oh and, if anyone comes over unannounced…" I trailed off, choosing my words carefully. "We decided it would help explain how close I am to the Cullens if Edward and I appear to be… involved." Charlie raised his eyebrow. I shook my head. "We're not, Dad, but it's a perfect cover story. In fact, once people know Alice and I are friends you can easily say I'm sleeping over every now and then."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll try not to have too much company, though. Save you some gas. Been spending a lot of time down on the reservation with Billy, anyhow."

"Thanks."

"Alright now, off you go. Unless you want me to drive you."

I laughed. "Bye, Dad." I was careful to move slowly until I was safely inside the cab, then put the decrepit car in reverse and backed slowly out of the driveway.

One would think that immortality might cultivate patience in a person. The opposite had been true with me. With seemingly unlimited strength and speed, and with a family that had adopted a new mission statement – 'spoil Bella' – along with me, instant gratification was becoming a major theme for me. Therefore it was extremely frustrating for me to be back in my old Chevy truck as it crept along at 55mph, made infinitely worse by the fact that it wreaked of my human scent. Suffice to say – Edward hadn't been kidding.

When I'd pulled into the parking lot it took more strength than it should have to get out of the truck slowly. The roar of the engine had alerted those loitering in the parking lot of my arrival; anyone who hadn't already been staring was making up for it now as I proceeded to the main office.

I kept my head down until I'd made it to the office, then opened the door and headed inside. Every movement felt ridiculously slow, like I was walking through a dream. It seemed like forever before I made it to the front desk.

"Excuse me," I said in a soft voice.

"What can I help you with?" an older woman asked, so busy shuffling things around on the desk that she hadn't even looked up.

"I'm new this year. I was told to come here to find out my homeroom."

"Freshman report to the cafeteria on the first day," she said, still shuffling. "It's the building across from this one." She quickly produced a map from one of the many folders on the desk, plopped it at the edge for me to take, and continued her tasks.

I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry. I can see that you're very busy, but I'm not a freshman." She stopped, finally looking up at me. "My name is Bella Cul–" I snapped my mouth shut, cursing inwardly at my slip. _That's two, _I thought.

She squinted, reaching over and unlocking the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet. "What was that, dear?"

"Bella Swan," I said slowly, adding a note of irritation to my voice as though I'd repeated myself.

"Oh!" she said, her face brightening as she pulled a folder out of the drawer. "You're Chief Swan's daughter." I nodded, smiling politely. She produced two papers and handed them to me. "That's your class schedule, and the other is a list of special events for the senior class."

"Thanks," I said, already heading out the door and scanning the first page for my homeroom.

…

My first three classes hadn't been bad, but hadn't been very interesting either. I was actually excited about Creative Writing though, and had to work extra hard now, as I headed to class, to walk at a pace that wouldn't alarm anyone. I sat in the very front row in the middle of the room, putting my things down beside me after taking out a notebook. I'd begun doodling my first row of diamonds when there was a tap on my left shoulder.

"Bella? I didn't know you were coming back?" It was Jessica Stanley, the first friend I had made last year.

I smiled, pretending to recognize her, though my memory of her face was a blur. "Yeah, it was very last minute."

"I guess so. I hadn't heard anyone talking about it. Not like _last_ year." She continued to smile, but there was something off in her tone. She stared at me while she waited for my response, her eyes flitting from one facial feature to the next, a slight crease in her brow. I was about to ask her how she had been when –

"Nuh uh!" My eyes darted over to a tall, blond boy who was directly in front of me; his hands on my desk. "Bella Swan! I thought it was you," he said, gesturing toward the door where I assumed he'd first spotted me.

"It is," I said, smiling politely. It was odd – I didn't feel the least bit nervous, as though somehow my inability to blush had taken with it my ability to be embarrassed. I only felt slightly awkward, due to the fact that while I recognized the boy in front of me, I couldn't remember his name.

"Still no tanner I see," he teased, his eyes flicking about my face like Jessica's. "Did you do something to your hair?" I laughed, touching my hair absentmindedly. Alice had attacked me with a hot iron this morning, and my hair fell around my shoulders in soft, loose curls.

"A little," I replied. "I just put some product in it." I wanted to laugh out loud at the Alice-like sentence, but held back the impulse.

"Looks good," he said, nodding. At the exact moment, Jessica side-stepped closer to him and slung her arm through his.

"Yeah, it's really pretty," she agreed, turning her body toward him and putting her free hand on his shoulder as if to say, 'Mine.'

I was about to thank them when I caught a scent that would have made my heart race if it could. My casual demeanor wasn't quite as effortless and I turned my head to get a view of the door.

He wore a white collared shirt with a tan sweater over it, dark blue jeans, and brown dress shoes. His tan leather jacket was in his hand, which reminded me to take off my vest. I slid it off my shoulders and slung it over the back of my seat in one smooth motion. I picked up my pen – I liked having something to do with my hands – and turned back to Jessica and her apparent boyfriend.

The good news was that I didn't have to think of a polite response to their compliments. Neither of them was looking at me anymore. The bad news was that I could smell the person they _were _looking at getting closer by the second.

The couple continued to gape as I heard the gentle _swoosh _of denim against the hard wood of the chair, a leather backpack settling calmly on the floor. When no other sounds followed except the sound of his breathing, the couple began to compose themselves. Jessica's boyfriend leaned forward again – putting his hand back on my desk – when suddenly there was an elegant sound of someone clearing their throat.

All three of our heads whipped to my right, mine just a little faster than the other two.

"Hello," Edward said nervously. A quick glance at the couple revealed their eyes jumping back and forth between the two of us. Edward's eyes, however, were only for me.

"Hi," I said, my voice equally uncertain.

"I apologize for interrupting your conversation. I just wanted a chance to introduce myself before the start of class." He waited but I didn't reply, and Jessica and her boyfriend merely gaped at him, nodding mutely. "I'm Edward Cullen. You're Isabella."

"Hello, Edward. Please, call me Bella."

He managed to look embarrassed, though of course there was no sign of a blush. "My mistake – hello, Bella," he corrected. "Do you have a last name?" He smirked slightly, one corner of his mouth turning up just a bit, and something told me he may have overheard my slip in the main office this morning.

"Swan," I replied, narrowing my eyes at him.

Yes, he had definitely overheard. Now he was smiling that crooked smile I loved. "What a beautiful name. It's lovely to meet you."

I smiled, trying to think of an equally elegant response. While Edward waited, Jessica cleared her throat. I looked up to meet her eye.

"Sorry," she said, blushing furiously, "but we really have to get going. Mike and I," – Mike. _That _was his name, thank God! – "have Physics this period. I just came in because I thought I recognized you – which I did – so…" she trailed off, gesturing toward the door.

"Oh, of course!" I said, now feeling guilty for having held her up. "I don't want to make you late. I guess I'll just… see you later?" I felt uncertain now. These were some of the first people I'd met last year. The obvious crowd for me to gravitate toward if I'd come back to school in the same condition as last year. I knew my brothers and sisters tended to keep to themselves in their school settings. But then again, they were all repeating high school for the umpteenth time as a way to blend in with the humans. I, on the other hand, was finishing high school for real; my _first _time. No, I wasn't the same girl I had been, and in some ways it meant I'd have to be even more careful, but I wanted friends here besides my family…

I wanted to pick up where I'd left off.

"Oh yeah, definitely," Mike said enthusiastically. "We all really missed you Bella. I'm glad you're back." I smiled genuinely at the thought. I hadn't been to school a full today before, but I'd been missed.

"What do you have after lunch?" Jessica asked. "I've got English."

"Pre-cal," Mike said, "not that we won't see you at lunch, though, right?"

"Right, of course," I said. "And I have Advanced Physics after lunch."

"Me too." All of our heads turned rather dramatically to my right again. Edward had chimed in, and was now looking at all three of us, a wicked grin on his face. "In fact, why don't I walk Bella to lunch? This way she won't have any trouble finding the cafeteria, and we can go to Advanced Physics together afterward." He let it hang in the air for a moment, and then turned so that he was addressing only me. "If you'd like," he said softly, his voice like honey.

"Yes, I would." I'd somehow managed to make my voice sound calm. Thank God I couldn't blush anymore.

"Cool. See you guys at lunch, then," Mike said quickly. "C'mon, we gotta run." The words had been softer and only for Jessica. He grabbed her hand and they headed quickly out the door.

"You didn't tell me you had English this period," I whispered once they were out of sight, too low for anyone human to hear.

"I didn't, actually. But the woman in the main office was more than happy to accommodate me." He flashed his crooked smile. No blush, but _something_ rushed down my front, causing me to shift awkwardly in my seat.

"Alice spoke to me earlier," I quietly rushed, my eyes down as though I wasn't speaking to Edward. "On the run to Charlie's. She asked what it was about you I didn't like."

Edward stiffened, but continued to face front. "I see," he whispered. "How did you respond?"

"You haven't seen her yet?"

"I have, but she's been blocking her thoughts of you. Since I can't read your mind she thinks it would be an unfair invasion of your privacy. Won't you tell me? What have I been doing wrong?"

My breath hitched. The way he'd asked, it sounded like…

_Don't be stupid, _I reminded myself. _Just answer the question. _"I told her that it wasn't that I didn't like you, not at all." My whisper was even more rushed as the teacher entered the room. "I was upset because in your effort to help me adjust, you constantly put yourself in my path in ways that, at first, seem to be something else."

"Something else?" he asked, almost silently.

"Courtship," I replied, staring down at my desk.

"Good afternoon, everyone," the teacher said, standing in front of the room. My eyes still on the teacher, I steeled myself and decided to just get it over with.

"Edward, there isn't anything I don't like about you. I tried to hate you. I couldn't. The truth is that I'm very attracted to you." I gripped my desk for support as the embarrassment raced through me. I wanted to get up and run away. Obviously I couldn't. I was stuck here, pretending to listen as Mrs. Katz went on and on about the joys of expository writing. I started again, concentrating on making it look like I wasn't moving my lips. "I thought you knew – you remember my impulses. How I would have to fight myself to keep from touching you when I was first changed. I thought you were deliberately putting yourself in my way. Alice told me not to make assumptions, so now I am confronting you about it. It's uncomfortable for me, okay? As much as I know you want to make amends by helping me, please respect what I've said. Lunch is still okay with me, but perhaps it would be better if you switched out of this class… and Advanced Physics, if you can manage it."

With the exception of the couple talking about cutting class three rows behind me, and Mrs. Katz handing out a worksheet for our first exercise, there was silence.

"Now, each of you has a worksheet," she said, proceeding back to the front of the room. "Here's what we're going to do. When I say, you're going to pair up into teams of two. You'll write your name and your partner's name on your worksheet. You and your partner will choose a topic, and together you'll write a creative short story – at least three whole paragraphs. Only one of you has to write the story, but I want you _both _working on it, alright? When you're done, you'll staple your worksheets together and hand them in."

"Can we use extra loose leaf if necessary?" My head whipped to the right. Edward had been the one to ask the question, his face innocently smooth as he awaited the answer.

"Of course, Mr. Cullen. Are you… sure you're in the right classroom? I didn't see your name on my list." She turned to her desk, presumably reaching from her attendance folder.

"A last minute change, Mrs. Katz."

"Well it's always a pleasure to have you in class." She smiled at him. "Alright everyone, choose your partners."

I looked hesitantly to my right. Edward had already moved his desk next to mine. The room became nosier as people took the opportunity to chat. Chairs and desks dragged against the floor, screeching unpleasantly. I sighed, shaking my head to rid myself of the noise.

"Alice was right," Edward said, at a normal volume. "You shouldn't make assumptions. Neither should I have, it seems. I rely so much on my… extra hearing… it turns out I'm not half as perceptive as I thought I was."

I nodded, my eyes down. "Well at least now we understand each other," I muttered.

"I'm not quite sure we do." I met his eyes. He looked… different. His face was less withdrawn than usual. He looked anxious. No, wrong word – excited?

"What do you mean?" I said, my voice a mere whisper.

"Try to keep your voice up, you're unnaturally quiet."

I cleared my throat. "Sorry." My 'human volume' felt like yelling.

He smiled. "It's alright. As I was saying – I'm not quite sure we understand each other. Bella, you _do _realize that I'm just a little over a hundred years old, don't you?"

"Yes!" I said, offended. Of course I realized that. I knew of everyone's history going as far back as their human life – except Alice's, of course, since she didn't remember her human life herself.

"I left you all the things I thought you'd like. I left notes with every gift. In every note there was an invitation to come and see me. You never came."

I squinted at him, confused.

"No, no, you're right," he said. What? I hadn't said anything. "You _did _come. You came to thank me." I couldn't help but giggle at the way he'd misinterpreted my facial expression. "But you never stayed. I'd always had something ready just in case. A jigsaw puzzle – I like those. I thought of inviting you into the living room once for a piano lesson. I thought you'd like that."

I couldn't believe my ears. Was he serious?

"I never dreamed you didn't understand what it meant. I thought you'd simply been turning me down. When I realized you'd be coming to school I saw an opportunity and I couldn't resist. I knew you'd agree to lunch with me if you thought it would help hide the truth; you'd do it to protect us all. I figured it would buy me time. A few conversations – maybe you'd come around. I hadn't wanted it to come to that, but you looked at me with such… _horror_ when I asked… I found myself desperately saying my excuse."

"Oh, my God," I said, aloud. "I'm an idiot."

"So am I, it seems." His voice was gentle.

My thoughts were racing. "You don't know a surprised expression when you see it?"

He threw his head back in laughter, his eyes squeezed together. The sound was musical. I sighed. Surely this wasn't happening. Surely I didn't have a chance with him. This was Edward. He was just… he was so… perfect…

When he composed himself he met my eyes. "Don't you know twentieth century courtship when you see it?"

I grinned. "Apparently not."

"Perhaps you need more exposure then?" He reached across to my desk, placing his hand over mine.

"Perhaps," I whispered, all the while praying I wasn't the first vampire to ever fall asleep, and that this wasn't a dream.


	7. Visitors

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Visitors**

"Just watch what I do and try to follow," Edward said, gracefully running his hands across the keys in an elaborate scale. I studied his fingers, intimidated.

"Both hands?" I asked.

"We'll start with the right hand for now." I reached timidly toward the piano, then pulled my hand back. "Oh, not this," he rushed, pulling his hands away as well. "I was only warming up."

I quirked an eyebrow. "You don't really…_need _to warm up…do you?"

"No" - he smirked - "but old habits die hard."

"Century old habits," I muttered. He elbowed me in the ribs. I nudged him back.

"Owwww." Edward flinched away, rubbing his left side. "Newborn," he scolded.

"_Awwwwww,"_ Alice crooned from upstairs.

"Shut up!" I hissed, but couldn't quite hide my grin.

When he'd finished pretending to warm up, he demonstrated the first thirty seconds of the song I was meant to learn, which I immediately identified as Clair de Lune, by Debussy. Upon interrogation I admitted that, no, I wasn't extremely familiar with classical music; I was only able to name the few songs that Renee had frequently played back in Phoenix. I imagined that the number of songs I could actually recognize _and _properly identify had decreased significantly since my change. As it happened, though, Clair de Lune was one of my favorites.

One of Edward's too, he'd told me.

Edward played the left hand of the song while I played the right. The left hand usually went first, and sometimes both hands played chords together. Our fingers moved side by side in an almost call-and-answer, each note building up to the moments when we'd softly play together. I was in the heaven I'd thought impossible to reach as an immortal. When I'd learned the first thirty seconds, Edward suggested that we take a break.

"If it were eighty years ago," he said, "I'd have offered you an iced-tea or lemonade, and perhaps some cookies. None of those things would interest you now, of course."

I smiled sadly. The thought of human food still _did _interest me, to be truthful. I often thought of getting a snack – a piece of fruit, or a handful of pretzels – eating popcorn while watching a movie, or relaxing in my reading chair with a cup of tea. Of course if I got anywhere near those things now, they wouldn't even smell the same.

"Bella?" I'd been daydreaming. I lifted my chin, meeting Edward's eye. "I suppose we could go through the motions if you'd like. I'll even eat a cookie if you wish, though I wouldn't advise you playing along – you'll have to spit it up later."

My answering laugh was like a bark. "Seriously?"

"Oh yes. I'm surprised no one mentioned it to you."

"_We can't enjoy food since we're dead," _Rosalie muttered from upstairs, her voice thick with sarcasm._ "But we _can _suffer through swallowing it only to heave it back up. Would you like me to impress you with a demonstration?"_

"Rosalie," Edward growled.

"_That's how you sound." _She sneered. _"Why even remind her of food? She still misses it. It's obvious. Or can't you imagine what someone might be feeling without picking it out of their head." _

"Rose." The firm voice was Carlisle's. The muttering from upstairs ceased, but Edward's expression remained tight and withdrawn.

"If that's how you feel," he shouted, suddenly, "then you take it up with _her_. Say what you will if you absolutely must, but for now, if you please, would you _shut up! _I dealt with your selfish musings for nearly half a century before Emmett without a single word. If you can't keep your thoughts to yourself, the least you could do is make yourself scarce."

"Who on Earth are you arguing with?" The deep voice literally froze me in place. I hadn't even smelled another vampire until now, when I deliberately inhaled and let the smell sweep into my nostrils and down my throat. I must have been so focused on the exchange between Edward and Rosalie. In fact, I might have been holding my breath.

I turned my head slowly now, though I already knew who I would see behind me. Though my nose confirmed he was the only one here, I was still surprised, in a way, to find him there alone.

"James," I said, my voice barely audible.

"How lovely to see you again, Bella," he purred.

…

The afternoon had been awkward to say the least. Though James's visit was unexpected, it was not unwelcome, and no one seemed to have a problem with his stopping by unannounced…with one exception; Edward seemed unusually bothered by his presence, and determined to make the recent shift in our relationship apparent. This didn't bother me at first. After all, I was thrilled at finally – I guess…dating? – Edward Cullen, and felt a certain satisfaction at having him broadcast it. What bothered me was the effect it had on James. I would have thought Edward's new demeanor would have discouraged James from pursuing me. In reality…

"So, Bella," he whispered, placing his hand at the small of my back. His fingers lingered there, closing tightly around my waist, as he applied a gentle pressure and led me in the direction of the conference room. "By now I'm sure you've noticed I'm…well…interested in you?"

I cringed; the way he'd said _interested _he could have been talking about an entrée on a steak house menu.

"Um, James, thank you. I'm flattered, but actually Edward and I have just started to – "

"Edward?" He looked over his shoulder as he spoke, eyeing Edward, who was still at the piano in the living room, a smug expression on his face.

"Yes, Edward," I said, trying to sound stern.

"I see. Well surely Edward wouldn't object to a little" – he looked me up and down – "friendly competition. Or perhaps, we could even – "

Edward slammed his hands onto the keys of the piano, and, with a feral growl, launched himself at James. Before I could decide whether to get out of the way and let them fight or put myself between them, Edward had thrown James across the conference room. I was instantly amazed at what my time in the Cullen house had done to both my reflexes and my priorities. Rather than being horrified that a visiting vampire was flying across the dining room, my first instinct was panic – for the dining room table. Following his trajectory, I smacked James out of the way of the long table that Esme so loved, causing him to crash into Edward's piano instead.

I shrugged, giving Edward an apologetic face.

"I've a backup one." He winked. "Don't worry, Bella."

James was on his feet and between us in a flash. I gaped at him. I expected that he would leave now, based on what had just happened. Instead he crept toward me slowly, smirking at Edward as if daring him to challenge his actions. He reached for my hand, lifting it gently to his lips. It took every ounce of strength I had not to throw him somewhere else myself.

"It appears I've overstayed my welcome. Another time, Bella. Perhaps we could go for a meal or something?" I didn't answer. I kept my lips tightly pursed, biting down on the inside of my mouth as his lips brushed the back of my fingers. When he was finally finished with the polite gesture he'd managed to make perverse, I firmly yanked my hand away, placing it at my side.

"Good afternoon, James," Edward said, through his teeth.

"Lovely to see you, Edward." He glanced at the piano pointedly. "Let's do it again sometime."

And then he was gone.

…

"You're making this into a bigger deal than it really is," I said, picking up the last rogue piano piece and bringing it outside to the garbage. Edward had already assembled the backup piano – an exact duplicate of the first – but sat idly at the bench, not touching a single key. "Edward?"

"It is a big deal," he muttered, almost to himself. After the 'incident' earlier, most of the family had gone to hunt. Alice stayed behind for some reason, but was currently at least a mile or two from the property – out of earshot.

"I don't see how. He's interested in me – so what? I don't want him. I want _you_. End of story." From the certainty of my tone, one would have never guessed we'd only been a couple for a matter of hours.

"His interests are a bit more complicated than you realize."

"What aren't you telling me, Edward?"

He sighed, running his hands through his already messy hair. "James is a tracker." I squinted. "It's an extra ability," he explained, "one that allows him to find people easily, no matter how they try to hide. There are more like him – the Volturi, for example, employ a tracker. But James is different."

"Different how?"

"The things he enjoys…it's like a perversion of his natural gift. It would be like me – if I _could _read your mind – collecting all your secrets and using them against you."

"Cruel." I shuddered.

"Sadistic. That's what James is, Bella. The hunt is his obsession."

"I don't understand. I mean…I _do_ understand. But Edward, it's not like I'm human. He can't _hunt_ me."

"Don't underestimate him." Edward got up from the piano and left the house, jumping across the stream that separated the house from the forest. I didn't follow.

Alice entered at the same moment that Edward took off. She sashayed over to me, looking over my shoulder to peer out of the all-glass wall and into the forest.

"He left," I mouthed to her.

"I saw. You can never be too careful, though, with that one." We both snickered. "Bella, I need to tell you something." I nodded, having already suspected as much from the moment she stayed behind. Alice was always watching for the future; everything she did was calculated. "Edward isn't overacting right now. I saw what James would have said to you if Edward had allowed him to finish his sentence. Obviously he picked it out of his head."

"What was he going to say?"

She sighed. "He was going to ask if maybe Edward wouldn't mind sharing you."

"Ugh." Disgusting. For a split-second I wondered whether this was the truth, or something Edward had asked Alice to tell me in order to bring me over to his way of thinking. In the next split-second however, I remembered the once-over that James had given me before he'd spoken, and decided that what Alice was saying made sense. Besides, it wasn't as though James hadn't been flirting with me all afternoon. Only something as extreme as this would have caused Edward to resort to the measures he had.

Alice nodded. "He's sick, Bella. And I'm afraid his interest in you was only piqued by Edward's reaction. I would…be careful for a while, okay? I can't see James's future clearly for some reason, but I suspect he's up to something."

"Thanks, Alice." I started to reflect on the evening when I suddenly remembered something. "Oh, Alice! Before James came in, Edward was yelling…_something _at Rosalie. What was – ?"

"I thought you'd want to know," Rose said, casually leaning in the doorway behind me as if she'd been there all along, "so I hung back too."

I shook my head and we all began to giggle. I loved my sisters.


	8. Complications

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Complications**

Things were different now; harder. The carefree life I'd enjoyed since I'd been changed was taking an odd turn. Becoming a vampire had opened up a world of freedom that I'd have never experienced in my human life, even after I'd turned eighteen, gotten a "real job", and moved out of my parents' house. All of a sudden I found myself back in that old, childish mindset. I wasn't being protected from the dark, from the vague, uncertain dangers of the world, or from imaginary monsters under my bed. There was a sadistic vampire hunting me, watching me from a distance, somehow managing to keep his location a secret from our mind reader and our (almost) psychic.

All of a sudden, I was prey again.

Mornings were different now. Charlie, Carlisle, and I had a long talk the night of the mini-fight with James. All Charlie needed to hear was that I was in danger and that I shouldn't travel alone, and he'd signed off on the new plan. Edward drove me to and from school every day. Either he or Alice escorted me to every class. When we were home, if it wasn't Rose coming into my room and asking for "beauty time", it was Alice reorganizing my closet, Jasper asking for a chess game, or Emmett looking to arm wrestle. They tried to be stealthy about it at first, but when Carlisle came into my room one night because he was "just wondering" if I'd like another family history chat, I'd gotten the message. James was closer than anyone wanted me to know – I couldn't be left alone.

The night of my birthday, everything changed. It didn't have to – Alice had planned a huge party for me and invited Charlie. I was the one who had insisted that it wouldn't be right for Charlie to be attending his daughter's birthday party at another family's home. I would go over to Charlie's alone, just for a few hours, and we would have a quiet "dinner" together. I would be safe for one night, I'd insisted.

I had been wrong.

The minute I approached the house I could smell him. I instantly panicked, running to the door as fast as I could to make sure my father was okay. James was standing in the doorway, a smug smile on his face.

"Bella," he whispered. "We meet again."

"Where's Charlie?"

"Inside. Preparing…" – he sniffed – "I _think_ it's food." One long drag of air and I could smell tomatoes and the hint of another smell…a burning smell.

"He's burning spaghetti," I mumbled to myself, feeling sad that I wasn't here to cook anymore. When I remembered my surroundings I looked to James, but was surprised when I didn't see the sly smirk I'd expected. His face had softened some, as though he was trying to read my expression. "What?" I asked, though I wasn't sure why.

"You're upset," he said, shaking his head. "I don't understand. You weren't going to eat…" he trailed off, still searching for meaning in my expression.

"He's my father," I explained. James was still squinting at me. "He can't cook for himself. He doesn't manage a lot of things on his own. I was helping him with that before. I can't now."

"You feel guilty." It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"Well, Bella, this life is complicated. There will be disadvantages, but the benefits outweigh them by far. You knew this when you chose," he said, his voice softer.

Now I was the one who was confused. I stared at him, anxious for an explanation. What did I choose? Suddenly I wasn't looking at an enemy. It wasn't my birthday, and I wasn't keeping my father waiting. His words had somehow hit a nerve without my fully understanding, and all I wanted right now was to know what James was getting at.

"You look confused," he said.

"I am. I knew _what _when I chose? Chose what?"

"To join the Cullens. To become a – "

"No!" My voice was sharper than I'd intended.

"Bells? That you?" Charlie's voice rang out just as something (a spatula, I guessed) clanked against the floor. Why would he need a spatula for spaghetti?

"Coming, Dad," I called. "Dropped my purse."

"'Kay."

I opened my mouth to speak to James again when I suddenly realized what the spatula might be for, and why he'd taken it out in such a rush that he'd dropped it. "Dad, did you stir the pasta?" I called. James gave a knowing smile. Oddly, I smiled back, shaking my head.

"Uh…" he muttered to himself, too low for me to hear – or it _would _have been, if I was human. I didn't answer. The sound of the faucet turning on made me smile. He was adding water to try and break up the pasta. Good thinking.

I turned my attention back to James. The spot in my chest where my heart should have been beating was burning. I worked hard to calm my breathing now that I had nothing to distract me from why I'd gotten so upset.

"You were saying," he coaxed, and he sounded…genuinely interested.

"I didn't choose this," I said. My voice was even; my chin was high. Somehow though, standing in the doorway of my father's house while he struggled to make us a simple dish, I couldn't keep the sadness out of my voice. I actually watched James's mouth drop open as he looked toward the kitchen where my father was anxiously stirring, and then to me. "It was an accident. One of them…"

_Your boyfriend, _my conscience sharply reminded me.

"…slipped. Carlisle saved me." This was different. I'd never told anyone the truth before. There was the story we had for Charlie, and then the story we told to all the Cullens' friends – I was a new member of the family. No one had ever heard _how _I had come to be a Cullen myself. Feeling relieved to finally be telling my story to another – well, maybe not human being, but – person, I pulled down the collar of my shirt and turned my neck for James to see. There on my neck was an extremely light scar. Lighter than any of Jasper's; almost impossible to see, even for vampires, unless you knew what to look for. I saw it when James spotted the bite mark. "Carlisle tried to suck the venom out. He tried for a while. It stayed concentrated on the spot long enough to leave a little scar. It was too late though, and eventually he had to let me change."

"Bells, I think I got it," Charlie called out. "You got your purse and all that together? You can come in, you know."

"I have to go," I whispered.

James nodded. "I'll wait for you. Walk you home?"

I smiled. "Okay."

And I meant it.

…

As I approached the property that night, there were a thousand different thoughts racing through my brain. For one thing, I could already hear Edward on piano, playing some somber tune that told me Alice had snitched on me. There would be no need to tell him that James had followed me to my father's, or to tell him I hadn't minded. For another thing, I wasn't sure how the family would react if I invited James in, or how James would react if I didn't. Happily, he read my hesitation.

"Still not welcome, eh?"

I shrugged. "You did wreck my boyfriend's piano last time."

He cringed a little when I said _boyfriend_, but quickly composed himself. "Only because you threw me into it."

"Only to stop you from breaking my second mom's favorite table," I countered.

"Because _your_ Edward threw me into it," he said with a sneer.

"Because you were thinking rude things about me."

His eyes popped open wide. "He told you?"

"Alice." I heard her pixie laugh from the house and grinned. I was so focused on the sounds coming from the house that I didn't see it when James's face changed at the sound of her name. By the time I'd regained my focus his face was composed. "The answer is no, by the way."

"No, what?"

"No, I won't be shared. And for the record, should you ever have any more questions as to what will and won't be done with me, I'm the one you'll ask." The sound of the piano stopped abruptly. I ignored it. "Clear?"

"Crystal clear, Ms. Cullen. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, James."

He bowed in an old fashioned manner which I understood to be a joke – he didn't quite possess the natural graces of my siblings – and ran off into the woods. I turned toward the property and headed inside at a human speed. I would need all the time I could get to think of what to say to Edward, who, from what I could tell, was pacing not a whole foot inside the doorway.


	9. Interrogations

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Interrogations**

"Well?" Edward was waiting not a foot inside the door, just as I had suspected. He had stopped pacing as soon as I came in, his hands placed tensely on his hips as he awaited my response.

"Well?" I countered.

"What was that?"

"What was what, Edward?"

He sighed. He squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand, and supporting that arm by crossing the other across his chest. This was Edward's signature move – he was wound pretty tight.

"You go out – something all of us agreed was ill-advised – knowing full well there was a sick vampire out there, hunting you. You seem to have left with some comprehension of what that meant. Then you come home and you two are what, friends? What happened, Bella? He's dangerous, or have you forgotten that?"

"We talked. He's not so bad." Edward scoffed. "What? He isn't. He saw how upset I was when I got to Charlie's and realized he'd burned our dinner. I explained to him how I was changed – "

"Yes, I saw that."

Oh, right. Alice. "Well then you know that he was very understanding. He was genuinely interested in talking to me. Maybe you were wrong. He seems fine with just being friends – "

"He's _not _fine with it. You're doing exactly what he wants you to do right now. Can't you see why he was so interested in how you were changed?" I squinted at him. "I changed you against your will. He's using that to drive a wedge between us."

"I didn't even tell him it was you."

He exhaled deeply. "And what was all that about, 'should you ever have any more questions as to what will and won't be done with me, I'm the one you'll ask'?"

I was temporarily thrown by the fact that he'd quoted me verbatim, and in a very good impression of my voice. When I'd taken too long to reply, he raised his eyebrows pointedly.

"What about it?" His mouth literally popped open. "Oh, I see. You think you own me, Edward?" I sneered. "I saw the way you acted when James first came over. I thought you were trying to protect me. Protect _me. _But now I see – you thought you were just defending what was yours, didn't you?"

"That's not it, Bella. I do not see you that way." His voice was softer now. I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"Okay. Well if that's the case, you understand why I told him that. My choosing to be with you…it's _my _choice. If I ever made a different choice, that would be up to me. Not you." He looked like I'd slapped him. "Edward, I'm not saying I want that. I'm just saying – "

"I understand," he mumbled. "I'm going upstairs." I took a step forward to stop him, intending to reach out and touch his arm. I would tell him not to go, to stay with me and watch an old movie or something – anything but go to "bed" angry. But before I could move a muscle he was gone, and when the sound of his door slamming was accompanied by a few structural creaks, I decided against going after him.

I plopped down on the couch, willing one of my siblings to come down and rescue me. Like magic, Emmett was downstairs, turning on the flat-screen. Jasper was immediately at his side with the X-box.

"Tekken?" Jasper drawled, his voice soft.

"I'm Asuka," I said, by way of confirmation. I held my hand out for a controller, using the other one to brush the underside of my eyelid (I couldn't cry, but it was habit, and my eyes stung). Emmett plopped down next to me as the game keyed up. He leaned in to nudge me, then put his lips to my ear.

"I know it sucks," he whispered, only for me, "but you're right. I'm glad you stood up for yourself, li'l sis. He'll come around."

I sniffled, nudging him back. Jasper sat down on the other side of Emmett. I smiled, knowing this meant he expected me to win – to take Emmett's controller first. Emmett and I picked our characters and started round one of what promised to be a long night of video games.

Later that night (or rather, the next morning), Edward opened my bedroom door and came in while I was lying in bed, reading in the dark. Hoping to resolve our earlier talk, I put my book down on my nightstand. He took a few tentative steps toward my bed. Then, in a flash, he was on the bed with me, his body hovering just over mine.

"Edward?" My question was merely a whisper.

He didn't answer me with words.

My brain should have still been buzzing with our argument earlier. If it had been, it may have registered that perhaps Edward was still trying to mark his territory, just using another means. As it happened though, my brain was practically useless, my body humming with energy instead as Edward's firm, yet somehow soft lips moved with mine, his body slowly easing down until it pinned me to my bed.

I hadn't expected this from Edward. Though he didn't look it, he was about a hundred years older than I was. The customs and traditions of his time differed so much from mine, and though it wasn't too out of place in my time, a man of his time usually didn't get into this position with a woman into well later in their relationship.

I parted my legs without even thinking about it, if only to allow Edward to settle against me more comfortably. He kissed me deeply, surprising me further by running his hand from my knee to right below my bottom, his fingers splayed. He allowed his nails to slide along my leg (which was bare, as I was wearing a sleep shirt with Piglet of Winnie the Pooh on it, and panties) as his fingers traveled back down, grasping my knee in order to hitch my leg around his waist. I was completely lost in his touch, drowning in his sweet scent. He'd been keeping our kisses polite, however intimate, but I needed more. My teeth found his bottom lip and I pulled. He growled.

I took it as a sign of encouragement.

His lips parted now, I introduced his mouth to my tongue. I'd never done this before, and the invasion felt awkward and silly at first, until our tongues met. Then suddenly I understood the purpose perfectly. He tasted even better than he smelled, and I couldn't help biting down on his lip again. His reaction was a deeper growl. I released a little moan, something my body did without my permission. The leg around his waist tightened, leveraging my weight as I moved my hips against him, then away, and then back again. I had no idea what my body was doing, but it felt perfect to me, so I let it. Our kiss deepened and Edward unexpectedly took my top lip between his teeth, pulling gently. My hips reacted of their own accord, lifting enthusiastically off of the bed, somehow managing to find the angle that would drive his arousal against my sweet spot. Some odd combination of a moan and a gasp escaped me.

Edward's reaction was both instant and unexpected. He slid his hand forcefully up my leg and under my shirt, cupping my bottom with his hand. He lifted it off the bed, pulling my hips tightly against his as he ground into me, a low growl rumbling in his chest.

_Too fast, _my conscience warned me. I had never even kissed a boy before – what was I doing?

But then he moved his hips again, hitting that spot, and something tightened in my stomach.

"Ungh." The high pitched, breathy sound was so explicit; so animal. So unlike any noise I'd ever made before. I knew I should say or do something to stop whatever was happening, but my hips were in passionate disagreement. They rose again to meet Edward this time as he circled his toward me.

_Oh, God. _"Ah!" I cried. Something was happening. There was a building heat gathering in my fingers and toes, a tightening knot in my stomach. A very warm, very tense pressure on my…

Edward moved his hips again.

"Shit! Edward." This growl from him was the loudest yet. The hand that wasn't squeezing my ass for dear life ripped my panties clean off. I was so eager, so _desperate_ for what would come next that I didn't think twice about what he'd done. I felt his fingers come to rest on my hip and felt myself shiver in response.

Just then, Edward stopped kissing me. His rhythmic grind against me came to a halt that was just as sudden. His hand around me loosened. He hovered over me panting, and I was his mirror image beneath him. Cautiously, I lifted my chin, nudging his nose with mine. He didn't move away, but his expression tightened as though he were in agony.

"Edward?" My voice was breathy and shaking. I was extremely aroused and terrified at the same time. Had I done something wrong? "What is it?"

He didn't answer. For a moment it was actually quiet – absolutely quiet. In the next moment I remembered where I was, and what I was.

"_Jazz, I get it, but there hasn't been enough time for her to adjust. Just wait."_

"_I can't wait, Alice." _

_Oh, goodness. _Their voices were so different from the way they sounded when they were speaking to me. It wasn't hard to imagine what was happening. And that wasn't helping my predicament any; Edward still hadn't moved.

"_Jasper," _Alice whispered, not sounding nearly as firm as she had a moment ago._ "We can go somewhere. We can – " _

She gasped. There was the unmistakable sound of tearing fabric, then sounds that, if I had heard them on TV, would have quickly made me change the channel.

"It's me," Edward said. I didn't respond. I had been so wrapped up in the noises coming from another part of the house.

"What?" I whispered.

"'What is it?' you asked. It's me. Taking advantage of you this way."

"What? Edward! You're not. I'm not…I've never…" I trailed off, not exactly sure how to say this. "I've never done this with anyone before," I started.

"Exactly," he said, his voice cold and barely audible.

"But I want to. So, _so _badly. Can't you tell?" I lifted my hips, hoping to seduce him into picking up where we'd left off, but he was frozen. He hadn't moved an inch.

"You're so young," he whispered, almost to himself.

"What are you talking about? I'm seventeen – you're seventeen."

"You're a newborn. This isn't you, Bella. This is instinct. Your body wants this – not you. A few more months and you may not feel the same. I couldn't do that to you."

"But you'd do_ this_ to me?" I countered, referring to my arousal, trying my best to sound sexy. I immediately regretted my word choice. His face went from slightly chagrined to full on anguished in an eighth of a second. Determined, I grabbed his wrist, pushing his hand down off of my hip…lower.

"Bella, stop," he breathed, but I ignored him. He fought to pull away, but my being a newborn was good for something. Finally I'd gotten his fingertips where I'd needed them to be and, slowly, cautiously, let him feel what I was referring to. He hissed.

"That," I whispered, then grazed his earlobe with my teeth. Another hiss from Edward. "Please. I want – "

"You're so wet." I let go of his wrist, because Edward swirled his fingertip around my entrance once, then began dipping it inside a little at a time. "Jesus, Bella."

"Please," I whimpered. "Please Edward, I want you." I reached between us, getting a good grip on what I wanted. _Oh, my._

But Edward froze.

"No, Bella, I can't. Not tonight." His finger was still primed at my entrance. I pushed my hips off the bed, letting him slide inside me. We both gasped. "Fuck, Bella."

"Mmmmm," I said aloud. "He curses."

"Bella," he almost whined, positively exasperated. "This isn't right. It's much too soon." But he was sliding his finger in and out of me, even as he protested.

"I can curse too, Edward," I breathed. "Want to hear?" I didn't have to work now to sound sexy. I was gasping and moaning out every word.

"Bella, please. I just want it to be right. I want it to be worthy of you. Of what you mean to me…" I felt my muscles clenching around him. I was getting closer to what I'd been feeling before, and wasn't listening to a word he was saying.

"You know what I want, Edward, don't you?"

"Bella – "

"I want you to fuck me."

"_Oh, shit," _Emmett chuckled from somewhere downstairs, sounding amused and impressed.

Edward hissed, sliding another finger inside me. "Ah!" I cried. His thumb began circling my clit furiously, even as he hovered over me, panting, still clearly struggling with himself.

"You don't mean that." His voice was a labored rasp.

"Ungh. Don't I?" I breathed, grinding my hips into his hand.

"You're only saying this because you're – "

"Ungh!"

"Because I'm – "

"Ah! Edward!"

"Because… Fuck!" He sucked in a breath. "You're coming."

"Oh, God!" I was shaking, clinging to Edward with every body part I had while heat rolled through my body. I felt my juices flowing out of me at a rate that was unprecedented. Edward's hand must be soaked.

He continued to circle my clit with his thumb, as though to soothe me, as I continued to shake, my nails dug into his shoulders as I clung for dear life. Every now and then a feeling almost as intense as the first would rock me, and my hips would buck against his hand. After a few minutes my body began to relax…almost too much. I let go of him, my limbs sinking into the bed as though I weighed…well…depending who you asked I might really seem to weigh a ton.

"Bella," Edward whispered. He kissed my cheek gently, then my neck, then my collarbone as I lay there, just panting. The circles on my sweet spot had stopped. "Feeling better, love?"

And just like that I was alert again.

"What?" Though my voice was just a breath, my alarm was still apparent.

"Are you feeling better? Now that you've – "

"No," I said. "I mean – yes. I feel…but no, I wasn't talking about that." Edward's brow furrowed. "What did you call me?"

His eyes went wide.

"You called me _love_…didn't you?"

"Yes," he whispered.

Neither of us spoke. I didn't dare breathe, afraid to interrupt him while he was apparently in deep thought. He seemed to be debating something, staring at me without really seeing. I could tell when he was truly looking at me again. His eyes met mine, and I knew. I knew what he would say before the words left his lips; I knew that I'd repeat them right back.

"_Finally," _Alice breathed from downstairs. I ignored her.

"Bella I…" Edward removed his hands from all places on my body that one could deem inappropriate. His hands found my face, and he gently brushed my hair back toward the pillows. "I love you," he said, slowly and deliberately, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I know," I whispered, at about the same moment I realized that I wasn't surprised, but relieved that I was finally hearing what I must have known somehow for months. "Edward," – I smiled at him – "I love you, too."

…

"So?" Emmett nudged me suggestively while I picked out my jewelry. I felt more relaxed than I had…ever…and had felt secure enough to wear a dress today. I chose a black turtle neck (so I could tuck the family crest safely away) to wear underneath a sleeveless grey dress, black tights, and black suede ankle boots. There was no denying that Alice was an infectious disease. Goodbye, holey sweats; hello La Perla.

Rosalie had already teased me earlier, coming in on the pretense of pulling my hair into an artful bun on top of my head. "A little treat from back in _my _day," she'd said, before commenting that I apparently needed no help with _some _things. Hardy-har.

Alice had come in insisting on doing my make-up, but during she'd apologized for not leaving the house with Jasper last night. Apparently everyone had been sneaking to the woods to have their…relations…since I'd moved in, not wanting to make me uncomfortable. Who knew I'd be the first to break the rule.

I pretended to have no idea what Emmett was talking about as I picked up a small velvet box that hadn't been on my dresser when I'd taken a shower. _Edward, what have you done?_

"Oh, c'mon, you're not gonna try and play coy _now?_ My li'l sis is a tiger!" Emmett nudged me again. "Who knew?"

"Emmett!" I whined, popping the box open. _Oh, God. _"Oh, wow," I breathed.

"Damn." Emmett's voice was breathy as well. Inside the box were two large diamond studs. I had studs in my jewelry box already, but these were on a completely different level. One might cover my whole earlobe when I put it on – would have probably made them sag eventually if I was still human. I tilted the box this way and that, watching the muted light from outside reflect on them. Surely they couldn't be…

"You don't think they're…they can't be…" _Real _was the word I was searching for. Emmett raised his eyebrow and I could practically hear him thinking, 'c'mon.'

"They were my mother's," Edward said, his soft voice coming in from the doorway. "Like them?"

"They're exquisite." I couldn't bring myself to touch them. They were too… "Edward," – I turned to face him – "I couldn't. They're too much. And they were your mother's?"

"She would've loved you," he said, suddenly in front of me and taking out a diamond while I held the box helplessly. He placed it on my ear before I could object, then had the other one in place before I could think of the words to stop him. "Gorgeous," he said. Somehow I knew he didn't just mean the earrings.

"Edward, this is…" I started to tell him it was really too much, that I just couldn't accept, but the joy on his face stopped me. "Thank you," I whispered. He kissed me.

"It took Rose a long time to do her hair, ya' know," Emmett said, taking his exit.

"Emmett," Edward growled, through lips that were still kissing mine.

"I'm just sayin'. Don't mess it up."

"Emmett," I scolded. He shut my door, but his laughter remained just as audible. I couldn't help giggling too.

Edward's lips moved to try and kiss my neck, but my turtleneck got in the way. He growled, protesting at the offensive fabric. "Are you wearing this today deliberately to torture me?"

I laughed. "The crest is easier to hide in high collar shirts."

"It's a pity no one can see your necklace," he purred. His voice made me freeze. There was a little trace of suggestion there that I was beginning to recognize.

"Edward, no. You've already – " He silenced me with a kiss.

"Those were your birthday presents. Your first vampiric birthday demanded something special. But after last night…" he trailed off, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a thin chain, with a large, heart shaped crystal hanging from it. He gently turned me toward my mirror. I'd seen enough old movies to know that this was the part where I held up my hair, and wouldn't have done it to give myself time to protest, but thanks to Rosalie my hair was already off my shoulders. Edward reached around and secured the necklace. It was almost a choker, but somehow was _just _loose enough that it fit around my turtleneck. "A symbol of how much you mean to me," he whispered, kissing my ear when he was finished speaking into it.

My eyes were stinging. The eyes in my reflection got lighter and lighter as the excess venom burned through my contacts. I would need to put another pair in before school.

"We're different from humans, you know. Not just physically, but emotionally too." Apparently Edward was taking full advantage of my time without contacts. If I had been human, I'd have tears streaming down my face, destroying the makeup Alice had artfully applied. "Humans can fall in and out of love. There are the rare cases of unrequited love that some of them never quite get over, but time heals all wounds for them. As time goes on their memories fade, and with those memories, their feelings – out of sight, out of mind, as they say. Life goes on.

"This is different. I will never forget what it felt like to kiss you for the first time. I will never forget the sound of your voice, whispering my name as I touched you." I wouldn't forget either; I shivered at the memory. "I will never forget the details of your face, when you…" he trailed off suggestively, biting my earlobe. _Oh, Christ. _"I'll always remember the first time you said you loved me."

Thank God I couldn't cry.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered, my voice shaking.

"That's the nineteenth time since you said it that first time." I smiled at his gentle teasing. "I've never felt anything like this before. You've changed me, and, because of what I am, it's permanent. I know you feel strange about the gifts." I nodded. "Don't. Bella, you are my life now. What's a few diamonds compared to what you've given me?"

I gasped, touching the enormous heart hanging from my neck. _Another diamond?_ "My biological father must have been very generous. My biological mother – her jewelry box was just full of them when I came to collect our family keepsakes. One day, perhaps…" He trailed off, as though deciding whether to say what he'd been thinking. Then, "Perhaps I'll present you with the most important one."

And then he was gone, and I was staring in the mirror, overwhelmed and glistening in jewels that had been cut and set before my grandparents were born.

...

I climbed into the passenger seat of the silver Volvo, placing my black leather bag on my lap. Edward shut my door, then zipped around to let himself into the driver's seat. He put the key in the ignition and started to press the switch in the car that opened the automatic garage door. He paused when he saw me.

"You aren't wearing anything over that?" I looked down. _Crap. _I'd forgotten a coat. He snickered when he registered my shock. "Honestly, Bella, are you the only forgetful vampire?"

"You distracted me," I whined, already opening the car door to run upstairs. I placed my bag on the seat, left the door open, and sped upstairs to my closet, already knowing which leather jacket I'd choose.

"_No hat, Bella," _Rosalie yelled, as Emmett's jeep pulled away with the rest of my siblings inside.

"Okay, okay." I donned the jacket as I tried to consider an alternative. It _was _getting chillier – that is, I'd noticed my classmates wearing fall/winter accessories. Maybe earmuffs?

There was a tap on my window.

I looked over to see James perched outside. I waved him in, if only so he wouldn't lose his footing and end up damaging the roof (though I knew that was impossible).

"What are you doing?" I hissed, reaching into one of the compartments in my closet (it was a big closet) and finding some black, furry earmuffs.

"I came to see you before school," he said innocently.

I laughed. "Obviously. I meant why? And why through the window?"

"I figured, you know…with Edward – "

"It's not like he doesn't know you're here, James. He can hear you." He knew what I meant by _hear_. "And if he didn't know you were at my bedroom window before, he knew the moment you saw me."

"True," he said. "So why hasn't he come to stop me?"

"Stop you from doing what?"

James shrugged. "I don't know. He's not…you know…jealous?"

I smirked involuntarily, images of last night flashing through my mind. "He doesn't have any reason to be." I could practically hear Edward smiling from the garage.

"I see why that might be. You sounded pretty pleased last night."

I gasped, turning to glare at him. "What? You heard?"

"I linger." My immediate reaction had been disgust, but James made a kind of innocent face and shrugged, and I felt myself laugh. It wasn't that big of a deal, was it? After all, hadn't the whole house heard? "I only stuck around in case he yelled at you for walking home with me. In case things got ugly."

I raised an eyebrow. "You were going to come to my rescue?"

"Apparently you had more than enough assistance last night."

Edward revved the engine.

"Goodbye, James." My voice was heavy with sarcasm as I turned to leave at a human pace.

"If I were him," he whispered just for me, as though Edward wasn't still hearing his thoughts, "I would have given you what you wanted." I froze, whipping around to look at him with shock. "He was a fool to say no."

The engine revved again. Fuck human speed. I sped downstairs, got into the Volvo, and slammed the door unnecessarily hard. I hadn't bothered to ask James to leave my room. What was the worse he could do…besides rifle through my underwear drawer?

I cringed.

Edward had been right all along, and I had been naïve. James had only been softening me up last night, but his goal was still the same. He wanted to get between me and Edward.

Apparently, he wanted to get between more than that.

Edward sped out of the garage and onto the winding road that led to Forks. I didn't remind him about the speed limit the way I usually did. I played with the strap of my leather bag until the car came to a screeching halt at the first available spot in the parking lot. As soon as the engine cut, Edward was opening my door. His actions were no less gentlemanly than usual. He offered his hand to help me out of the car; his arm was slung around me as he escorted me to my first class. His face was tense the entire time, however, and his hold around me seemed tighter than usual. We stopped when we'd reached my classroom, and Edward turned me to face him, his hands gently resting on my shoulders. Nowhere near the warmth he had shown me earlier, he placed a chaste kiss on my forehead before heading in the direction of his own class.

Neither of us spoke.


	10. Port Angeles

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Port Angeles**

I had fucked up. There was really no other way of putting it. Edward hadn't picked me up after my first class as he usually did. Instead, Alice met me, because Edward had gone home to do what Edward did best – sit in his room and brood.

I sat in Creative Writing, hyper aware of the empty seat to my right. I wasn't surprised he'd gone home early, that he didn't want to face me just yet. If I had been in his place, I'd feel the same way. Probably the only reason he came with me to school in the first place was to make sure I was safely away from James.

James wasn't at the house, of that I was sure. He knew he'd crossed a line, and Edward had already demonstrated the shortness of his temper. I was relieved because I didn't want them fighting, but angry at myself at the same time. If I hadn't wanted anything to start between them then _why _hadn't I listened when Edward told me James couldn't be trusted?

I'd spent the last three periods asking myself if I was attracted to James, on _any _level at all. I'd badgered my subconscious over and over, but couldn't find anything unusual. Was James good-looking? Sure he was, but not unlike Emmett and Jasper, or even Carlisle, and I wasn't attracted to _them_. Even with the temporary improvements on his personality, he hadn't been nearly as agreeable. And even if he had been, even with a sparkling personality, even if there _had _been just the teeniest bit of a physical attraction, there was Edward. Even if I _had _felt...something...there wasn't anyone or anything I would ever want more than Edward, and I had never wanted anything to come between us. I'd allowed James to do that, for whatever reason, but at this point it was safe to say that the reason wasn't about James.

So then what?

_Fine, _I said in my mind, as the nagging thought I'd been having all morning tugged at me. I was lying to myself. I knew the true reason I'd been so stubborn and difficult about James. Yes, I'd known it was far-fetched to think that after clearly displaying an inappropriate interest in me, James would be after my friendship. But I'd _wanted _to believe it, because everything had finally been perfect before he'd shown up causing problems. My family trusted my control over my thirst, and hadn't been worried about where I was all the time. I could go on spontaneous runs if I wanted, without anyone tagging along or without even saying I was going. I could finally go places in public in _Forks_ because I wasn't pretending to be in Phoenix with my mom. I could visit Charlie. Things were almost back to normal.

When James had shown up, the big white house had started to feel like a prison again. But if everything was okay with him, things would go back to normal. If James became my friend, and then eventually patched things up with Edward and became _his _friend, all the extra security would stop. No more late night invasions of my private time, no more escorts to and from school, and to and from _class_. I'd be allowed to see Charlie again whenever I wanted, not just when I begged on my birthday. Things would be perfect again.

I shook my head at my own stupidity. Maybe I needed to stop reading so much fiction.

My phone buzzed. _Whoops. _I usually put it on silent for school. No one seemed to notice, which was good, and I whipped out my phone, read the text, put the phone on silent and had it back in my bag before anyone was the wiser.

The text had been from Rosalie. She and Emmett had gone to the mall after stealthily dropping off Alice and Jasper, and they wanted to know if I needed anything, or maybe something for Edward. In other words, they were suggesting I give him a sorry-I-was-a-big-stupid-idiot present.

On the one hand, I didn't want to give Edward a present _as _an apology. Besides the fact that it just wasn't me, it wasn't right. Edward and I would sit down and discuss this matter properly, and I would express my regret like a mature human – well, no not really – being. On the other hand, our relationship was _way _out of balance in terms of who had given what to whom. First there was the little matter of the little presents that had found their way into my room while he'd been courting me. Then there was the matter of the earrings. Even if I wrote that off as a birthday gift, there was still the matter of the necklace, and finally, there was the matter of the orgasm. Even in our physical relationship, I was lagging behind.

The trouble was that Edward had had unlimited time and unlimited funds for longer than I could conceive. I held down a chuckle as I remembered a scene from Breakfast at Tiffany's (one of the DVD's Edward had gotten me) and imagined going in to buy Edward a sterling silver telephone dialer. _For the vampire who has everything. _

I tried to think of something I would want, something that time and money couldn't necessarily guarantee me – something rare.

And then it hit me.

**BELLZ:** Need a favor…

Despite the fact that he was positively disgusting, James _had _been right about some of the benefits of being a vampire. I listened to the lecture even as I texted Alice, moving too quickly for anyone to see. My phone was on silent now, but the phone apparently still made a noise when new messages were received – the noise was just too low for humans to hear.

**PIXIE: **Yes.

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. Alice must have looked ahead to what I had decided to ask her, and hadn't bothered wasting data costs.

**BELLZ: **After school. Tell Edward?

"Miss Swan? Which of the two sentences is correct?" The voice coming from the front of the room wasn't the one I'd grown accustomed to for this period, and was so condescending I had to fight off a sneer. Every head in the room turned anxiously toward me, probably expecting me to be made an example of. Unfortunately for them, I'd read Rosalie's text book for this class last year while I was bored at home.

"The one with the semicolon." My voice was confident…almost a bit bored. I couldn't help but smirk at the disappointment that registered on the old woman's face. The substitute teacher must have thought I hadn't been paying attention. Okay – I hadn't completely been, but I didn't exactly need my whole brain for this.

**PIXIE: **Meet after THIS class. Leaving b4 lunch.

Oh. This was news to me, but at least it meant Edward would be super surprised. With any luck he wouldn't realize the sun had come out and assume we were in school when we were actually shopping. At least, I assumed that's why we'd be leaving early.

**BELLZ: **Sun?

I quickly opened my internet app to Google some stores.

**PIXIE: **Yup. Emergency accessories in car – will be safe in store.

**BELLZ: **Thx

The substitute wasn't nearly as animated as Mrs. Katz, so class dragged; I doodled. When the class finally came to an end I had to fight not to run at full speed out into the parking lot. Alice must have left Gym early and run home to get her car because I received a text as soon as I made it outside.

**PIXIE: **Took the sports car. Meet around corner.

This was less than ideal. Though I considered myself to be a Cullen, I was still recognized in Forks High School as my human self – Miss Bella Swan. This meant that Dr. Carlisle Cullen could not call and excuse me from school on sunny days the way he did Edward and Alice. Generally if the sun was going to be an issue, we knew in advance, if only because of the weather report. Carlisle would call as usual, and I would just stay home, returning to school the next day with a sick letter carefully scrawled in Charlie's handwriting. It would be too suspicious if Carlisle and Charlie called the school the same mornings all year to excuse their children – we didn't want to draw attention to our family alliance.

This was significant today because I was already in school. Carlisle had no doubt called with some excuse for Edward and Alice to leave before lunch, but not for me, and I couldn't so much as blink without someone noticing in this school – my new-student status, coupled with my vampiric appearance, along with my dating Edward Cullen had made me a high-profile senior.

I had two choices: I could leave campus at human speed and risk being seen and accused of truancy, or I could run faster than human eyes could see. The decision wasn't difficult; with all the babysitting since James had shown up, I hadn't had a good solo run in a while.

I made sure my bag was securely shut before assuming a half crouch. _On your marks. Get set. _But before I took off, my phone made its muted sound.

**PIXIE: **Charlie called for you. WALK!

Sheesh. I never got to have any fun.

…

Alice and I arrived in Port Angeles in Rosalie's red Mercedes. Alice and I had on the necessary accessories to protect our skin form direct contact with the sun while we were outside, and Alice was clearly milking the fashion opportunity. Technically, we could have just worn big hats or hoods with our hands shoved in our pockets. A sunny day in Forks was a rare occurrence, and even on those days, it was not unusual to see residents dressed for rain if only out of habit. Instead, Alice was wearing elbow high leather gloves (as her jacket had cropped sleeves), sunglasses, and a scarf tied around her short hair and neck Audrey Hepburn style. Alice pulled it off, but I would have felt like an old lady in a rain cap in a scarf and told her as much. The alternative was a huge, black sunhat, black sunglasses, and black leather gloves. I shook my head as I caught our reflection in the shop windows – we looked like two different versions of Jackie O.

We went into the first shop that I had secretly Googled during class. I was initially very disappointed. The shop wasn't at all what I thought it would be like.

"The description said it was a rare book store," I whispered rapidly. No human ears would have been able to decipher the words, even if I had spoken them at an audible volume.

"I'm sure the books here _are _rare," she replied. The shop was…different…to say the least. Strangely, though I knew I wasn't going to find what I was looking for here, I didn't immediately leave. Alice didn't comment, though she probably knew where I _could _find what I needed. She was respecting my desire to do this on my own, and fading into the background as much as she could to give me the illusion of solitude. She was here in the role of babysitter, not personal shopper. (I couldn't very well have surprised my boyfriend if _he _had been the one to take me, now could I?)

The store seemed to be Native American owned. I smiled at the man behind the front counter as I passed, eyeing its contents. His skin was a dark cinnamon, and his once jet black hair, now streaked with gray, was long and straight, tied in a sleek ponytail at the back of his head. Though he wasn't openly hostile, he didn't seem too pleased to see me either – this surprised me. Humans were usually quite affected by my "vampiric charms" as Edward liked to call them. This was the first polite smile I'd sent out in the past six months that had not been returned. I frowned.

"Bella, maybe we should hurry up in here," Alice suggested. Her voice was low and brisk.

"In a second," I said aloud, not understanding her sudden hurry. My eyes skimmed the bookshelf. I didn't see anything I was thinking of picking up and taking home. Most of the books seemed to be very specific to this particular tribe; they were history books, or books that held legends. Interesting, yes, but not what I came for. What was really attracting me to the shelves were some of the small trinkets they held. There were several carvings out of wood and stone. I considered picking up something for Carlisle; he loved to collect art of different cultures. I started to grab an interesting wooden mask, but remembered my mission and resolved to wait until his birthday. (Edward assured me they didn't celebrate birthdays anymore but I was planning to ignore him.) After my quick scan and new appreciation for the tribal store, I was ready to leave. I turned my head to give Alice the "outta here" signal, when I spotted something that made me pause.

I allowed myself to reach out and touch the small object, my fingers gliding gently over the woven texture.

"It's a dream catcher." I jumped when I heard the warm, deep voice. When I turned, I found that I had to crane my neck to see the large boy who stood behind me. His skin was the same rich cinnamon as the old man's at the counter, but he was obviously young, while the man at the counter looked like he could be the eldest leader of whatever tribe he represented. His scent was intoxicating. It was so different from anything I'd smelled on a human before. I could hear the sure, steady beat of his heart, and I could smell the sweetness of his blood, but he smelled so much more like nature than most humans. He smelled of firewood and salt – bonfires at the beach? – and there was one other thing... Impossible, I knew, but I could _swear _I smelled the sun on his skin. His eyes were as jet black as his hair. They widened as they met mine, and he smiled. The sight was radiant.

"Hey," he said, his voice uncertain as he scrutinized my face. "Have we met?"

"I don't…_think_ so," I said, which was true. I didn't think so, but there was something oddly familiar about him. Something gave a distant tug at my memory. It was a tug I recognized, usually occurring when I had forgotten something I'd known in my human life.

"You look sort of familiar," he said. "Are you from around here?"

"Um…yeah. Well, no, not really. But sort of, yeah." He squinted at me. I laughed at my incoherence. "I meant – I used to live here when I was younger. Then I moved to Phoenix, but now I'm back. So…yeah." I was going to have to speak to the family about becoming my private charm school. For a vampire, I wasn't very eloquent.

"Phoenix, huh?" he said, smiling at me. Okay, so my jumbled sentences hadn't scared off the stranger. "I have a friend out there."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah she…I mean we _were _friends when we were little. She used to live here, too, but when her folks split up she left with her mom. Her dad's chief of police out in Forks. I see him sometimes."

I gaped at him.

"What?" He half laughed the word.

"You don't mean Charlie Swan?"

"Yeah. You know him?"

"I'm his daughter," I said, as though it was obvious. The boy's eyes widened, his grin becoming huge across his face.

"Bella?" I didn't remember him, but he clearly knew me, and I felt myself smiling anyway. "Oh, my God. I hardly even recognized you, you look so different now. I didn't know you were back!" He started to reach forward to hug me. Just then there was a loud sneeze from the back corner of the store. We both jumped.

"Pardon me," Alice said, in her brightest, high-pitched voice. _Okay. _She wasn't sick. Had she just not wanted us to hug?

Oh, right. I wasn't an ordinary human girl anymore; I had to avoid physical contact with humans. This boy was huge, and he looked like he'd have a similar hugging style to Emmett – pick up and crush. He would notice when I wasn't soft and pliable the way I should be.

Luckily, Alice's ploy had been successful. The moment had passed.

"You're so tall!" I exclaimed. He grinned, seeming to accept that I remembered him. I still hadn't placed him, but if we hadn't seen each other since we'd been kids this was an appropriate observation. He couldn't have been six feet tall when he was five. "I've only been back for about a month or two," I said casually, hoping to change the subject. I was facing the same problem I'd had on the first day of school when Jessica and Mike had approached me. Mike had been so enthusiastic, so genuinely pleased with my return. He'd known me right away, but I hadn't remembered him, not entirely. Though I felt oddly comfortable in the presence of _this _particular boy, I couldn't seem to remember him at all.

"A month or_ two? _I would have thought Charlie would have mentioned something to my dad."

_His dad. _"Maybe he did, and your dad just forgot." I was fishing. _Come on. Tell me something I can use, _I willed him.

"Maybe. They've been pretty preoccupied lately, trying to get all their fishing in before it gets too cold. And Charlie's been coming down to the reservation a lot more so I won't have to drive illegally." He shrugged.

_Reservation. Bingo._

My dad's best friend was Billy Black. He lived on the Quileute reservation not too far from Forks. He was in a wheel chair, which made it difficult for him to get around. Charlie _had _mentioned that to me when I'd come over on my birthday. I knew that the real reason Charlie had been spending so much time on the reservation was to avoid having company, so that people wouldn't notice I wasn't actually living with him – especially since I'd been on house arrest. He did tell me I may have to come over some night soon, though, because football season was starting, and Billy preferred his flat screen. He'd mentioned that Billy's son would drive him up, the same son that took care of my truck – Jacob.

"True. But football season is starting up, right Jake?" He smiled. Apparently I hadn't been as slick as I thought and he'd suspected I didn't really remember him. "You and your dad will come by soon?"

"Yeah, definitely!" I smiled at him before the moment became awkward. My mind began to wander as the implications of what I'd just done sunk in. On the one hand, I'd _had _to say what I'd said, so not to blow my cover. On the other hand, creating the illusion of living at Charlie's wasn't going to be easy with the James issue at large, and judging by the intensity of Jacob's reaction, he had his dad would be visiting sooner rather than later.

"Well," Jacob said, with 'goodbye' already evident in his tone, "I better get going. I only came in to pick up something for my dad."

"Oh, okay."

"Yeah. But I'll see you soon." He started to turn to leave, then stopped. "Hey, are you gonna get that?" He gestured to the dream catcher.

I started to say yes, but then realized there wouldn't be a point. "Maybe another time? I was looking for something kind of specific and I'm on a budget."

"Aren't we all?" I suppressed a giggle. _No, not really. _"Bye, Bella. See you soon." He waved.

"Bye, Jake."

The moment he walked out of the store, Alice made a b-line for me.

"We need to leave. Now." Her eyes met mine with intensity and determination. I didn't dare dispute. I walked slowly out with Alice, trying again with a polite smile and nod to the man behind the counter. His expression was actually cold this time, and I wondered if he'd been glaring at me that way all along.

"_Stupid,_" Alice muttered, once we'd donned our sun-gear in the doorway and headed outside.

"What's wrong?" I asked, already in a panic. "Is it James?" An unwelcome image of Edward and James tearing the house apart flashed through my mind. "What's happened?"

"It's nothing like that," she said. That was weird. She seemed calmer already. "Come on, Bella, I know the place you're looking for. They've got a bunch of limited edition books and I'll be able to tell you what Edward doesn't already have."

"Okay." She was trying to side-track me. Admittedly, it was working just fine on a part of my brain. I was instantly excited again, and pleased that I had the means to get Edward something in return for all he'd showered me with. Our relationship had started off incredibly one-sided, and I was determined not to allow it to continue that way. I allowed myself to be distracted as we walked the few blocks we had to travel to get to the next shop. The moment we were inside, however, I received a sunny smile from the female cashier, and couldn't help but remember the icy glare of the man in the tribal shop. "Alice?" I asked.

My mind already made up, she knew what I was going to ask her.

"Yes," she answered my future question, as she had a tendency to do. "There's a reason he was looking at you that way."

"What is it, Alice?" This was bad. I didn't know how or why, but somehow I just knew.

"He knows what we are. Bella…we should hurry up with the book, okay? We need to get home. There's something we're all going to need to talk about."


	11. Scary Stories

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Scary Stories**

"Wolves?" I choked. "Real wolves?"

"Yes," Carlisle said.

"Like…werewolves? Ohmygod." The last word was mostly to myself. "Is _everything _real?"

The family was assembled in the dining room, with Carlisle at the head of the table. Apparently, the man in the shop had known I was a vampire, and he'd known it because he was connected to the super natural himself.

"They're shapeshifters, technically. Or rather, the remaining members of the tribe are the decedents of shapeshifters. The ones who possessed the gene to change could change at will, unlike true werewolves, who must change every month the three nights of the full moon."

"So werewolves _and _shapeshifters." I was talking to myself.

Carlisle went on. "There are other differences as well. A true werewolf has no control once changed, as legend describes. The shapeshifters retained complete control in their wolf form. They still had their consciousness, and were able to communicate with each other somehow in order to be organized. They traveled in packs."

"You're speaking in the past tense," I whispered. "They…died out? But the tribe is still there."

"We believe the gene died out, though the tribe itself still remains. There hasn't been a werewolf – " He paused because I squinted at him. "They referred to themselves as werewolves, though it was technically incorrect. I assume they'd never met the real thing, and thus assumed they were it, and the details of wolf legends were false. Anyhow, there hasn't been a werewolf on the Quileute reservation for generations. Nevertheless, the legends of the tribe endure, and while the younger members may not realize they are actually listening to _history_ – "

"Like the one I spoke to? Jacob?"

"Yes – the older members remember the werewolves. For them, the legends are fact."

Something was missing. "What does this have to do with vampires?"

Carlisle sighed. "Our family has been back on the Olympic Peninsula for the past few years, as I told you. Before that, we hadn't lived here in – "

"Eighty years." He smiled, even though I'd interrupted him. No one else ever did, but he seemed to accept my bad habit.

"Correct. Eighty years ago when we first came here, before Alice and Jasper joined us, we were met by a pack of unusually large wolves in the forest while hunting. They knew what we were, and we quickly realized that _they'd _been hunting _us_. Thanks to Edward's ability we were able to communicate with them, as they didn't trust us enough at first to speak to us in human form. We explained what we were, and because of the different color of our eyes and the fact that we _had _been tracking elk when they'd found us, they believed us."

"Why were they hunting you?" I asked.

"Apparently the tribe had been attacked by vampires before. I imagine that's the reason the shapeshifters changed into giant wolves. It was the form necessary to defeat us." I felt the shock form on my face. "Yes, Bella, the wolves could kill vampires. It was as though they'd been designed for it. They looked like oversized wolves but they were much more. Their bodies were solid. Their claws and teeth could cut through our skin with ease. We were evenly matched, and the tribe leader knew as well as I did that a fight would end with lives lost. Neither side wanted that. So we formed a treaty.

"The terms were basically this: We wouldn't hunt humans, they would keep our secret, and we would not set foot on their land."

I nodded. "But they still don't trust us?"

"No. And it's lucky for us that the gene has died out, because now we've given them a reason not to." My eyes widened. "I'm sorry. I should have told you when you'd first been changed, but honestly, I hadn't thought of it. You hadn't been drained, and you were able to adjust quickly enough to keep things intact with your family. You're back in school now. Things worked out so well, and I just didn't think…" he trailed off.

I was worried now. Carlisle never rambled, and I'd never heard an ounce of uncertainty in his tone before.

"I don't understand."

"The treaty is very specific. Our family was made to understand that we were neither to hunt nor bite any human beings in this area, all of what was considered to be under the protection of the wolves. The treaty does not use the word kill, but _bite_."

Realization hit. "You weren't supposed to change me."

"The tribe believes our very existence is an abomination. We weren't permitted to make more of our kind, and I'm afraid, 'It was an accident' would not have sufficed if the wolves were still around."

"What happens now?" Edward asked. I didn't dare look his way. No doubt he was thinking this was another problem I'd caused him.

"Technically the treaty is broken," Carlisle began, "but the treaty was already irrelevant. The wolves are gone, and in a few generations the elder members of the tribe who remember the wolves will be gone. We can't pretend we didn't change Bella if we're confronted. The man in the store – had you seen him before?"

I shook my head. "The only ones on the reservation who know me would be Jacob and his dad, Billy."

"Is the boy's father old enough to remember?" Edward asked.

Carlisle nodded. "He may remember the wolves, yes. But he may not remember the vampires." I saw the corner of his mouth turn up a bit. _It'll be okay, _I thought. I exhaled. "The older members of the tribe knew what we were because of their heightened senses. They could smell our differences; they could hear that we lacked heartbeats. The elder members are old enough to remember us – they recognize our pale skin; our beauty. But still, they could be fooled. It was probably your flamboyant outfits that made the man at the store scrutinize your appearances."

Alice pouted.

"My point is, just like Jacob didn't think anything was amiss, Billy probably won't. He knows what _we _are, because of our name. We are the Cullen clan in their legends. Otherwise, if he saw Alice walking down the street, he wouldn't think twice about her." He smiled at me. "He won't think twice about you."

"Are you sure? What if the man in the shop asks Jacob who I am? They'll put it together."

"I don't see that happening," Alice chimed. "I've had my eye on Jacob." I couldn't help but laugh, picturing her invisible third eye. "He'll be coming to your house in two weeks for the football game, and that should go smoothly. There's always the chance that the elder – if the man even _was _an elder – hasn't decided to confront him yet. But if he hasn't already, he probably won't."

Carlisle nodded.

"This is my fault," Edward said, addressing the whole room. "If the wolves were here, we'd be at war. Worrying about the Quileute's recognizing Bella on top of the risk of exposure we know we're taking by allowing her back in school…. I've put this family in danger."

"We all know the score, bro," Emmett said. "Yeah, we probably should have moved, but we didn't. We made that decision together."

"It was the least we could have done for Bella," Rosalie added. For once, she wasn't snarling at Edward.

"We'll deal with the consequences of staying," Jasper drawled.

"If anything happens," Edward's sullen tone had endured as though no one else had spoken, "I will take responsibility. If the Volturi catches wind…if they want to end me –"

"What?" I was on my feet. My hands were on the table, and I was crouched to spring. Edward was known for his melodrama, but this was crossing the line. The wolves were gone. My cover was safe – there was nothing for the Volturi to worry about. We weren't in any kind of trouble (I hoped) but even if we _were_! For Edward to even _consider _sacrificing himself!

"And what will I do for the rest of eternity?" I shouted at him. "Knit sweaters?"

Alice laughed.

"Bella, I ended your human life. I already deserve to – "

"No. You don't." My voice was firm. He wouldn't meet my eyes, staring at the table instead. He opened his mouth to speak again. "Edward!" I screamed. His head shot up. "Shut up," I whispered, my voice and eyes both pleading. "Just shut up."

I wasn't angry, and I hoped he knew that. I was panicked and desperate, begging him to stop. I needed him to, because I couldn't handle what he was saying. I couldn't even conceive it. Threat or no threat, I would have none of his heroics. If he went anywhere, I was going too. If we died, we'd die together.

"Yes, Edward. Do shut up," Jasper said. "We'll deal with any consequences together if need be, but right now I don't see any to be dealt with. Carlisle?"

"Jasper's right. We'll still adhere to the treaty just to be safe. Nothing has to change."

The topic was closed for discussion, but the atmosphere at the table was still uneasy. Whether they were pretending it wasn't as serious as it was for my benefit, or simply hoping it wouldn't be, I didn't know. Either way, I wasn't the only one of us who knew this wasn't the last time we'd be gathered on the topic.

We dissembled after the meeting. This was the time of day for some of us to speed through our homework and otherwise enjoy our private time. Personally, though, I had no patience for my private time. When my homework was complete, I retrieved Edward's gift bag from its hiding spot in my closet and headed toward his room.

I knocked softly.

"Come in," he whispered. When I pushed the door open I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Edward was on his back, lying on his duvet. It wasn't long enough for his whole body, so his legs were stretched out on the wall beside the duvet, his body creating an "L" shape. If that wasn't funny enough, his book was lying open across his face, as though he'd given up on reading but didn't feel like putting it away. His elbows were bent, his hands resting under his head.

"Edward," I said, chidingly. "Can you see the font that close?"

I felt him smile. "I've already memorized the book."

"Oh?" I walked over to him, gently peeling _On A Pale Horse _by Piers Anthony off of his face. "What are you doing?"

"Thinking."

I sighed, pushing on his ribs to make him scoot over. He didn't make much room for me, but I was able to squeeze about a fourth of my bottom onto the duvet with him.

"You're not thinking, Edward. You're brooding." A hint of his crooked smile emerged. "I have something for you."

"A kiss?" I leaned over, quickly pecking his nose. "I love it."

I couldn't fight my smile. "Edward, sit up." I had braced myself for a slow moving, pouty Edward, but he was immediately upright. I sat back on the duvet, scooting over so that we could face each other. "Here." I set the bag down in his lap.

"What's this?" His voice was breathy.

"Well I could tell you, but that would defeat the point in having tried so hard to surprise you."

"You went somewhere alone?" Trust Edward to focus on that rather than the gift in his lap.

"Alice took me." I swatted his arm. "Edward! Open your present."

He grinned. "I rather like presents. And it's been such a long time since I've gotten one." I waited for him to reach into the bag, but he continued musing. "What was my last gift? Esme gave me some CD's a few decades ago. I hadn't played in the longest time. I think it was her way of encouraging me."

"Edward…" I coaxed.

"The Volvo, actually, was from Alice. I needed a practical car, but I couldn't seem to pick one out. Every time I came home from a dealership I'd managed to have bought another luxury car."

"Edward," I whined.

"Oh, and this case here, that holds the books _and _the music, that was from Emmett."

I reached into the bag, took out the book, and brought it down on his head.

"Owwww."

"Your present." I dropped it into his hands, smirking.

He took a moment to flash me that crooked smile that I loved before turning his attention toward the old book in his lap. "_The Beautiful and Damned_," he said to himself. He smiled, but his smile was uncertain. I knew what was troubling him, but seeing as how Alice had taken me to the store, he should have known better. "It's one of my favorites, Bella, oddly enough as I'm no fan of the classics." He sighed deeply. "It kills me to say it, my dearest, but I'm afraid I already have…"

"No, you don't. You don't have _this _version, Edward."

He eyed me suspiciously, then opened the front cover. He understood me within the first few pages.

"A signed first edition." He shook his head. "No, Bella. How much did this cost?"

"How much did _Persuasion _cost?" I challenged, before considering how that sounded. "It's not to one-up your gifts, Edward. I've wanted to surprise you with something nice. I got an idea and it seemed like the right time."

"You didn't have to spend so much."

I smiled. "Unfortunately the only Edward-like gift I could imagine was pricey. It did feel weird. It was my first time using my card. I mean _really _using it."

"I know."

"I'm still not used to the money. But you'd done so much for me already. You courted me for months without me knowing it. You've given me so much…I didn't want us to go on this way – so out of balance. I wanted you to have something that showed you how I felt about you."

"What about a nice pen?" I elbowed him. "Ow!"

"Sorry." I had to remember to stop hitting him while I was stronger.

"It wasn't that bad, actually. You'll be sorry when your newborn strength wears off, Miss Swan."

"Hey! We're not in school. That's Miss Cullen to you."

"I like to think of you as Bella Swan. The day I call you _Cullen_, well…" he shrugged.

"That's the second time you've brought that up, you know – the marriage thing." Not that he'd said it out loud, but we both knew what he was getting at.

"You say marriage like it's an infectious disease. I realize it's early but…does the idea really make you that uncomfortable? The thought of being my wife someday?"

_Wife. _I almost cringed. "It's not _that. _It's not you that makes me uncomfortable, or the idea of marrying you _someday_. It's just that I'm seventeen. That's too young for marriage."

"You'll always be seventeen," he murmured quietly.

"You know what I mean," I said, gently. "Besides, it's just a silly piece of paper. We're already tied together forever, like you said. I know exactly what you meant this morning, and I feel it too. You're a part of me now. That won't change."

"You were ready to make love last night," he whispered, finally meeting my eye. "Another permanent change." He hadn't said it outright, but I heard his point loud and clear. Sex was a big deal, except it hadn't seemed too soon last night, despite the fact that it _technically _was, because I knew we were right for each other. What difference did it make, when we'd always be together? But if I was ready to consider sex and not marriage, I was being a hypocrite. I either wasn't ready to do what I claimed I was, or was ready to do what I claimed I wasn't.

"Is it important to you?"

Edward smiled. "It's one of the only rules in my long life that I haven't broken." _Oh. _I hadn't realized we'd both been in uncharted territory last night. He was a century older than me. I'd just assumed. "I suppose it's a little late to boast my Victorian sensibilities after last night. I got a bit carried away." He brought his hand to my face, cupping my cheek. "I think we both did."

I nodded. "Maybe it did happen a little soon. But I liked how things turned out." He smirked, reminding me of my orgasm. If I could have, I would have been blushing furiously. "I meant that I'm comfortable with…some things." His brow furrowed. "Are you?"

"I can make allowances for _some_ things, if it pleases you, Bella." I didn't like that answer.

"I want to please you too," I said. "I want us both to – "

"But it's your pleasure that concerns me. I've waited long enough; I'd be happy to wait some more, my love, until we can do things properly." _In other words, until we're married. _"Don't think I didn't enjoy last night." He leaned forward, kissing my neck as though to prove his point. "I loved watching you move against me." His voice became a whisper as he continued to kiss me between his words. "Don't think I haven't imagined it. The way my name will sound on your lips;" – _kiss _– "the faces you'll make;" – _kiss _– "the way you'll taste." Of their own accord, my fingers had traced their way down his chest and begun fumbling with his belt. Somehow he'd been able to move them each time they'd gotten close to success, all without stealing the attention from my neck. "I'll make love to you when you're my wife…and only then." I sighed. "But that doesn't mean I'll let you go unsatisfied. You won't need to look anywhere but here for what you need."

And then I realized…

"James." He pulled his face away from mine, staring at me intently as though he thought I'd called him the wrong name. "This is about James."

"No it isn't." His tone was too innocent.

"Last night when you came into my room you looked so…determined. I thought I was pushing you by moving your hand – " I stopped abruptly because he'd quirked an eyebrow, trying to distract me. I would have none of that. "But you had already pushed yourself. You weren't even ready to _kiss _me."

He didn't answer me, but then, he didn't refute my theory either.

"Edward?" I prompted, the realization causing a dull feeling to simmer within me – an angry feeling. "Were you afraid you'd lose me if you didn't…?"

He put his hand over mine, presumably to calm me. By now he could tell when I was primed to boil over.

"When I first came to your room, I admit, I was feeling possessive. I let James get in my head…literally." His face was suddenly anguished and a sharp pain assaulted my heart. How had I been so stubborn before; so selfish? "He lingered on the property for a while after you were home. In fact, I guess he stayed longer than I thought, but for a while he was within my range and he knew it. He was thinking all sorts of things. That I wasn't worthy of you; that I'd never satisfy you.

"I should have ignored it, I know. But then I thought about you when you were first changed. What was the first thing you did, Bella? The first clue I had into your silent mind? Into your heart?" I could have answered, but I realized I hadn't been meant to. "You ran to me and touched me. Your hand went straight to my face, caressing my cheek," – he caressed my cheek now with his hand – "your fingers fisting in my hair." His fingers circled my head and threaded through my hair; I nuzzled closer into his touch. "You touched me on so many occasions before you could control it. And what did I do about it when I realized the reason? I invited you down to my piano and told you stories about throwing up human food."

Despite myself, I laughed.

"You're over thinking it," I told him. "I loved learning to play. It was incredible, Edward, to do anything with you, finally knowing how you felt. Of course I still had my…my impulses." I tried to say the word quietly, as though that would make it lose some of its meaning. "But I was in no hurry. I promise."

"It didn't seem that way once I kissed you." His grin was wicked.

Thank God I couldn't blush anymore. "You didn't _just _kiss me Edward. One moment you were lingering by the door, the next you were on top of me. You pressed yourself against me, and once I felt…" I trailed off, my breathing becoming heavy. The feelings from last night were rushing back, making it difficult to concentrate on civil conversation.

"Don't be embarrassed. We both know I didn't fight my body for long, either." He smiled gently at me. "I admit it – our first kiss would not have taken place right then if James had never come into the picture; if he hadn't been taunting me with threats to steal you from me. It wasn't that I wanted to claim you. I just wanted to prove…to you, and to myself, that I could give you what you wanted. Not that I didn't want you that way too, Bella, but I was afraid that if I took my time…." He trailed off, a pained expression on his face. His expression grew even tighter as he steeled himself before continuing. "I promise, I was only going to kiss you. The way I'd imagined it, it would happen like a film noir. I would kiss you passionately until we were both dizzy, tell you goodnight, and go back to my room. You would watch me leave, maybe even come after me, and I would kiss you again. I _did _hope you would tell me you loved me...maybe."

And I'd thought I was the hopeless romantic in this relationship.

"What happened next wasn't part of my plan, I swear. I never expected you to react to me quite like that. I never thought you'd be so...persistent." Persistent was a generous understatement.

"You don't have to feel however you were feeling. You don't have to prove anything to me, or him. Especially not to him. You were right about him, Edward, and I'm sorry I didn't just listen to you before."

"It's alright, Bella. I wish I had minded my temper from the start. Then I could have saved you from all of this."

I cocked my head to the side questioningly. What did Edward's temper have to do with James pursuing me? I asked him as much.

"My reaction that day set him off. He saw a challenge."

Suddenly my conversation with Rosalie popped into my head.

"Rosalie spoke with me the other day. About us."

He scowled. "Of course she did."

"She told me…she thinks your interest in me is based on your guilt. That I've captured your attention because of what you did, and not because of who I am. She warned me that you've never expressed interest in anyone before. That Tanya practically throws herself at you when her coven visits and you don't so much as blink an eyelash." His expression remained tight. "She was only looking out for me, Edward. She didn't want me to end up like Tanya, pining after someone who didn't really want _me _once your guilt subsided. I didn't think much of it at first, and told Rose as much, but now you're worrying me." His expression suddenly transformed to shock, and I realized he didn't understand my reasoning. "The thing with James. You assume his only interest in me is challenging you."

"What other reason…" He stopped. I could have sworn I heard a click. "I'll be honest, Bella. Challenging me, upsetting me, and the prospect of beating me – that is James's only interest in you. I'm not assuming anything. I've seen his mind. I've listened to the stray thoughts I can catch when he wanders too close to our property, trying to catch glimpses of you. You're important to him because you're well protected, and one of your protectors is a bit…extreme." He looked uncomfortable acknowledging the fault. "He sees how innocent you are, how _good_, and he's dying to corrupt that. He knows I'd die before I let that happen. It intrigues him. But that's all."

He put the book I'd given him beside him on the duvet, and slid closer to me, bringing his other hand to my face.

"Please don't think what you're thinking. Please don't think for a minute that I can't see who you are, or why someone besides me might want you. But he _doesn't_ see what I see, Bella. Rosalie may love you as her sister, but even she doesn't see us clearly. Her feelings are based in a jealousy that she hasn't even admitted to herself yet," he said, in an almost inaudible whisper. "I didn't want her when she was changed, and it's the only rejection she's ever experienced. She's right; I've never been interested in anyone, until now. She doesn't want to see how someone else could be more special than she is. Do you understand?"

I nodded.

"I am in love with you, Bella. Please never doubt it."

"I won't," I said, my eyes stinging. I began leaning in to kiss him, but stopped myself. His words had been so moving, I'd almost forgotten why they'd been necessary. _Almost._ "James is still a problem." I didn't want to kill the moment, but it was the truth, and not ignoring the truth was an area I clearly needed practice in.

"Yes, he is, and we'll discuss it – all of us – at a later time. Right now, though, I believe I need to thank you for my gift."

Edward leaned forward to kiss me, but I put my finger on his lips.

"What's wrong?" he purred.

"Nothing. It's just that _my_ room has a bed." If Captain Overreaction thought James could wait, James could wait.

He smiled his crooked smile. A rush of something shot down my front.

"About what you mentioned earlier…reciprocating?" I shivered at the thought of my hands on Edward. "I might be willing to try that."

He picked me up and ran to my room, slamming the door behind us. A few moments and my mind was somewhere else, but I remained aware for long enough to hear someone mutter, _here we go again. _


	12. Mind Over Matter

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Mind Over Matter**

I slipped my tongue into his mouth, my hand fisting in his soft hair. Edward had been making a sort of _purr_ing sound as my fingers had woven through the messy locks, and he hissed now as I pulled at them. I understood that we'd just discussed how we wouldn't be having sex, though he'd generously conceded to allowing me to bring him to orgasm. I realized I had acknowledged that doing it "properly" (in other words, putting a ring on my finger before putting his…well…) was important to him. One would assume, then, that I was okay with waiting.

Twenty seconds ago, I had assumed I was okay. But now that Edward was lying me back on my bed, sucking on my lips, squeezing my most sensitive body parts in his strong hands, my body was having second thoughts. In fact, a very particular part of my body objected to his reasoning all together.

Edward kissed his way from my jaw to the nape of my neck, gently swirling his tongue at the soft spot behind my ear. His warm breath tickled my neck as his smooth, wet tongue applied a soft, yet firm pressure. The feeling went straight to my clit. The tingling between my legs built as Edward's hand dipped beneath the fabric of my clothes and found my skin. He traced a gentle path from my collarbone to my breast, cupping it gently and brushing my nipple with his thumb.

"Lace?" he rasped. I hadn't been dressed for action last night. He'd destroyed the cotton panties – when he'd ripped them off – so there would be no one to attest to the fact that they'd had Winnie the Pooh characters on them. Edward hadn't seemed to mind the oversized sleep shirt that I'd been naked underneath once he'd rid me of my underwear. Tonight, however, I'd made sure that if he honored me with Round Two, he'd do more than _not mind_ what I was wearing.

_Edward, La Perla, _I thought. _La Perla, Edward. _

I felt my nipple pebbling beneath his touch as he continued to tease it gently. After our very recent conversation about maintaining our virtue, I'd imagined that this encounter would be much like the last, with me pushing forward and Edward pulling the brakes. What happened next couldn't have surprised me more.

Edward pinched my nipple, eliciting a sound from me that was almost a scream. To my surprise he didn't immediately release it. He pulled himself away from the shelter of my neck, gazing straight into my eyes as he pulled gently, rolling the hard peak between his fingers. Though I was panting, the action had stunned me into silence.

"Like that, baby?" he breathed. _Oh, my. _

"Yes," I whispered.

"Take this off." He gestured to my dress. And here I thought I'd have to coax my way out of my clothing. With his hand underneath the material, I didn't know if Edward realized I was wearing a dress _and _a top, but didn't want to risk being told to keep my shirt on once my legs were exposed. I pulled the two off together as fast as I could, not caring when I heard a few tell-tale threads pop. When I was free of my clothing, I leaned back on my elbows to gaze up at him. He was crouched on the bed, his shoulders straining against the fitted navy t-shirt he wore. I knew there was a rippled, flat stomach beneath his shirt, but couldn't see a thing the way it hung forward. I wished more than anything that he would follow my lead and take it off so I could see.

Edward sucked in a quick breath, staring at me. The stiletto ankle boots were still securely on my feet, which were pointed – a result of how tightly wound I was. My black stockings ended about five inches above my knees, and my black lace bra and panties were leaving little to the imagination.

"Let your hair down." His voice was deeper now. I didn't question his command. I pushed myself up off of my elbows, reaching up to the top of my head to remove the forty-five thousand pins Rosalie had used to secure my bun. I wasn't aware that Edward was enjoying the view that was created by my arms being raised. That is, until he dipped his head and began sucking my nipple through the lace.

I stopped moving my hands. "Ah," I sighed, allowing my head to fall back as he sucked at me gently. My hands began to fall back toward the bed, and I had been ready to ease myself back onto my elbows to enjoy him. Suddenly, he bit down. Hard. A quick, high-pitched moan escaped me.

"I didn't tell you to stop," Edward said, his voice rich with authority. "Take your hair down."

"_Whoa." _The voice was obviously Emmett's, and from the sound of it he was just down the hall in the room he shared with Rose.

"_Quiet, Em." _I did my best to drown out Rosalie's harsh whisper as I pulled out pins, along with the other sounds in the house.

"_Sorry. Just never heard him like that. Kinda thought Bella would be leading on this thing – " _His voice cut off with the cracking sound of a slap. Edward pulled the lace of my bra away with his teeth, swirling his tongue around the exposed peak as if it say, _Y__ou thought wrong._ I moaned. The sound was deep and throaty. A long lock of hair fell out from the bun and swept into Edward's face. He didn't just move it out of his way. He pulled it.

"Oh!"

"Yes," he whispered, more to himself than to me. His tongue darted out then, flicking rapidly at my nipple with his tongue. He moved it so fast I could barely even see it.

Oh, but I could feel it.

"Oh, shit," I cried. I locked my thighs together, squeezing and rubbing them to apply the much needed pressure to my most sensitive spot. Edward caught on immediately. He crawled more certainly between my legs, keeping my knees spread by kneeling between them.

"Not yet," he said. Edward reached up impatiently and pushed my hands aside, his hands whizzing around my face until all the hair in my ponytail was coiled down my back. He lowered himself again, looking at me pointedly. I obediently reached up and pulled out the hair tie. I felt my hair fall around my shoulders, the very tips of my curls tickling my back and waist. Edward ran his fingers through my hair a few times, _accidentally _grazing the tips of my breasts as he did so. He leaned forward to kiss me, tugging on my bottom lip a bit as he snaked his hand through my hair, cradling the back of my head. "You won't come until I say," he whispered against my lips. Before his words sunk in, he gave the hair in his hand a twist and yanked my head back, exposing my neck.

"Ungh!" My moan was high-pitched and desperate, but hell, I was surprised. Edward's not-so-gentle tug on my hair had hurt just a little, and my head had been forced back, his hand still holding it in place. The only view I had was of the ceiling, and I would have been uncomfortable if I wasn't being rewarded with licks, kisses, and nips along my neck. Edward was breathing heavily against me as his lips and tongue worked on my neck. When his teeth made contact, they always seemed to be accompanied with a growl.

I bent my knees, hoping to gain some friction by squeezing my thighs around Edward. Once again, he was not fooled. He placed a hand over my hips to hold them down, though I'd fought to maneuver them upward. He bit down on my shoulder, just hard enough to elicit a little _yelp_ from me.

"What did we discuss?" he growled. I felt the moisture between my legs begin to pool at his words. I had no idea where this new, authoritative Edward had come from, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying every second of his unexpected visit. I made a sort of mewling noise in response. "How do you feel?"

"Impatient," I breathed. He wasn't touching me where I wanted, _there_, and he wasn't letting me do it myself. I was desperate.

He chuckled softly.

I gasped. He was laughing at me? I moved to put my head upright, and happily he gave my hair some slack. When my eyes met his they were gleaming devilishly, and his crooked smile was more accurately a knowing half-smirk.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm impatient, too." I started to suggest that we make love already, then, if we both wanted it so badly. Somehow I knew that such a response would have resulted in my being bitten somewhere else. Luckily, another thought occurred to me.

"I didn't expect this," I whispered.

"Expect what?" But his smirk was still in place. I cautiously didn't reply. Edward slowly lowered the hand holding my hair, causing my head to fall backward again and my back to arch. My chest pushed out to him, and he took a mouthful of my exposed breast as I whimpered. "Oh, this?" he said innocently. He bit down gently. "And that?"

"Edward, please," I cried.

"Please what?"

"Please. I can't take the teasing."

His answering chuckle was even louder. "But you'll have to take it, love, because you can't have my cock."

I gasped. So did the whole house.

Never in a million years did I expect those words to cross his lips. Perhaps the less surprising thing was my reaction.

"Are you pouting?" he asked, his voice gentler. There was less sarcasm in his tone, though still, only by a little.

"Yes," I whined.

He laughed. "I can still make you feel good." He didn't release my hair. I wasn't able to see it when he slid his other hand down my front and let his fingertips graze the sensitive spot between my legs. If he'd done this outright I may have mewled at the contact. As it was, he'd been working me over for too long, and I wailed.

"Do you really want me to fuck you, like you said?" he asked. I opened my mouth to respond, but of course he chose that moment to slip his thumb beneath the lace of my panties and circle my clit. My answering 'yes' was a scream. "I want to fuck you, Bella. Feel how much." I waited for him to guide either of my hands to him, but quickly realized that both of his were full. I reached out cautiously, prepared to be met with denim. I gasped when I realized Edward's thigh was bare. I traced around to the inside of his thigh, running my fingers upward until I felt the coarseness of his hair. I followed that path, finally finding his hard, smooth and…_fuck_…dripping erection.

I gripped him tightly. I wasn't sure if I was allowed, but his answering grunt encouraged me, and I slid my hand firmly down his length. I circled the spot where his moisture had pooled, allowing it to coat my thumb. He hissed, stopping his circles on my clit.

_Shit. _I was in trouble; I froze. Edward got hold of my wrist, pulling my hand away from him. I closed my eyes, trying to prepare for what he'd do. I felt a pressure on my lips and obeyed it, opening my mouth, and suddenly he was pushing my thumb inside. Understanding his purpose, I sucked greedily at my thumb, allowing his sweet, tangy taste to coat my tongue. When I'd gotten all I could, he guided my hand back to his…cock (if he could say it, I could at least _think _it), moving my hand a few times to show me how he wanted to be touched before resuming his circles on my clit. I stroked him slowly the way he'd demonstrated, swirling my thumb around the tip a few times to coat him with his own moisture.

"Look at me," he whispered. There was slack on my hair again. I almost expected my neck to be sore as I straightened it to look at him, but of course it wasn't. Suddenly I was considering the advantages of my nature in a whole new way. Edward held my gaze and slowed his movements, gently sliding one finger inside me. My mouth fell open, a gentle moan escaping me. Just as slowly, he slid his finger out of me, brought it to his mouth and sucked. A sudden jolt assaulted my center and I shivered. Edward groaned as he sucked my juices from his finger, his eyes never leaving mine. It wasn't until he squeezed his eyes closed that I realized I had begun squeezing him harder, stroking him faster.

His eyes were open in the next moment and two fingers were inside me, pumping rapidly as though not to be outdone. Edward did not pull my hair back as I expected, but instead pulled me in, my face close to his.

He dipped his head to my ear. "You want my dick, don't you?" I moaned, thinking the question had been rhetorical. He bit down my neck, licking the spot afterward as though to soothe me. "Don't you?" he asked again.

"Yes," I breathed.

"Yes, what? Say it." I hesitated. "If you can't say it, you can't have it."

_Ungh. _"Yes, I want your dick."

"How badly?" My sounds of pleasure were not an adequate response. He protested with his teeth against my earlobe.

"Fuck!" I screamed. "Badly, Edward! I want you." He pushed his fingers deep inside me and swirled them round. "I _need_ you."

I felt him smile. "Then you know my condition."

I froze. Suddenly the tables had turned. For a second I was so caught up in how thoroughly he'd blind-sighted me that I didn't notice he'd gone absolutely still.

"Fuck." His voice devoid of lust, I understood the curse wasn't about us being half naked on my bed.

"What is it?" I asked, my voice suddenly panicked.

"He's watching." I didn't move. I didn't turn my head toward my enormous window to confirm his statement, or even move my eyes. I didn't ask who was watching us because I already knew, and I didn't bother worrying about covering myself because God only knew how long he'd been there before he was close enough that Edward could hear him.

At first I wondered why Edward hadn't launched himself through the window after him, but quickly realized he was obscuring James's view of my body with his own. Also, after what he'd told me earlier, we both knew a reaction like that would only further encourage him. That was probably why no one else was outside throwing him around.

After three minutes had passed, I'd grown tired of the quiet game. "Still?" I whispered, just for Edward.

"No," he replied, equally quiet. "Now he isn't just watching." I winced. It killed me to just lie here. I wanted to take some kind of action, but there was nothing to be done.

All at once, I hated James. I hated him for having ever passed through Forks with Victoria and Laurent. I hated him for having taken enough of an interest in me to come back on his own. I hated him for the head case that he was, and for making me the object of his twisted little game. I hated that there was nothing we could do in response that wouldn't make it that much more enjoyable for him, and most of all, stupidly, selfishly, I hated the perfect moment he'd chosen to interrupt.

_Wait._

"Edward," I whispered, my voice carefully low. "We can't stop."

"What?" His urgent whisper was not as careful.

"Shhhhh." I rubbed his back to calm him. "We can't stop. That's what he wants." Edward moved slowly, pulling his face back to meet my eyes. "He knew how close he'd need to be for you to pick up on his thoughts," I mouthed. "He wanted you to hear. He _wanted _us to stop."

"Would that be…?" He stopped, shaking his head. "No. That would be too awful for you."

I considered that. "How much would it change the way you thought of me if I admitted that knowing everyone's been hearing us…hearing their reactions…it kind of…" He smirked, and I allowed myself to trail off. He knew what I was getting at.

"I didn't expect this," he whispered, mirroring my words from earlier. "I can't say I'm not pleased at not having to be as careful with you as I thought. I may have lacked the hands on experience, but I'm afraid my ability has made me a great deal more knowledgeable than I should be. My appetite is rather…developed." Now I was smirking right back at him. "It'll be different, Bella. You know that, don't you? My family may not be completely indifferent, but none of them are thinking of how much they'd love to be in my place. Not like James – "

"He's not going to control us." It was hard to be passionate in a barely-there whisper, but I think I managed it. "Will you be able to…?"

Edward nodded. "Mind over matter. Or in my case," – he chuckled – "probably more like matter over mind. Will you…" He shook his head. "What am I saying? You'll be fine." I smiled at him, but his face was still tense. "You're right about him wanting us to stop, but I can't help thinking the alternative may be just as agreeable to him."

I huffed. "We're not going to make decisions based on what is or is not _agreeable _to him. We were having a moment, dammit, and I was enjoying it." Edward actually smiled. "Fuck James." Before Edward could comment about the irony of my word choice – "Let him watch."

Edward leaned forward and began kissing me gently. I started to wonder if our audience would affect the way he handled me, but before I could question it his kisses became urgent, harder and rougher. His fingers inside me began to move again, slowly at first, then faster and faster. I moved my hand anxiously along his length that, though it had slackened some when we stopped, became instantly firm again under my grasp.

Our kisses became more like a contest. Edward found my bottom lip; I retaliated on his top one. I nipped at him; he bit down purposefully. Edward swept his tongue into my mouth with urgency as my muscles began to clench. When he found mine he took it into his mouth and sucked hard. I shuddered, moaning loudly. I was going to come soon.

_He told me not to, _I suddenly remembered. _Does it still count? How do I even _do _that?_

"Did you like that?" Edward asked, slowing his movements inside me right before I lost control. I nodded. "Give me your tongue." I obeyed, and he sucked again, slowly working his fingers back up to a rapid pace.

My muscles were clenching again, and the feeling was fading out of my extremities. I was all ready to beg him to let me come when it occurred to me that maybe he was making me wait for him. I tightened my grip around him, my desperate movements almost violent.

He grunted. "Yes," he moaned. I fought not to drown in my own pleasure, stroking him wildly, willing him to feel what I was feeling. My eyes had closed in pleasure, but I opened them now, forcing myself to watch Edward. His head was thrown back, his own eyes closed, and he began to move his hips with my hand. I felt myself smile in relief. He was close.

I gripped him even tighter, my hand moving faster as I tapped into my vampiric speed. Edward moaned, a low and throaty sound, and brought his lips to my ear. "Now," he growled. "Come for me."

Together, we exploded.


	13. Goodbyes

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Goodbyes**

"Everyone downstairs," Edward had insisted, mere moments after we'd both found our release. I was confused at first, but I soon realized that we would both need to clean ourselves off after our intimacy, and that was not something either of us wanted to do under James's gaze. As soon as the sounds in the house all shifted to the first level, Edward had scooped me off of the bed and ran with me to the hallway. Neither of us was decent, but there were no windows here – we were safe.

"Shower," he said, meeting my eyes seriously, "then meet me downstairs."

His face was set in a grimace, the likes of which I hadn't seen since before we expressed our mutual affection. A cold feeling came over me suddenly. I'd pushed Edward into being physical with me last night, and though I hadn't had to push him a few minutes ago, I _had _pressured him into continuing under circumstances that were uncomfortable for both of us. I couldn't keep this up. I couldn't make Edward uncomfortable or unhappy on a daily basis. Just because we would always love each other – in this intense, irrevocable way – didn't mean we'd be guaranteed an eternal relationship.

I watched Edward. His posture was rigid; his jaw tight. Was I ruining us already? Suddenly my eyes were stinging.

"I knew it." Edward's voice was softer as his fingers found my jaw. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I shouldn't have agreed. Not that your logic wasn't sound, but I may have acted more out of lust that out of logic at that particular moment. I realize it was your suggestion, but still – my consideration for your comfort should have come first." I started to tell him that wasn't what was bothering me, but his finger came to rest on my lips. His eyes were intense, even a little wild. "I will not make that mistake again, Bella. I promise you." He took a deep breath and swallowed, hard. "Can you forgive me, love?"

I sighed my relief. "I'm okay. Actually, I was worried about you." His expression softened even more. It was truly a wonder to me that no tears escaped. "I'm sorry about last night. I was so inconsiderate. I pushed you when you weren't ready. You were different today, I know," – it was hard to think of the difference without smiling, let alone shaking all over – "but if you hadn't been…"

"You would have jumped me again?" I smiled, because he did. "I believe you. You should know I only hesitated because I wasn't sure of your feelings for me. I wanted to wait until I was knew you felt the way I feel."

"I do." I said it earnestly. Edward's smile became so wide, and the sight took my breath away. It was a few moments before I recovered enough to understand what he was reacting to. I felt my face harden as I remembered his…condition. "About that," I began, a challenge evident in my tone.

"Now isn't the moment," he said, and the seriousness was back in his eyes.

"That wasn't nice," I said anyway. He almost smiled…almost. "What's on your mind?"

His expression darkened. "Do you have to ask?" _James. _"We'll discuss it later, Bella. Go get cleaned up." I wondered which matter he was referring to – the marriage issue, or the peeping-James issue.

He moved to his room at a human pace, emerging a moment later with his shirt off, a towel secured around his waist. I hadn't moved. He eyed me pointedly, nodding in the direction of the bathroom I usually used as he passed me, heading downstairs to take his own shower.

The bathroom was incredibly warm. I wasn't as sensitive to temperature as I had been as a human, but while my body was indifferent to colder temperatures, it was happily still receptive to warmth. I turned on the hot water in the shower, not bothering to worry about the cold water; it wasn't like I was going to burn.

I padded into the bathroom at the same speed I would have before I was changed. This was the one part of my human routine I hadn't had to lose. Though the rest of the house took thirty second showers (forty-five seconds tops) I enjoyed the slow pace. I climbed into the shower, closing my eyes as the hot water seemed to envelope me. The pressure on the shower head was turned up as high as it would go. I liked it this way. If I put my head directly under the water, it almost drowned out all the other noises. This was the only substitute I had for the two things I missed most about being human – sleep and silence.

I took my time shampooing my hair. The strawberry scent filled the room, which was drowning in a dull, gray cloud. If I had still been human I might have suffocated. When I'd massaged in my conditioner, I grabbed the banana clip hanging off of one of the shelves and secured my hair atop my head. I reached for my freesia body wash. Esme always kept the bathroom fully stocked, and always bought the same products she'd seen when she searched my room at Charlie's. I smiled now as I thought of that.

"_It has to be done…"_

"…_dangerous…distract her…"_

"…_human blood…"_

I began humming, trying to drown out the voices from downstairs. I wasn't entirely successful, of course, but at least I couldn't hear what the relentless voices were saying now. I continued humming as I lathered up, anxious to be back under the haze of the water pressure. I hurried under the showerhead, releasing my hair and rinsing out the conditioner. I stayed under and let the water cascade down my body, rinsing the body wash away. Even after I was finished I closed my eyes again and stood there for at least five more minutes.

Immortality had transformed my former snarl of tangles to luscious curls, so a blow dryer wasn't necessary once I'd emerged, wrapping myself in a towel _and_ a robe (just in case James could see through the walls). I applied some leave in conditioner and curl cream – Alice would show up in my room and do it for me herself if I skipped it – and quickly ran a wide tooth comb through my hair. I'd used my face cleanser in the shower (I had to wash off my make-up), and now I reached for my moisturizer. I knew I didn't need it, but it came with the cleanser, so why not?

I started down the hallway toward my room, but stopped when I saw the Post-it attached to my door. I didn't need to approach my room to read it.

_Alice's room, _it said, in Edward's elegant script.

Her door was on my left. I went inside. Before I could wonder why her room had light-tight shutters – which were closed, presumably to hide me from James – I was faced with a more important question.

"Jas – ?" A rush of something swept over me, and I knew that I was meant to be quiet. He was sitting on the bed next to a pile of clothes that had clearly been laid out for me. He looked as if he was struggling with himself.

"Edward would rather I didn't," he said, his voice rushed and carefully low. "But I need to speak with you. Quickly." The almost pained expression on his face was worse when he spoke. Was he struggling to hide his thoughts?

"Okay," I whispered back, as quickly and quietly as I could. "Keep your back turned while I change."

…

Someone had protested, a piece of furniture had broken, and then the front door had slammed. I hadn't thought fast enough. My focus had been in all the wrong places until it was too late. The sheer shock of it had frozen me in place, and instead of following immediately, I'd stood statue still with my eyes closed – like an _idiot _– listening for sounds downstairs, willing to hear the distinct way he breathed.

_Meet me downstairs, _he'd said, but only to distract me. Or maybe I was wrong. I had to think that if he'd been planning this, Alice would have intervened. Maybe Jasper hadn't been quiet enough. Maybe he'd heard our conversation and made the decision, last minute.

I flew down the stairs and into the living room, headed for the front door.

"How long ago?" My voice was urgent.

"Twenty-seven seconds," Alice replied. She was referring to how long it had been since Edward had left the house, presumably to take on James on his own. From what Jasper had decided to tell me, his intentions weren't hard to guess.

"Anything?" I was panicking. I didn't want them to fight. I wasn't sure what determined a vampire's strength. I didn't know if age was relevant beyond the first year, and I didn't know whether all vampires whose strength was not enhanced by some gift (like Emmett's) were evenly matched, regardless of size. I knew that Edward could read James's mind, which should have given him an edge. But James was well aware of that, and I couldn't shake the feeling that he might find some way around it.

"I don't see anything. Not yet. That's not a good thing." I huffed. I figured Alice wouldn't be able to tell me much – James had been avoiding her _sight _all along.

I nodded at her, and though both our faces were unsmiling I was confident she'd understand my thanks. I turned toward the door, not totally surprised to see Emmett standing in front of it and looking particularly lethal.

"He told you to stop me." My voice was flat.

"It's too dangerous, lil sis. You don't know how to fight."

My eyes slid toward Jasper. "I know some."

Emmett's expression changed for an instant before he caught himself. "You'll just distract him, and then you'll both get hurt. Edward is quick. He'll be fine." He'd said the words like he'd been reading from a script. Then again, he probably was. There was doubt in his usually confident, husky voice, and I wasn't sure whether it was about Edward being safe or about the prospect of fighting me.

"Emmett, I'm going." I shook my head. "You can't stop me."

He half smiled. "The blood is wearing off." He was referring to the human blood that lingered in my system since I'd been changed. This was responsible for the height of physical strength during the first 'newborn' year. "I'll take my chances."

"Em!" I whined. I wasn't worried. I could still feel the extra strength I possessed, and after my brief chat with Jasper I was more than confident. Emmett had the advantage of his extra strength and was more of a match than anyone else in the room, plus he knew more than me. Still, I knew I could win. It was just that I didn't want to. "Don't make me," I said, quietly. "I'll do what I have to."

I pictured the rending of limbs; the chaos that would ensue when Rose intervened as I knew she would. Our relationship would never be the same if I had to stop her, too. Emmett would forgive me, but she wouldn't. Not completely. And I would never forgive myself.

I heard a snarl on my right and knew it was Rosalie without looking away from Emmett. I braced myself in response, lowering into a crouch. Emmett didn't mirror my actions. He only shook his head instead, smiling.

"Then again, Edward grossly underestimates you." I felt myself smile and relaxed my stance.

There was a deep sigh from behind me, and even though I shouldn't have turned around – just in case it was a trick – I knew, I just _knew _it was Esme.

"I'll be okay," I said, even as I turned.

Her eyes were full with venom.

"Esme!" I ran to her. I hugged her as tightly as I dared, and she hugged me back with the same intensity.

"I can't lose either of you," she said, her voice breaking. "You're both going to come home." But her voice wasn't sure.

"We'll come back," I promised her. I hoped I was telling the truth.

"Bella, something's changed." I turned to look at Alice. "I see him tracking something," she said. She meant Edward. Did that mean he was getting closer to James? "You have to hurry."

I squeezed Esme's hand and looked around the room once, meeting the eyes of every member of my family. Despite what I'd promised Esme, I found myself quietly telling each of them goodbye…just in case. I faced the door to find that its guardian had his game face on.

I relaxed a little at the sight of him. No one doubted Edward's ability to kill James. Not even me – I just felt the compulsion to be with him, to make sure he was safe, and I couldn't ignore it. They were staying behind because they weren't needed (well that, and because my melodramatic boyfriend had organized a hostage situation) or possibly because Carlisle didn't want to resort to violence just yet. Still, our family wouldn't sit back if something was really wrong. If Alice saw something, if anything bad happened, they'd come for us, Emmett leading the way. His eyes locked with mine as though he was trying to communicate this to me, and I nodded. I may not have Edward's ability, but I'd heard him loud and clear.

Once I'd communicated I'd gotten the message, Emmett relaxed his stance. "Go," he told me, firmly.

He stepped aside.


	14. The Hunt

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**The Hunt**

Once outside, my instincts took over. I wasn't only tracking Edward, I was tracking James, and the first place their scents mixed was out in the trees across from my bedroom window. This made sense. This was the last place Edward would have known James had been for certain, and he'd come here first to begin hunting him. I took a long drag of air when I reached the spot, and turned in the direction of the path I smelled – north.

I took off like a shot. Their scents diverged at some points, which at first I didn't understand. I always followed Edward's, and realized that he must have been trying to guess James's path and cut him off. Judging by their scents, he'd failed every time.

So I'd been right about James finding some way to hide his thoughts. Or maybe he'd just been so far ahead that Edward couldn't hear him.

I pushed harder. Alice said something had changed, and it was taking longer to find them than I thought. I didn't hear sounds of a fight or a struggle, but that didn't mean it wasn't happening. That just meant I wasn't close.

_Where are they? _I thought, my mind in a panic. _How far could they be?_

I was ready to pull out my cell and call Alice when the path I'd been tracking suddenly came to a stop. I stopped just as abruptly, digging my heels into the dirt to bring my mad dash to a halt. This didn't make any sense. There was a jumble of scents here – I could smell Edward and James, but there was another scent. _I sniffed. _Another vampire?

"Oh, no." I looked up, prepared to jump, afraid of what I'd find. James's scent ended here because he'd jumped into the trees; Edward's because he'd been gaining on him and followed. What he didn't know, though, was that James hadn't been alone. We weren't evenly matched. Not by a long shot.

My phone vibrated in my pocket at the exact moment I heard movement behind me. Before I could turn, I felt the heel of a foot come crashing between my shoulder blades.

I flew. I don't know how far I would have traveled if I hadn't hit the Oak that stopped me. The body of the tree split in half as I went flying through it, but it helped to break my momentum. I hit the ground hard, leaving a Bella imprint in the dirt before skidding across the woods like a rock across a pond until I finally rolled to a stop.

I was hurt. I could feel an odd stinging on some parts of my body; movement in others. I could actually _hear _my skin mending. The fact that skin had been broken in the first place was saying something. The venom stung in my eyes; my mind was buzzing frantically. A thousand thoughts plagued me, the worst one being that Edward was in danger. Maybe even…

_Focus. _Jasper's voice came to the front of my mind. I couldn't think about Edward right now. I forced myself to remember what Jasper had told me; to hear his voice in my head once more. I couldn't panic or I was going to die, and then I wouldn't be of use to either of us.

_The most important thing to remember is that if you _are _hurt, _he'd said, _to recover immediately. You don't wait until you're on your feet again to think of a counter attack. You're devising your attack before you recover – before you hit the ground if you can. They won't be expecting that. They'll be surprised, and that's when you'll capitalize. _

So I didn't get up immediately. I stayed on my back instead, where I could see and defend myself. I stayed perfectly still. A few seconds passed before I heard the creak of a branch on my left. _Get ready. _Someone inhaled. _Set. _The branch gave from the force of their spring, and I waited until I could feel the wind on my face the moment before they fell upon me.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and threw my feet upward. It was James who had been coming to attack me, and he went flying now.

_Never pause, _Jasper had warned, so I threw myself to my feet. I ran after him, pushing to catch up with everything I had. I followed his trajectory and made it a mere second before he landed, grabbing his neck and forcing him face first into the ground. There was a distinct _crack._

"Bitch!" he screamed, bringing his hand back and smacking me. The back of his hand had struck my cheek, and because I was leaning over him, his elbow had caught me in the ribs. It hurt like hell, but I didn't let go of him. I squeezed harder and brought my foot down between his shoulder blades. Hard. _See how you like it, _I thought.

James twisted and squirmed, trying to get out from under my weight. It was pointless. I could have held Emmett down like this with ease, even with my newborn strength fading. James wasn't going anywhere. He turned his head, somehow still managing to look at me with an intensity that made me cringe. He grinned at me curiously and, in the moment I took to wonder what the hell was so damn funny, he twisted his neck just enough to find my hand and bite me.

I screamed. My skin gave a deafening screech, like the sound of a high-speed car crash as his teeth broke through the skin. He bit down with no intention of letting up, and I felt his venom enter. I didn't need to think about what I could do to make him stop – instinct took care of that for me. I crushed my foot even deeper into his back and leaned forward, clamped my teeth around his ear and ripped it off of his head, spitting it out as if it was a bug in my mouth.

"You _fucking _bitch!" he screamed, reaching in the direction I'd spat out his worthless ear as if he could get it back. Free from his teeth now, I grabbed his hair and forced his face down into the dirt. _Fool me once, asshole. _

"Where is Edward?" My voice was not my own. My voice was a growl, thick with my murderous rage. Everything I saw was red, my anger coating my vision like a film.

"Let me up," he yelled, his voice thick with the dirt he was swallowing, "and I'll tell you."

"Enough foreplay," I mumbled. His ear hadn't landed that far. I had to stretch a bit to get it in my grasp, but I got it. I felt James stiffen beneath me. I tapped the back of his head with his ear using my free hand, just in case he'd thought I'd picked up a rock or something. "Tell me where he is." I snarled.

"Bitch," he muttered. I squeezed, gritting my teeth against the high pitched protests his ear gave as it crumbled in my hand. "NO!" he screamed.

"Where?" I growled.

To my horror, he began to laugh. I lifted his head by his hair and plunged it into the ground as hard as I could. The impact caused the ground beneath us to give, and the dirt scattered around us, leaving us in a sort of crater.

"I'm not going to tell you," he said, but his voice was kind of shrill, a manic edge to it. "If I tell you, you'll kill me."

Now I was the one laughing, and the sound was so terrifying even _I _was afraid. "You fucking idiot," I purred. "No matter what, I'm going to kill you. But if you tell me," – I applied more pressure to the foot in his back – "I may not kill you _quite _as slowly."

He made a noise that I couldn't interpret, but that didn't matter. All I knew was that it wasn't a location, and my patience was wearing thin.

"Fine," I growled. "You want to play games?" I shifted my weight, putting my other foot between his shoulders so that I was crouched on his back. "Let's play."

I released his head. I took a deep breath, found each of his arms with my hands and tore them off of his body.


	15. The Game

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**The Game**

His arms were in my hands, and the forest was ringing with his screams and swears. I allowed myself a moment to acknowledge that, unless they'd killed him instantly, Victoria and Laurent had not harmed Edward, or I'd have heard him. Maybe what they were hearing now would make them let him go. And if they'd…killed him – _cringe – _at least they'd know what was coming for them.

I didn't want James going anywhere, and I didn't want to expend the extra energy it would take to make sure of that while his legs were intact. I pressed his arms together, intending to try and hold both his wrists in one of my hands. The hands of his severed limbs clasped ironically together the moment they met. I laughed out loud at the fact that his own body was unknowingly helping me tear it apart, grasped the joined hands in one of mine, and reached behind me to find his ankle.

As soon as I had what I wanted, I pulled it up and yanked it over my shoulder, listening to his thigh tear away from his hip. His answering scream made me smile.

I caught myself, then. What did it mean that in some feral way I was beginning to enjoy this? Was it because he'd hurt me? Was it still about Edward? Or, deep down, was I just as sick as James was?

I shook the thought out of my head. I was losing it.

"You could stop this you know," I said, and my voice was frighteningly calm. "If you just…" I found his other ankle. "Tell me…" I tightened my grip.

"I hope he's already dead." _Wrong answer._

I pulled. He was nothing but a torso now. I threw his limbs into a pile after separating them from his hands and feet. I picked him up and set him upright, then went to sit on the other side of our crater next to the pile, facing him. Among the pile of clothes Alice had left me was a lighter, and I'd wisely put it in my pocket. A small part of me wondered if she'd known this would happen all along, or if the weapon had been given to me in the same spirit as Jasper's crash course in self-defense – just in case. I pulled the lighter out with mock thoughtfulness now, as though the idea had only just occurred to me, and watched as James's eyes widened in horror. Casually, I began to flick the lighter on and off as though contemplating lighting a candle (though really, I was contemplating why I was dragging this out). Once I believed I'd made my point…

"Where's Edward?" I asked him. My voice was almost pleasant, my words a little sing-songish.

"He's with Victoria. And Laurent." _Yes, their scents mixing with Edward's at the end of the path couldn't have confirmed that_, I thought.

"You don't say?" I sang, sarcastically. I struck once with my thumb and threw the lighter onto the pile beside me. His arms, his legs, his hands and feet – they all went instantly up in flames. I watched as the venom pooled in his eyes. Without the fire, even his crushed ear would regenerate eventually. He knew that. Perhaps the worry hadn't really hit him before because he'd assumed one of his coven members would come and rescue him. (And speaking of coven members…mine were where?) I didn't have Jasper's power, but right now I could _taste _his fear. It was only at this moment that he'd truly begun to believe I would kill him.

I, on the other hand, had known I would kill him the moment I realized Edward was in real danger. Him and anyone else who stood in my path.

"All you had to do," I whispered, "was tell me where they took him." The pile was one of ashes now, and the fire had gone out on its own. I reached into the rising smoke and retrieved my weapon. "And you couldn't do that."

I advanced on him, moving unlike I'd ever felt myself move before, even when I was hunting. I didn't walk toward him now; I didn't even stalk – I sauntered.

Despite the fear in his eyes, James ran his eyes up and down my body, and I recognized the excitement forming there, even through his panic. Enraged, I kicked him violently, targeting the only appendage I hadn't removed. I could think of other ways to torture him, slower ways, ones he rightfully deserved. But besides my pleasure, there wouldn't be a point. He wasn't going to tell me where Edward was, and I was wasting time.

I placed the lighter temporarily in my pocket and leaned over him. I gripped his hair with one of my hands and pressed his body into the ground with the other. His breath hitched.

"Last chance," I snarled at him, though even as I spoke the words I wondered what they meant. Last chance to do what, exactly? Forever be a potato? James seemed to consider for a moment, then steeled himself, his mouth forming a hard line.

My phone began to buzz in my pocket. _Alice_. Apparently his moment of indecision had been enough.

I didn't give James the liberty of parting words, and, afraid that I'd already been too long, I didn't hesitate. I ripped James's head from his body and crushed it between my hands in one smooth motion. The ashes fell on his torso and I took out the lighter, dropping it onto the heap with one hand, and answering my phone with the other.

"Yes," Alice said, and for once I thanked her Pixie butt for answering me before I'd asked.

_Edward is alive. Thank God._

I didn't bother awaiting instructions since I'd heard her when she'd spoken – not just through the phone – and began running in the direction of the sound. The closer I got, the angrier I got. I realized immediately that I was feeling Jasper. Even channeling the emotions of all the vampires around him, though, he was only _almost _as full of rage as me.

My run began to slow. I could see them now. They were standing together in our familiar clearing, evenly spaced as though they were expecting something. I skidded to a stop once I'd closed the distance. Emmett immediately rushed to me, his hands tight on my shoulders.

"Are you okay?" he asked me urgently.

"No," I growled. "But I will be." He'd begun searching me anxiously before he'd realized what I meant, his eyes frantically flickering to each of my limbs. The latter part of my answer distracted him from my body soon enough for him to miss the bite on my hand; before he could turn me around and see the tears in my clothes. He locked eyes with me for a moment as though he was trying to read my mind. I stared back at Emmett, trying to find the connection we'd had before I left the house to look for Edward. I tried, but there was a new guard that I couldn't let down all of a sudden. If Emmett realized the change, he didn't show it. Wordlessly, he pulled me toward the rest of the family and put me in what I assumed was a strategic position, returning to the spot where he'd been to await whatever was coming.

A few seconds later there were footsteps.


	16. Impatience

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Impatience**

I worried when there were only two sets of footsteps. I'd never been one for strategy; that required a lot of things that, until a few minutes ago, I hadn't had. I hadn't been the least bit coordinated in my human life – out went athletics and competitive sports. I'd never been a chess player. No, I'd sat in comfortable places with pleasant books, escaping from my surrounding, violent world with romance and fairytales.

Then again, ripping someone limb from limb and setting them on fire could change a person.

I tried to imagine what their plan might be. If it were me in the place of Victoria or Laurent, there would be two options. One: dissemble Edward, scatter the pieces too far for them to regenerate, and come with my accomplice to face the clan. Two: Come with Edward to face the clan, and let my accomplice keep an eye on things from afar, giving us an edge and a surprise method of attack if necessary. Or better still, send my accomplice and stay behind myself, that way I'd have an easy escape if things got ugly.

Relief washed over me immediately when I realized that Victoria and Laurent were both coming toward us, but with Edward in tow. There was no way to tell whether he'd been harmed or not. Not yet.

_This will be easy, _I thought, smiling.

"That wasn't smart," Jasper whispered in agreement from beside me, referring to their lack of strategy.

"What are you smiling about?" Victoria said, sneering at me. Her voice was high pitched and sing-songish, the way I'd sounded when I'd…

I pushed the thought away. Immediately after, I found myself considering the many benefits of mortality that humans took for granted – repressed memories, for instance.

"Where did they take you?" I asked.

Edward knew I'd spoken to him. "They'd been running me to Canada, or at least in that direction. There didn't seem to be any real destination." I imagined the time they'd had to run with him before I'd found their path. That explained why I couldn't hear anything.

"Did they hurt you?" I watched them carefully, but rather than focusing on Edward, their eyes watched us just as intently, flashing from vampire to vampire frantically. I realized then that they were searching for James. They didn't realize he was dead.

I wondered if my own family knew, besides Alice of course. Whatever method James had used to hide from her sight had clearly failed in his last moments, when she'd seen his plans and called. Then again, I only assumed this was the case. Maybe it wasn't James's decision she'd seen at all, but Victoria's and Laurent's when they decided to turn back. I started to tell them I'd killed their precious James, if only to make them realize how serious this was – what a huge mistake they'd made by laying even a finger on my mate – but stopped myself when I realized the advantage I had if they thought he was alive, just hurt. We could use him as a bargaining chip.

"They didn't hurt me," Edward said. "They had no desire to do that; only to get me away."

I didn't understand. I didn't need to think about what James's motive had been in separating me from Edward and attacking me. It was more than obvious. Harming Edward was consistent with that plan – this way if James had gotten his way he wouldn't have had retaliation to worry about. But keeping Edward alive and totally unharmed? What was the point in that? Why take him in the first place?

This wasn't like a human hostage situation. Edward wasn't stupid, and wasn't going to bother fighting. He knew he was outmatched, even with his ability to anticipate both of their actions, and had gone with them willingly. The only reason they held his wrists and ankles now was for fear that he'd attack with us here (at least, that's what I assumed). They slowly set Edward right on his feet, both of them keeping a hand on each of his shoulders. The message was loud and clear; they could still hurt him badly before any of us could get to him from this distance. I twisted a little, digging my feet into the ground to remind myself not to launch myself at them just yet. Jasper had begun sending out calming waves, each one more powerful than the last. This wasn't the moment to attack.

"How does it work?" Jasper said, quietly. I was quickly learning that while Carlisle was the leader of our coven, Jasper led us in battle.

"A trade," Victoria sang. Was hers the only unpleasant vampiric voice in existence? "Though not the one I suspected we'd end up making."

"Suspected," Edward said, turning to face Victoria as if she hadn't been instrumental in his abduction. "You mean you didn't know his plan?"

"James wouldn't tell us. He said our – "

" – thoughts weren't safe," they finished together.

"He remembers Alice," she said, a hint of laughter in her voice. "Didn't he tell you? From her human life?"

Alice hissed.

"Don't be angry with me, darling, I wasn't the one who hunted you while you were human. James is the one who likes those kinds of games." I gasped. Had he not done enough to torment our family? Now we were learning that James might have had something to do with Alice becoming a vampire? And she couldn't even remember her human life – she'd been alone and confused when she got through the burning. She always said that if she hadn't had her extra sight…if she hadn't seen Jasper…

My eyes stung.

"What was the point?" Alice muttered. I didn't bother telling her to stay on task, because I was just as distracted by this revelation. "Why change me and just leave?"

"Oh, he didn't change you!" Victoria said, smiling. "Your protector did. He loved you so; he knew you'd be safe as one of us. But James doesn't like losing these little games, you see, and so he killed him before you were through burning. And you were no fun once you weren't vulnerable, I'm afraid."

"So you help him?" I sneered at her. Victoria's head snapped toward me, a look of irritation on her face. "You enable his sick little hunts? You were going to help him get Edward away from me so he could have his way – "

"_What_ are you saying?" she said, sharply cutting me off. Her tone was different now. Her eyes had narrowed nearly to slits, and her voice seemed lower suddenly; her speech slower. "What do you mean have his _way_? James told me he was watching you for Laurent. That you were to be – "

"For me?" Laurent cut her off, shaking his head. "I had no interest in Bella." He turned to me, apologetically. "I mean no disrespect. You're lovely. But it was clear when we met in this very clearing that something was forming between you and Edward, even if you weren't yet joined." He turned back to Victoria, his voice lower now. "James said you were interested in Bella. In taking her on as a third."

She flinched; clearly this hadn't been her idea.

"James wanted Bella for himself," Edward said, speaking to us all. "He doesn't understand our family. He didn't realize that Bella is so important to us. Once he learned she'd been changed by mistake, he assumed we were taking charge of her only until she matured. He knew I was involved with Bella romantically, but refused to acknowledge the extent of it. He doesn't understand the concept of…" – he hesitated, but then seemed to decide on something – "…true mates."

"He understands," Victoria sneered defiantly. "We are mated for eternity." I didn't dare make the obvious refute; now was not the moment.

My eyes bore into Edward's in warning and he seemed either to understand or to have figured it out on his own. "He thought that by taking me," he said, continuing his earlier explanation, "he could force our coven into a trade – me for Bella. And since – in his mind – we would have let her go anyway, he thought we would all give her up easily."

My eyes continued to burn. My family loved me. They never would have traded me away to James's coven, would they? Not even to get Edward back…

Except…I _was _causing them problems here. My very existence was a threat to their safety. With me gone, maybe everything would have…

"Don't even think it, Bella," Edward whispered. "Don't even think it."

I sighed. "I thought you couldn't read my mind, Edward."

"I can't. But I can read your face. And Jasper can feel what you're feeling, and I can read _his _mind, and you're wrong. You are worth it."

"You are," Jasper murmured. He cleared his throat. "Now that we've got all the mushier details cleared up, I think we'll go ahead and make that trade. The new trade, that is. Edward for James. And once that's happened, by the way, we should be secure in the knowledge that we'll never see you all here again. Yes?"

"Please," Laurent said, stepping slightly away from Victoria. "I can see that we've caused you all quite a bit of trouble. I too underestimated your family's bond. I knew that Edward would mind if Bella was taken, but not _all_ of you. Still, I should not have gone along with it…with this nor so many of these games, which I'm growing rather tired of." He turned to Victoria. "I'm afraid I'll have to separate from you and your mate when this is over. He's always bringing us into trouble. I'll fare much better alone."

"Very well," she said. "Where is James?" The sing-song was back in her voice, which sounded almost bored. I tossed James's ear across the clearing. It had regenerated (for the most part) by the time I'd made my way out of the crater, and something had possessed me to pick it up on the way. Victoria's eyes widened. "The rest?" she whispered, a tremor to her voice that seemed to stem more from agitation than fear.

"You'll get the rest when we get Edward," I snapped. Jasper turned to look at me and I realized I probably shouldn't have spoken. This was his area of expertise, not mine.

Jasper cleared his throat. "Once you send Edward across the clearing, Bella will tell you where to find the rest of James. That's the deal. Agreed?"

No one answered right away. If my heart were beating, it'd be pounding by now. What if they guessed what I'd really done? What would happen to Edward? There was nothing I could do in this short distance to stop them before they did something irrevocable to him, if they chose. He could hear their thoughts, sure, but so what? He couldn't possibly manage to respond to both their thoughts simultaneously, all the while trying to aid me in whatever harebrained actions I took to save him, and _my _plans he couldn't hear.

I'd never been more impatient to see him take a few simple steps.

At least a minute had passed before Victoria took a heavy sigh and shoved Edward forward. As soon as she made the contact, he flew to me. He didn't kiss me; he didn't squeeze me in his arms. He merely stood at my side, my hand wrapped in his in a grip that would have shattered a human hand. My heart swelled the moment he was truly safe. I squeezed his hand back just tight enough – after recent events, I didn't quite trust my strength.

"Well?" The question was Victoria's.

If Jasper felt my panic, he didn't let it show. "Bella?" Jasper whispered, only for me.

I retraced my steps within a millisecond in my mind, and then quietly told Jasper how to get to the crater I'd created. He relayed the information to Victoria and Laurent. Laurent nodded to Victoria and flew off on his own before she could ask whether he'd be joining her. When the unnatural wind had passed and he was out of sight, she nodded at us.

"In a few centuries, I suppose this will all be forgotten. Perhaps we'll meet again."

"Perhaps," Carlisle said, politely.

Her answering half smile told us she knew better than to believe she would ever be on good terms with our coven again. I tried my best not to look like I knew it for certain. _Go_, I willed her. _Leave. _She flipped her flaming hair over her shoulder, shooting one last oddly flirtatious grin at us all before briefly narrowing her eyes at me, offering a quick courtesy, and darting toward the forest.

The moment she disappeared, every set of eyes in the clearing was on me.

"Okay," Jasper said, turning to me. His face was the picture of clear, slow thinking. Focus and determination. "What is it, Bella? He isn't really there?"

Simultaneously, Alice and I sighed. Now Edward would learn I was a murderer; now they all would. Now I would say what would change us forever.

"No, he's there," I told them, my eyes on the grass. "I didn't think to move the ashes."


	17. Hide and Seek

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Hide and Seek**

"Bella," Carlisle whispered urgently, appearing instantly by my side. "You didn't." I didn't dare meet his eyes.

For a moment, silence was the only response I could manage. Perhaps because of his shock and preference to deny what I'd already declared, he hadn't hidden his disappointment. The moment seemed to linger, though I realized not a full second had passed. Somehow in that moment I was able to taste the atmosphere more accurately than I wanted. I could feel Carlisle's remorse rolling off of him in waves; Esme's shock and concern. These feelings were dominant and shared amongst my siblings with a few other emotions of their own thrown in. I felt Rosalie's was concern, but I also felt her determination to defend me –she had been in my place, and had she been able on the night that had necessitated her change, she would have done the same. I felt Emmett's fear; fear that once the rage wore off I would be forever changed by what I'd had to do. And yet I felt his pride that I had been able to do it; that I'd emerged unscathed. Edward was in utter shock and felt nothing else but a hatred which I could only assume was directed, as usual, at himself. Jasper was proud more than anything, increasing every moment that I stood here managing to stay collected, if mute. He was, no doubt, the medium through which I was feeling all of this. The only one whose heart was completely free of any surprise was Alice. Perhaps the only reason that I hadn't collapsed to the ground yet in shame was the overwhelming feeling she emitted, undeniably meant for me – unconditional love.

"Did he hurt you?" Carlisle whispered? His voice was changed now; neither stern nor reproachful as I'd expected, but focused instead. I didn't respond. I couldn't. I was afraid that if I opened my mouth for a single word, everything I'd been fighting to keep under control would spill out, and though the nomadic coven had vanished for a moment, they'd undoubtedly return when they realized. Now was not the moment to fall apart.

Abruptly, the feelings of everyone else left me, as though the door that had been allowing them to flow into me had been slammed shut.

"Better?" The gentle voice was Jasper's.

I nodded.

"Her shirt is torn in the back," Edward said, his voice level and dead at my side.

Carlisle moved quickly around me. His fingers moved before I could protest or feel uncomfortable. I felt him tug and adjust the fabric of my blouse; I felt his fingers tracing and probing gently.

"Is she scarred?" Edward's voice was almost choked.

"Just barely," Carlisle said. Edward's exhale fast and loud. "Only a few thin lines, see? Where the skin regenerated. Almost invisible."

"Fully healed?" Was he hyperventilating? I turned toward Edward, trying to figure out how to check his expression without meeting his eye. His eyes were full, somehow threatening to overflow, though I knew full well it was impossible.

"Almost," Carlisle answered.

"Almost?" I squeaked. _Of_ _all the things that would make me speak._ "But _his_ ear had healed already." _His. _I hadn't said his name. Perhaps if I could avoid saying his name, if I could convince the others not to say it, and then if I didn't _think _it…

No. I wasn't human anymore. I would never forget.

"It's your human blood, still more of it in your tissues than your venom," Carlisle said, responding to the one question I'd asked aloud; oblivious to the thousands racing through my brain. "In terms of strength, the blood is advantageous, but newborns don't regenerate as quickly because of it."

He had said it matter-of-factly, not suggestively, as though he was expecting someone to intervene. Yet as though he'd been called explicitly into action, Edward was suddenly at my back, lifting my shirt while the rest of my siblings politely turned away, literally licking my wounds.

"That may help," Edward whispered, just for me.

I nodded quickly, feeling grateful that I might not scar. I didn't need another reminder. But the thought of my wounds reminded me of how I'd acquired them, and of where the cause was now. What would happen when they found him?

"I had to," I said, trying not to merely breathe the words. "I promise. For now though, shouldn't we be doing something? Should we run? They'll be back."

Carlisle met my eyes with his own which, for once, actually looked their age. He nodded slowly before turning to Jasper, who merely turned to Alice. Alice got the faraway look in her eye that meant she was seeing something that wasn't in front of her. Her brow furrowed, and she closed her eyes, seemingly concentrating harder.

"Careful," I whispered, afraid both of distracting her and of the possibility that she may not hear me. "James knew some way around it." _There goes not saying his name._

"Victoria is too crazy to be careful just now," Alice said, opening her eyes again only to stare beyond the clearing.

"They found him?"

"Just her. Laurent left her to…wait…"

Instantly, Jasper was closer at her side, his hand on hers. "What is it? What is he doing?"

Suddenly her eyes were focused on us again. "He's waiting for us at the house."

…

Alice assured us that his visit was peaceful. Nevertheless, all eight vampires were tense and guarded, coiled to spring as we stood in front of the house, Laurent waiting at the front door. He held his hands up immediately when we arrived, fingers splayed.

"Is she following you?" I said. I felt Jasper tense at my side and realized that I'd acted in his role, yet again. "Sorry," I muttered.

Jasper didn't answer.

"I've come alone. Victoria is gone."

_Gone! _Jasper had gotten even more tense – the only thing that had stopped me from screaming the word aloud.

"So," Jasper said, the slightest hint of amusement in his voice, "she does have some ideas about strategy."

"Strategy? Oh, no," Laurent said, a slight chuckle escaping. "But escape – she makes an art of it. An extra sense, I suspect."

"She knew we'd be waiting for her," Jasper said, more to himself than to Laurent. "Waiting for her attack. She's probably left to try and gain some advantage. Another vampire?"

But Laurent shook his head. "James is gone. Without me, she's alone."

"But she _is _coming back for me? Eventually?" Perhaps because of the way I'd turned toward Jasper as I asked, making it a question for him too, he didn't seem angry.

"No." I squinted hard, turning to Edward. It was him who had spoken. "No, she isn't coming for you. She's coming for me."

"Your power always catches me off guard," Laurent chuckled. "But you're right, of course. Victoria feels it's only fair."

"How would that be fair?" I squeaked. Victoria's smug face suddenly filled my head. Her flaming hair; her tight smile. The wicked glare she'd shot me when I told her James had been after me.

"A mate for a mate," Edward and Laurent said together. Honestly, sometimes Edward's power caught me off guard as well.

"You may have killed James," Laurent said, "but death would be easy for you in Victoria's eyes. She wants you to feel the eternal loss you've condemned her to. She feels it's only right that she take your mate away from you."

"But they weren't mates!" I yelled in protest. Laurent's eyes widened. "Edward? You said…"

"Victoria loved James. James enjoyed Victoria's company enough to engage her, but really her ability is what drew him to her. Laurent, too, he chose to travel with for his advantage. Laurent has a sort of likable quality to him; Victoria's escape routes are always safe. He couldn't have asked for a better team."

But James was gone now, and Victoria wouldn't get the chance to see what she was to him. He wouldn't get the chance to be caught betraying her, to abandon her for a decade or so if he ever got bored of her, or confess the truth to her in a fit of rage.

"But she doesn't know. She won't care if we tell her," I whispered, "will she?"

"Once Victoria convinces herself of something," Laurent said smoothly, "I'm afraid her mind is set. The other reason I came," he continued, "was to ask a favor. I assume you would be against my staying with you for the moment, that's understandable. But I've wondered about the way you live. Now that I'm on my own, well…this may be a good time for new and unusual things." He smiled. "Is there any advice you could give me? A place to go?"

Laurent wanted to try living on animal blood?

"There is a coven in Denali that lives as we do. The livestock is plentiful. If you find the lifestyle agreeable it would be a wonderful place to try and assimilate, should you choose." There was a note of joy that had returned to Carlisle's voice. I was happy to hear it, even under these circumstances.

"I will seek them out," Laurent said, thoughtfully. "I must go now. I _am _sorry for all that's happened here. Truly." He nodded briefly, and then he was gone.

…

The rocking chair creaked loudly if I shifted in it, and though the action served more to release my pent up tension than sitting still, I couldn't stand the intrusion of the repetitive sound on my thoughts. That is, on my mind, since the inner workings of it didn't quite resemble what one might call coherent thought. At times ideas, images, and sounds raced through it at an indecipherable pace. More often, though, the ideas, the images, the noises – they all stopped. I felt my mind slow until it eventually paused, my thoughts at a halt for moments at a time. A noise he had made would snap me out of the trance. The sound of his scream; the tearing metal sound it made when vampire skin tore…that James's skin had made when I'd torn him apart. I didn't have the energy to push the thoughts away myself, but somehow I didn't have to. I suppose psychological defense mechanisms were not affected by vampire venom, and my mind was protecting itself. It emptied for a second, then for two, then for twelve. I was learning fast. If I sat here long enough perhaps it would actually succeed in forgetting. Was that even possible? To actively forget?

One way to find out…

"Bella?" The voice from the door shocked me out of my trance, and I literally jumped in the seat, landing with an unnaturally loud bang when I landed back in the rocking chair. "It's only me," Edward said.

"I should be alone," I said, just under my breath. My fingers tightened around the arms of the chair as I waited for his response. I prayed he wouldn't be angry, for once wishing he could read my mind so that he would understand what I could barely explain. His voice alone made me want to run to him…but how could I? Even if I was able to abandon myself in blankness for a few moments at a time, all I could think about when I _did _think was what I'd done, or more importantly, how I'd done it; how it had felt to do it. I loved Edward, yes, and it made sense that I needed him. But I couldn't help but think that the impulse to fly to him was coming from a place I couldn't trust. If I provoked him, if I begged, he knew how to make me forget about all I'd just done – at least for a while. I could lose myself in his touch; I could be somewhere else. I could escape.

Edward opened the door despite my remark. I gripped the chair tighter. I didn't want to escape into Edward, or through Edward. That wasn't right. That wasn't what love making should be, or what I _wanted _it to be, for us. I wanted him to be everything; the cause and the effect, not just a means to an end. I wouldn't be running toward him now if I went, only away from something else. It was bad enough that I wasn't the girl he'd fallen for anymore. The least I could do was try to be what he deserved…

Even if I never would be again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he whispered.

I didn't look up. "I should be alone," I repeated.

Suddenly he was in front of me. "No." He kneeled, tilting his head to try and force our eyes to meet. I closed mine. "No, you shouldn't."

"What are you going to tell me?" I breathed, concentrating on keeping my lids tightly shut. "Don't worry about it? That you understand how I feel?"

"But I don't." There was nothing in his voice that made the words hurt. No judgment, no hatred. Not even pity. "And I am worried. Unless you're asking if I'd lie to you – I wouldn't."

"I can't talk about it, Edward. I don't even want to think about it." But there was no escape from my own thoughts. God, what I would have done for just one measly night of sleep!

"The others left for a while to give you space."

My eyes popped open. It was true; besides the noises from outside and the gentle buzzing of a fluorescent light somewhere in the house, the only sounds were from us. "Didn't you notice?"

I pursed my lips, shaking my head to indicate I hadn't noticed. Edward merely sighed and inclined his head, placing his hands on my knees.

"I can't hear your mind," he said, more to himself than to me, "and you won't speak to me." I didn't fight the gentle pressure he exerted on my knees to make them open for him. I could only guess his purpose, and couldn't bring myself to fight it if _he_ came to _me_. "Don't worry about me," he said quietly, tearing away the denim that covered my leg as though it was nothing. "Don't worry about encouraging me. Go ahead with any instructions if you want." He continued to causally destroy my clothing, tearing away the other pant leg. He ripped the remainder of my jeans easily from my waist, taking my panties with them. It was just before I felt his lips on me that I began to feel incredibly guilty for what was about to happen. Yet just before I opened my mouth to protest – "Shhhhh," he whispered, his warm breath gently caressing my sex. "Don't think."

So I didn't.


	18. The Angel Part One

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**The Angel – **_**Part One**_

**EPOV**

Everything about her was different. I didn't bother with the illusion that this was the same Bella who had found pleasure in my arms before; the Bella who I'd fantasized of taking comfort in. It was a different girl who I'd been so close to making love to before, when my passion for her had overcome me, and I'd nearly lost myself. She had expressed herself physically the same way she did everything, with a naivety that would not outlive her inexperience. She was one of us for sure, and yet she was unique in that she looked exactly as she should for her age. It was the reason I hadn't blamed her for only just realizing the kind of troubles James's presence could inflict on our family. Could I expect her wisdom to begin to match my own when she was eighteen and I was over a hundred years old? Of course I couldn't.

I didn't pretend to fully understand the reason for her transformation, but I'd been around long enough to venture a safe guess. That, and I'd been well enough within range to hear James screaming out in agony to know that Bella had not killed him quickly.

I had killed before, myself. I had not killed innocents during the time I'd developed a God complex to justify my feeding off of humans; I had killed the worse humans I could find. Yet though I had targeted these creatures deliberately, I had not enjoyed it. I'd needed to feed, and my poor excuse for killing criminals was evidence of how much I had hated the means to achieving that. My Bella had been provoked, stalked, and eventually hunted by the creature she'd had to kill – _had _to; I did not deny that what she'd done had been a necessity. Indeed, I'd set out to do it myself. I may have tortured James a bit if he'd provoked me, I would admit to that. But after living for as long as I had in various parts of the world, through countless wars, I knew that there were worse things that could be done than anything I could ever do to another vampire. I had seen them.

Bella, on the other hand, had not.

There had been no talking to her; no reasoning with her. Perhaps this was a job for Rosalie, but I was too proud to send another in my place just now. Protecting her from horrors she ought not to witness had been my aim, and what had I achieved instead? Not only had she witnessed the very act I'd hoped to shelter her from, she'd been forced to commit it herself.

I had watched her struggling with herself, clearly distraught that she had no relief from what plagued her. She'd even admitted that she wished she could sleep, and once again I'd chastised myself for stealing that ability from her. If she wouldn't speak to me, if I couldn't speak to her, there was one way I could think of to give her a means of relief; of escape.

I'd parted her legs slowly to make my intentions clear and she had not stopped me. She'd wanted this, I realized, all along; perhaps she'd just been too afraid to ask. I tried to make no sudden movements, now. If I was going to do this, I would do it properly. Bella would have no reason to be on her guard. I forced myself to remain soundless as I began to take care of her, and quickly realized just how much she'd changed when she was just as quiet.

Her body tensed more than usual. Instead of melting into my touch, she flinched away at every new contact. She squirmed awkwardly at times, as though she meant to escape the pleasure, then held herself in place in a way that was too rigid for what I wanted her to achieve.

I tried variations on speed; intensity. Perhaps I'd begun too quickly, I convinced myself. I'd buried myself between her legs afraid that she would try and protest if she had too much time to think, but it wasn't working because she wasn't comfortable. I moved my tongue gently, applying soft pressures and peppering kisses to try and calm her. Bella's body continued to jerk and buck, but not in the way it should. When I was finally convinced that I would have to admit defeat, having exhausted every technique I had listened in on for decades, Bella surprised me by closing the distance that I had worked so hard to maintain.

Her head was thrown back against the headrest of the rocking chair, her eyes closed tightly in concentration. "Edward?" she whispered, her voice turning up just a bit too much at the end. Immediately I stopped, afraid that in trying to help her I'd succeeded in doing the opposite, until one of her tiny hands found mine. She squeezed. "Why are you so quiet?" she breathed.

"I thought you might want the distance." I kept my voice as low as I could, trying to maintain the illusion as much as possible in case she decided she preferred it. "I was trying to give you what you needed."

"I need you," she panted out in a desperate whine. "I need to know I'm feeling _you._"

Bella finally opened her eyes and found mind, her gaze pleading. I rose from my crouched position and scooped her up with renewed determination, bringing her toward her bed. Before I could even set her down she attacked me, kissing and nipping along my neck in a manner I could only describe as desperate. Finally I understood what it was that she needed. She wanted to lose herself.

I set her down on the bed and took a step back, steeling myself. She eyed me curiously as I slowly unbuttoned my shirt. Once I'd pulled it off I let it fall to the floor and began working on my belt buckle. I kicked off my shoes before unbuttoning my pants, then quickly took my pants and boxers off together. I kicked off my socks. Bella sat quietly all the while, only watching. She knew something about me was different this time. Was it because I hadn't unceremoniously destroyed our clothing in my rush to please us both?

Perhaps.

I approached her slowly and leaned down so that I was at her eye level. I kissed her softly on her lips, just once, and then reached down to pull her long sleeved t-shirt over her head. She lifted her arms obligingly, and once her head and arms were free I gently dropped her shirt into the pile. I reached behind her and unhooked her bra, sliding it off and tossing it into the pile. She swung her legs and casually looked at her feet.

_Oh, her socks._

I slid off one sock, kissed the top of her arch, and threw it in the pile. I slid off her other sock and tossed it in the pile, simultaneously kissing her toe. Neither of us had a stitch of fabric on our bodies now, but I made the effort to keep my eyes on hers. I felt myself smile when she faltered first, her gaze flickering down every so often. A little bit of my innocent, eager Bella was there after all.

"Are you sure?" she said softly, as I rose to join her on the bed.

I hadn't planned on hesitating. The truth, of course, was that I wasn't sure. I'd imagined this moment time and time again, hoping it could be possible from the moment I'd put my hand on hers in the classroom. In my mind it hadn't happened this way. In my mind, it was the last of several steps that would make her eternally mine.

The first step was in a safety deposit box at the bank we all used, where we kept the items that we wouldn't want to lose if we ever had to leave in a hurry. It was where I'd gone to take out my mother's diamond earrings for Bella; where I'd retrieved the large, heart cut diamond before having my jeweler fashion it into a choker. Each time I'd taken out the old fashioned ring and turned it in my fingers, wondering how Bella would react when she saw it. Was it too old fashioned for her taste? Would it be too small; too big? Or – the hopeful side of me always wondered – would she love it instantly? Would it fit perfectly, as though it had been meant for her all along?

In my mind, she would accept, and step one would be complete. A wedding would be planned, and given who my sister was, it would be grand. Everyone we both knew would be in attendance. The whole town, probably, given her father's position. She would stand before me as we said our vows, my angel in white, until finally it was time for me to present her with the wedding band my mother once wore on her finger; when she would place my father's ring on mine. We would truly belong to each other then, joined for eternity in wedlock before God. Yet even at the reception I'd imagined, I would be preoccupied the entire time with the promise of our honeymoon.

I didn't fool myself into thinking I'd be removing her wedding dress when we finally reached our destination (which I hadn't quite decided on yet, though I was strongly considering Brazil). Aside from the fact that we'd be traveling for hours, I knew Alice well enough to know that she'd never allow Bella to go through a traditional wedding in only one dress. But I'd have had the room prepared nevertheless before we arrived, and the moment we walked in we'd both be reminded that it was indeed our wedding night. A path of rose petals would lead us to the bed in the center of the candle lit room. I would have undressed her as delicately as I had tonight, showing her that I respected her. Adored her. Worshipped her.

"Edward?" I blinked. Bella's whisper had broken the trance.

"How long was I out?" I asked quietly.

"Out? Edward, did it feel like you were actually _out_? You were just sort of staring…what happened? Are you okay?"

"Of course, love. I'm alright." She scooted back as I took a few steps closer, allowing me to kneel beside her on the bed. My eyes fought to explore the view before me, but I controlled them, though not without effort.

"Something's wrong," she declared. "Is it me?"

"No! Don't be ridiculous, Bella. You're perfect."

I tried to make myself start this. I knew what I needed to do. Just one kiss and we would both be overcome with need. It would take less effort on my part, less control, to make this happen than it had the times we'd come close. I thought of how I should begin. Where would I put my hand first? How should I touch her? How should we…

I shook my head. How could I think of claiming her in this way when Bella was not my wife? It wasn't the same for her, and I knew that. Bella was from a different generation; a modern woman. There was nothing indecent about the way she saw the world; the way she perceived sex outside of marriage. The society she knew simply didn't associate the two. For me though, marriage and intercourse went hand in hand. I felt my brows pull together in despair, despite myself. The idea of marriage danced around in my head too many times a day for me to count, while it was clear that Bella hadn't considered it. What if we made love tonight and she decided she already had everything she'd ever want from me? What if Bella never became my wife?

There was a soft whimpering sound, and my eyes darted to Bella's face in a panic. I'd been doing it again – I'd been lost in thought in some kind of trance. The look on her face immediately told me that the noise hadn't been hers, but mine.

"You're scaring me now," she said, her voice an urgent whisper. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "It isn't you – it's nothing you did or didn't do. It's me."

"Nothing's wrong with you. You're perfect."

"But I'm _not _perfect, Bella. That's just it, don't you see? If you had any idea what I'd done before we met; who I was…or rather _what _I had become before I realized my mistake and submitted fully to Carlisle's way of living. If you knew everything I'd ever done in my unnaturally long life I doubt you'd be willing to give yourself to me this way. Even if we were wed I wouldn't deserve you, but I at least want to _try…_" I trailed off.

"None of us is perfect, Edward. Especially not me." Something changed about the quality of her voice. "You've killed before, is that it?" I avoided her gaze, glancing down at the comforter instead. "I've killed someone," she said softly. "One the one hand, it had to happen, and a part of me feels that he deserved it, especially now that I know about Alice. But that's not the part that bothers me. It's the fact that I liked it."

"You did what you had to do, Bella. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Think of what could have happened if you _hadn't_ – "

"No, I know," she cut me off. "I know that. You're right. I had to do it. But I didn't have to enjoy it. I didn't recognize myself, Edward. Everything about me was different. The way I spoke; the way I moved." She met my eyes. "I'm no angel."

I started to tell her that it wasn't true. She was _my _angel. No matter what, she would always be. I opened my mouth to say the words when a terrible, terrible thought stopped me. I felt the venom prickling in my eyes.

Bella sighed. "Edward, you have to stop this. Look at me." I obeyed. "Tell me what you're thinking."

The irony of that particular combination of words coming from her lips amused me, and I felt myself smile.

"My, my," I said, allowing the amusement to leak into my voice. "How the tables have turned.


	19. The Angel  Part Two

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**The Angel – **_**Part Two**_

**BPOV**

"Very cute, Edward." I tried to maintain my frustration, but he was sporting that crooked smile I loved – I couldn't help but smirk, just a bit. "But really, tell me what's going on. Explain it to me so that I'll understand."

His eyes dropped back to the bed in front of him, his brow furrowed. I watched him struggle with himself in another one of his trances; for how long, I didn't know. Finally he met my gaze, his eyes hard and guarded.

"Carlisle and I have talked about it at length, trying to decide whether our kind still have souls. Carlisle believes it could be possible that we do. He seems to be eternally optimistic about our nature, believing that even our natural disposition can be redeemed through our actions; our choices. I've given it thought as well. I look at Carlisle, someone who refused to feed on a single human, instead choosing to try and end himself when he was changed. He soon found out it couldn't be done, at least not in any of the ways he'd thought of. He found a way to survive, but came to do even more than that. The scent of human blood is nothing to him now. Can you imagine it?"

I shook my head.

"Do I hope that we still have souls?" he continued. "Of course I do. After watching him for decades, and now looking at you, I hope…I pray that we do. But realistically I know that our kind are natural killers. The soul intention of our design is to enable us to be successful predators, and though we may be able to survive on the blood of animals, they are not what we naturally crave. Our thirst drives us to destroy humans, and surely our appearances, the sound of our voices and our scents were not devised to deceive the _animals_. It was to let us be close to humans, _desirable_ to them. So that they might even come to _us, _and we might have them."

"You think we've lost our souls," I said quietly, finally realizing what he'd been so upset about this whole time.

He nodded. "I do. And worse, I fear I've stolen yours. I considered it the moment you began to change, but perhaps because you didn't act the way a newborn usually does, I let it go out of my mind. I _wanted _it out of my mind. Perhaps that's the reason I've never offered to take you hunting, watching instead as you stayed to your routine of going with Alice and Rose. I still want to see you as that human girl…the one I destroyed. All this time I've been fighting to deny what I've made you."

"No, Edward." I reached for him, wanting to convince him that he was wrong. And he was, I just _knew _it. How could he think he didn't have a soul? Apart from how brilliant he was, how wonderful and caring he was, did he honestly think he could ever achieve the amount of brooding that he did in just a few hours _without_ one?

"Bella, please," he said, catching my hand in his before it could find his face. "Let me finish. You know, already, that I'm a relic of my time. Can you understand why I'm so against intercourse outside of wedlock?" I suppressed a gasp that he'd actually said _wedlock_. Sometimes I forgot how old he really was. "Of course I've had trouble reining myself in. And you…well, you know you're a little minx." For a moment, I swore he would blush. "And yes, I was brought up a certain way, but moreover…it was because I wanted to protect your virtue. Your _soul_." He looked down at the bed again, making an indescribable, tortured sound. "I've been so preoccupied trying not to endanger it, ignoring the fact that I've already taken it from you."

"I don't believe that," I said, firmly.

He sighed. "And I believe you. But though you might feel that way, Bella, if I'm right, whether or not you believe it won't change the truth."

"The truth _if _you're right. Which you're not." He laughed. "I'm just telling you."

His smile grew even wider. "I appreciate that. I appreciate your faith in me more than I can say." His use of the word faith reminded me of something, and I couldn't think of a better time to tell him.

"I remember the first time I saw you, when you walked into the cafeteria with your family. I remember thinking how beautiful you all were, and I struggled for a while with deciding who was the most beautiful out of all of you. For a while, I'll admit, it was a tie between you and Rosalie."

Edward smiled at that. "Rose will be pleased."

"Eventually I found myself preoccupied with you, though. There was something about you that drew me in, I just couldn't put my finger on what. I remember a glimpse of you right before…I guess it was before you bit me…" He scowled, but I continued. "I probably should have been scared, but I just couldn't make myself be afraid of you."

"I didn't want to do it, Bella. I fought it so hard."

I touched his cheek gently, bringing his eyes back to me. "I believe you," I whispered. "And when I started burning, when Alice carried me away, I saw you for a moment. Do you know what I thought?" He shook his head. "I thought you were an angel. I still believe it now."

"You're my angel, Isabella Swan." He sighed. "I'm afraid the time for this was before I removed all of our clothing, but I want to do this properly. Soul or no soul, you are sacred to me. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't treat you as such."

"After the wedding, then."

"After," he agreed.

"And when will that be?" I giggled when his eyes popped open wide. "Don't look so surprised. It's all you ever talk about and you haven't even asked me."

"I know you're young," he said, "and I know your time is different. Waiting for marriage is a dying tradition, I realize. I suppose I thought you'd need more time before we started discussing our relationship in terms of virtue, heaven, and hell. I didn't think you were ready."

"Well now you know," I said, though it surprised me a little as the words came out. I hadn't thought I was ready either, but seeing the world through his eyes had helped me along. Not to mention the few uncertain moments I'd spend worried that I'd lost him forever. What was I waiting for, exactly? He was, after all, the only one I'd ever want. "But you may be right about all this talk of heaven and hell. It's just too much. And honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about it all."

"You're not sure where we'd end up?" he asked.

"Or if there even _are _places for us to end up; for anyone. An afterlife, I mean."

"A secular woman," he mused, tracing my eyebrow with his fingers. "Times have certainly changed."

"I'll make you a deal," I whispered, as a sudden remedy to his brooding struck me.

"I'm listening." A hint of his crooked smiled emerged.

"We'll just never die," I said, as casually as I could manage. "Then we won't even have to worry about it."

"You've chosen a fine time to make that proposition, what with that menacing redhead lurking somewhere." He leaned in close and kissed me slowly, a lover's version of a handshake. "It's a deal," he whispered against my lips.

_There,_ I thought. _That settles that. _


	20. Carlisle

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Carlisle**

Casual conversation had resumed, as though we _weren't _sitting naked on my bed, when there was a soft knock at the door. The noise brought me immediately out of the utopia that was mine and Edward's, back to reality. I was reminded of what had transpired tonight, and the likeliest reason that someone might want to speak to me.

"I don't mean to interrupt," Carlisle said, "but I'd like to speak with you sometime tonight."

Before I could respond Edward was off of the bed, quickly throwing on his clothes. I followed suit so that we were both fully dressed within seconds. Edward kissed me chastely on my forehead before heading to my door and opening it. I was momentarily taken aback when my lover and my make-shift father formally nodded at one another.

"Good evening, Edward," Carlisle said.

"Carlisle," Edward replied, taking his leave.

Carlisle came into my room, quietly closing the door behind him. He didn't move to sit, which I was thankful for since Edward and I had been intimately close on both my bed and my rocking chair much too recently. I wasn't really sure what to say; if I should try and explain myself, apologize outright, or keep quiet and accept it if I was about to be lectured. In the end, I chose silence.

"I know you and Edward have a lot to talk about," he began, "and I don't want to keep you from that, so I'll be brief. Bella, I owe you an apology."

The minute I heard the word I began shaking my head. _Carlisle _apologize to _me_? Where was Edward with his mindreading when I needed him?

"I see why you might be confused," he continued, "but this needs to be said. The way that I reacted when you admitted you'd killed James…" He shook his head, as though chastising himself. "I should never have responded so quickly, not without thinking things through. The fact that I didn't go after Edward with you in the first place is reason enough for my apology.

"What did I think would happen, realistically? Edward told me how obsessed James was, so much so that giving up was nowhere in his thoughts. I don't know what kind of peaceful resolution I thought I would be able to find with him…" he trailed off. "If you're wondering why we didn't come to you when he ambushed you, I'll tell you." I nodded. I had wondered about that, actually. "Alice was confused for a while. With Edward, Laurent, _and _Victoria all oblivious as to their next moves, no decisions were being made. They were all just waiting – Edward to discover his fate, Victoria and Laurent to hear from James. She couldn't see anything until James decided to attack you. We started toward you, but she stopped us all quickly, telling us that you would be okay and that we couldn't interfere. I suspect that we all needed to believe James was still alive until after the negotiation. Edward may have been harmed otherwise." I nodded. That made sense. "It was clear when you got the upper hand in the fight, which made Victoria decide to head back for James. Alice saw them pass through the clearing so we assembled there.

"Today was traumatic for all of us, and I can't help but feel responsible. I should have been thinking more seriously about James and admitted that he would turn violent eventually. Denying it put both you and Edward at risk, and for that I deeply apologize."

"Thank you," I whispered, because I wasn't sure how else to respond.

"Bella, I overheard some of what you told Edward. I don't want you to feel badly about what you had to do. We do have certain instincts as vampires, and they are triggered by different things. You may have felt unfamiliar urges when you were with James, but it is not because you are evil. You are _not_. No matter what you may have been feeling, you are nothing like James. You were afraid for your life and then for Edward's. If it had been me in your place, if they had taken Esme somewhere, I doubt I would have acted any differently."

"I thought you would be disappointed," I said finally, my voice breaking.

"I am," he admitted, his eyes never leaving mine. "But with myself. Not with you. The whole thing never should have happened. You should never have been forced to make that choice."

The air between us was still tense, and I still wasn't sure how I should conduct myself. Finally I decided to change the subject.

"So, has Laurent gone looking for the Denali clan?"

He smiled. "I believe so. I'll have to give them a call and let them know they may be expecting a lodger."

"I'm worried about Victoria."

"I am as well. What part, in particular, has you worried?"

"Laurent, actually. He came to warn us, and I guess that's a good thing. But still, I wonder if he still feels any loyalty toward Victoria. He could get information about our family from the Denali clan and use it to help her, and she already knows how to hide her thoughts from Alice. James told her."

Carlisle's brow furrowed. "I see your point. I'll try and convey that when I make my phone call."

He began to say something else when there was a knock on the door.

"Yes, Edward?" Carlisle called, amusement in his voice.

"If you're through, may I come back? I miss her."

It felt good to laugh as loudly as I did then. Carlisle merely smiled and shook his head, opening the door for Edward so that he could come back to me with a sheepish grin.

"Is someone having separation anxiety?" I asked, taking Edward's face in my hands as Carlisle closed the door, leaving us alone in my room once more.

"Something like that," Edward replied. He smirked at me for a moment as if contemplating something, then got down on one knee in front of me.

I froze. When I'd given him the green light for this kind of thing earlier I _never _thought he would propose _tonight_! Is that why he was so eager to come back inside? Was he really that anxious to start calling me his _fiancé_?

He took my left hand in his, still smiling slyly at me.

"Isabella Swan," he murmured. I swallowed – hard. "I love you more than words could ever express." I let out a deep, ragged breath. "Will you join me for a run tonight in the forest," – I gasped – "and make me the happiest man in the world?" I yanked my hand away from his, hitting him with it.

"You are _evil_!" I shouted as he got to his feet, laughing. "I can't believe you would do that to me."

"You should have seen your face," he said, his body trembling as he fought guffaws. "Like a deer in headlights."

I hit him again, though I was laughing along.

"What did you expect? I didn't think you would propose _tonight_!"

I could feel the shocked expression on my face, my gaze focused on his as I awaited the explanation I was certain he would deliver at any moment. Instead –

"So, how about that run?" Edward said, grinning even wider when he read the fury off of my face. "I'm feeling like a mountain lion tonight. You?"

"Oh, so you were serious about _that _proposal, were you?" I smacked his arm.

Edward pulled me into a tight hug, gently kissing my neck as he held me. The feel of his lips against my skin sent hot waves down my body, even through our hysterics. My heart would have been racing if it could. As it was, my whole body melted into his hold and I sighed. He quickly kissed a path upward until his lips were at my ear.

After gently kissing it he whispered, "I'll take that as a yes."


	21. Phone Call

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Phone Call**

"_Bella!" _he called.

_Nope. Not falling for it. _I continued to push ahead, flying through the forest as fast as my supercharged legs would push me. Edward was the one who had come up with the racing idea. He was used to being the fastest; it wasn't my fault that my strength added so much extra distance to my strides, even if his _were _faster.

"_Bella, really. I have to tell you something." _His distant voice rang out comically behind me, echoing in an odd way, presumably due to the speeds at which we were traveling.

"I can hear you from here!" I shouted triumphantly, leaping over the mountain lion that stared curiously as I flew over it. Usually he would have been dinner, but I was already sated.

"_Maybe I want to whisper it into your delicate little ear!"_

I spat out my laugh. "Bullshit, Edward!" I pushed harder.

"_What language!" _he growled. I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was gaining on me. _"Do you have any idea what will happen to you once I catch you, Bella? What the whole forest will hear?"_

"_If _you catch me," I muttered to myself, experimenting with his annoyingly fast strides. Maybe if I emulated him I would be faster. I concentrated on pushing my legs out in front of me faster; on trying to get more traction. The sound of my feet against the ground barely changed, but I felt as though I had a little more force at my disposal when I pushed off. Still, the pattering sound of quick steps – steps that were still just fractionally quicker than my own – became more and more audible behind me. I was losing my lead. At this point I could still win, but only just.

I felt myself scowl, feeling annoyed and a bit defeated. My days of effortlessly being the strongest and fastest in the Cullen house were coming to a close. Soon I'd be no match for Emmett, and soon I'd be praying I was on Edward's team in baseball just like everyone else, afraid to compete against him.

A few seconds later the inevitable lake came into view. The makeshift finish line being the ground on the far side, I knew it would be more prudent to race around it. But it felt so good to be moving so fast. So exhilarating! And after all, I only had a few more months of _this _kind of speed…

I couldn't help myself. I dove.

Though I'd gone straight to the bottom, I kicked furiously, determined to come out the other side before Edward managed to close the distance. I was actually still moving quickly, even in the water, so I was particularly disappointed when I felt a pair of strong hands find my arms and pull me out.

"You just couldn't resist could you?" Edward smirked. I spat the water in my mouth at him like a fountain. He laughed.

"No!" I pouted, shaking my wet hair at him. "It looked fun."

"Was it?" he encouraged.

I grinned.

He was going to kiss me. I could always tell. Or maybe I was only recognizing the way I felt myself, because I was definitely going to go for his lips if he didn't come for mine first. His eyes seemed to sparkle as he kept them fixed on me. I smiled even wider. Slowly, he began to move in…

_Beep beep…beep beep!_

He paused, raising one curious eyebrow at the sound coming from my pocket.

"I'm surprised your Blackberry still works after it went swimming with the fishes."

"_Fishes?" _I teased, even as I moved to take out my phone. "You of all people should know better than to say fishes."

"It's correct!"

"It is _not!"_

"Not for multiple fish, but for multiple _schools _of…what is it, Bella?"

I turned my phone around so that he could see the number that I didn't recognize.

"Who would have my number but you guys and Charlie? The school?"

He shook his head. "That isn't a Forks area code. It's…you should answer it." His mouth was tight, his eyes hard and impatient.

Cautiously, I answered. "Hello?"

"Bella?"

Without thinking, I smiled. "Jacob! How did you get this number?"

"Charlie gave it to me. I came by with Billy earlier and he said you were at the Cullen house. You're close with that girl I saw you with at the bookstore, huh?"

"Yeah, Alice. She's great. You're lucky my phone still even works, I almost killed it swi – " Edward cut me off with a look before I slipped. "…when I dropped it…in the tub," I corrected.

"Still clumsy, I see. Well Bella, listen, I just wanted to tell you that we're coming up for the game next week. So don't go out, okay? Maybe we can hangout like old times."

"You want to play in the mud with me, Jacob?" The funniest expression crossed Edward's features and before I could stop it, I was hysterical.

Luckily Jacob was laughing too. "Next week, Bella. Tuesday. See you then?"

"Sure, okay. See you then, Jake."

"Okay. Have fun at the Cullen house, putting on make-up or whatever you do with your friend." His voice was absolutely dripping with sarcasm.

"Goodbye, Jacob," I said pointedly, grinning as I hit the END button.

I pushed my Blackberry back into my pocket, surprised when I looked back to Edward and found his expression to be more serious than I'd expected.

"What's wrong?" I asked, wringing out my wet curls and running my fingers through them.

"You're going to Charlie's, then. Next week." Neither had been a question. I nodded. "And Jacob's father will be there for certain?"

"Of course." I studied his expression. "You're worried about the wolf thing?"

"The wolf _thing?_" Edward shook his head at me, simultaneously rolling his eyes. "Bella I accept your nonchalance about most things, but this? You do realize what would happen if that gene was active in the tribe, don't you? The treaty would be broken and we would be at war. Lives could be lost."

"But the gene isn't active anymore! You and Carlisle said it yourselves. What's the worst case scenario here, Edward? Some tribe elder, or even Jacob's dad, recognizes me as a vampire – then what? There _are no wolves."_

Edward sighed heavily. "Will you do one thing for me, at least?"

"Anything." My response had been automatic. He smiled.

"The show you put on for Charlie, the clumsiness, the bad coordination – make sure you stay in character for Jacob and especially for his father. I would even keep a distance if I were you. Fabricate some excuse to stay in your room – homework, or something – so that only Jacob sees you."

It sounded like a lot. "But I would usually have done my homework on the living room floor, even with guests over."

"You're not so old that you can't change your preferences, Bella."

I started to protest again when I noticed the set of Edward's face. There was that look he always got when he was trying to convince me of something, but there was more to it, and whatever was making up the _more_, I didn't like it. I recognized the way he held his mouth just now; the set of his brow. He was worried more than he was letting on, and even what he was letting on was more worry than I was comfortable with. In my mind, my protest changed into a question. A cleverly worded retort that would force him to reveal the true reason for all these precautions; had he and Carlisle only been playing it up at the meeting to keep the family relaxed? Was there a chance the gene hadn't died out after all? But just as the question became fully formed in my head, something changed in Edward's expression. Only for a moment, but in that moment he had been pleading with me.

"Okay," I said, instead of the witty question I'd composed. "I'll be careful."

"That's all I ask, love," Edward replied. His tone was too casual, which I knew meant he was working to keep it that way. I sighed. "No need for us to get careless, is there?"

I nodded in agreement, though I doubted the precautions were necessary. I trusted Carlisle. He wouldn't keep valuable information from the family – information that could mean the difference between peace and war – especially after all that had happened with James. This was just Edward being overprotective; over thinking things, as usual.

I promised him again that I would be on my best – or, depending how you looked at it, my worst – behavior at Charlie's, and that I'd try and avoid Jacob's father. Sadly, the serious turn of our outing had overshadowed the outcome of our race, and Edward didn't seem to be in the mood for a rematch, suggesting we go back to the house instead. The run home had been stripped clean of all the playful banter of our earlier run. I approached our property with a heavy feeling in my chest, walking quietly up to my room upon entering and sitting down in my rocking chair. We'd been having so much fun before. Why did everything always have to come with a meeting; a cover story, an act? A week from now, I was going to sit quietly in Charlie's living room, while everyone present ignored me for the drama of the football game.

Honestly, what was the worst that could happen?


	22. Nightmare

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Nightmare**

"_Did you think I wouldn't come?"_

"_We were expecting you, actually." Edward shifts only slightly to his right, reacting to a much larger movement on her part. _

"_And yet I find you here. Alone," she sings._

"_That we weren't expecting. No."_

"_Where is my friend? Your Bella? I was so looking forward to seeing her again. There's someone I want her to meet."_

"_Someone…?" Edward begins to ask, but his voice trails off, his face tightening. "You've brought a friend." I can identify the thin trace of fear in his voice._

"_Surprise," she whispers, her child like features bright with excitement._

…

"No!" I screamed.

The present came into focus suddenly, the picture of the room racing back in to fill my head. I hadn't been asleep of course, but then I hadn't exactly been awake either. I'd been staring across the gym one moment, watching carefully as the volley ball went back and forth across the net, trying not to intercept it. The next thing I knew, day was beginning to break on a snowy mountaintop, and Edward was being cornered. Trapped.

Luckily for me, my outburst had gone unnoticed. Everyone in the gym was screaming at the top of their lungs; my scream, in fact, was actually _more _appropriate than some of the other things being shouted from either side of the net. I closed my eyes tightly, opening them again slowly in hopes that I would be back on the mountaintop. No such luck. The dream, the vision, whatever it was, it was long gone. It was something to think about, though. I had to remember to ask Alice to look –

"_Heads up, Bella!" _a voice called from behind me (Mike's voice, to be accurate). I looked up in time to see the ball coming straight for my face, but splitting one's attention in multiple directions at once had consequences, even for vampires, and my instinctive block sent the ball flying back across the net at a speed that would have shattered the first thing to come into its path. That is, if I hadn't have raced across to the other side to catch it, set it down, and flown back to my place. Standing almost too still and trying desperately to mask my internal panic, I waited.

No human eyes could be allowed to witness what I'd just done, or we'd all have to get out of Forks _tonight_. I was sure I'd moved fast enough that no one had seen me run, and I knew that most eyes had been focused on what would probably be deemed a spike – in other words, on the ball, not on me. Still, there were one or two people in the room who tended to focus exclusively on me regardless of their surroundings, Mike Newton being one of them. If he'd watched me the whole time, he might have seen…something. To him it might have looked like I…flickered or…glitched? Like an image on a television with bad reception.

I glanced carefully at him, then away, pretending to be embarrassed at the other team's reaction to my unexpected move. No one had expected that hard a spike from a girl – especially not a girl like _me,_ who claimed to have horrible coordination and avoided every physical activity known to man. A brief intermission seemed to be taking place as the boys began to obsess over my surprising athleticism, the girls eyeing them disapprovingly. All the while, though, I was focused on Mike. And yes…his facial expression wasn't what it was supposed to be.

I thought of doing it again, but making it appear more natural; fool him into thinking it was what he'd seen in the first place. If I ran just a foot over and back he might see something similar. I could make it look like I had in itch or…a sore muscle…or claim I'd pinched a nerve a few years back and it sometimes caused me to jerk –

_What are you stupid?_ I thought to myself. Who was I kidding? Probably the worst thing I could do right now was duplicate the very thing I was worried Mike _might _have seen, now that he was _definitely _looking at me. I did need to get him to focus on something else, but that wasn't the right way. A part of me knew that the only _right_ way to handle this was to raise my hand asking to use the bathroom or something and sneak a call to Carlisle. But he'd just worry. And we'd have to move. And I liked it here. And…and Mike was only human! Even if he was obsessed with me, there had to be some way to distract him from me, just this one time, or at least some way I could _use _it…

_Yes! _The moment the idea hit me I began analyzing its success. How many seconds had passed since I'd run back here. Ten? Twelve? To me it was plenty, but for a human it was nothing. Everyone else's mind was still processing the event that, for me, had already passed. It wasn't too late to add something else into the equation. Fifteen seconds. If I was going to put my plan into practice, I had to do it now.

_And scene, _I thought.

"Ahhhhhh!" My scream, a drawn out, high-pitched wail, managed to somehow sound distressed despite the tell-tale wind chime quality to it. I reached down, my hands cupping my ankle as I slowly (and despite my efforts, gracefully) buckled over.

Immediately a chorus of "_Bella!_" sounded, but Mike's voice had stood out among them. One could almost separate the different emotions heard in his tone – confusion, panic, concern.

_Yikes…he's got it bad._

"My ankle," I whimpered, trying to sound feeble while discouraging any contact at the same time. The last thing I needed after my stunt was rumors about my ice cold skin. A crowd had officially formed around me, Mike at the forefront of my rescue party.

He leaned down, his face tense and distraught. "You're hurt?" His voice was gentle with concern. I felt almost guilty now, playing on his feelings for me.

Almost

"I think I twisted it."

"Your ankle?" he asked softly. I nodded. "She needs to go to the nurse," Mike yelled, waving his arm to catch the attention of our gym teacher who seemed to be taking a personal cell phone call in his office. He must have thought the game would mean a safe window of free time. Once Mike got the vague nod from the other side of the glass, he reached for me, meaning to pick me up. Instinctively, I jerked away.

"I can stand," I insisted. I pretended to struggle until I was upright. All I had to do now was drape my arm around Mike's shoulder and limp to the nurse – my arm touching his shirt, not his skin. He reached for me again, this time in the way that I'd planned. I lifted my arm and prepared to fake my limp when –

"I'll take her." My head whipped to look behind me so fast that I felt my ponytail catch Mike's cheek. It shouldn't have surprised me, really. Of course he was here. Yet I'd had one of those moments I sometimes did, where I expected my heart to be pounding before realizing that it no longer could. He'd surprised me. I smiled. It was rare that anything truly surprised me these days.

"Edward." His name slipped from my lips almost without my permission. I wasn't even thinking – it was a reflex. Mike was still hovering protectively when Edward smoothly approached and slid his hand behind my neck to cup my face.

"Are you very badly hurt?" he asked, a hint of teasing in his tone. I fought the smile I was already inappropriately sporting from growing any wider.

"A twisted ankle, I think."

"You must be in so much pain," he said. "Here, put your arm around me." I did. I remembered that now it was time to fake my limp, but instead of furthering my acting career, Edward bent slightly and scooped my legs out from under me, cradling me in his arms. It wasn't that he'd never done it before. Never like this, though. Never in front of so many eyes.

"You sure you can carry her all the way to the nurse?" Mike asked, clearly trying not to be impressed.

"I've got her," Edward muttered, more for me than for Mike. I sighed deeply, resting my head on his shoulder as he strolled out of the gym with me, just as gracefully as he'd strolled in.

…

"Shall we start compiling a resume to send out to a talent agency?"

"Oh, shut up!" I said, smacking Edward's arm, and holding an ice pack to my ankle with my other hand. The ice pack felt like nothing against my skin; all I could register was the gentle caress of the plastic. Edward reminded me with stern glances every now and then to adjust the ice pack and wince a little. Always keeping up appearances.

"Will you be alright to go home? The school day is almost out."

I looked up at the nurse from under my lashes, trying to look hurt and uncertain. "I think I can manage."

"Of course you'll manage, love," Edward whispered _love _just for me, then turned to the nurse. "I drove her to school. I'll be extra careful getting her home."

"Oh, how thoughtful of you, Mr. Cullen." The nurse's warm smile was a bit too warm for me, and a low growl rumbled in my chest. Too low for her to hear, luckily, but not low enough for Edward.

"In fact, why don't I take her to the car now? You know, to beat the rush." Without even waiting for approval Edward scooped me up from the makeshift bed and carried me out of the office.

"Bella," he whispered to me as we proceed down the hall (him gliding effortlessly along; me in tow, "what could the nurse have done to upset you so much that you your inner predator awoke on a cot?"

I giggled, muffling my laugh in his shoulder. "It wasn't her so much, really. I'm just feeling protective of you today."

He smiled at me warmly, not noticing the change in my tone. Not yet. "Any particular reason?"

"I had a vision in gym today."

For a forth of a second, he hesitated. His next step was just slightly out of sync with the former one, but he kept up his pace after that. To anyone else Edward Cullen was just being Edward Cullen – walking along in a deliberate manner, an intense, withdrawn look on his face. But I could tell the difference; sense the changes in his expression that their human eyes couldn't even detect. I could hear his breathing change; feel the way his hands tightened around me incrementally.

I wasn't the least bit surprised to see Alice perched on the hood of Edward's Volvo when we made our way outside. Edward all but ran to her when she put up one tiny hand, smiling.

"Now, now," she chided. "She had a vision, not a heart attack." Edward only huffed and set me on my feet. I tried to keep my chin down so that my hair would fall a bit into my face and hide my smile. It wouldn't do to tease Edward when he was in one of his moods.

The drive back to the house threatened to be uncomfortable and silent. Edward pulled out of the parking lot carefully and onto the winding road that would lead us home. In truth, the vision had scared me, and I was glad that it was going to be taken seriously by the family, Edward in particular. What I didn't want though, was a replay of what had happened the last time a danger had threatened us. Edward had kept his thoughts to himself and tried to handle it on his own – and it had nearly gotten him killed.

No. This time would be different.

"Tell me what you're thinking." I shifted in the passenger seat so that I could face him. Edward pursed his lips and glanced quickly at me sideways, as though to check if I was serious, and the hard line of his mouth seemed to get even thinner upon realizing I was. I waited a few more beats. Though his expression contorted a bit more, he didn't speak. "Edward," I prompted.

"Since when do you have visions, I'm thinking, most importantly. How could that be? I'm wondering what it means. Is it a vision like the kind that Alice has? Can we trust what you saw? Or could it have been a vision planted there by an enemy with a power we can't even conceive?" I hadn't thought of that. I had assumed that I had experienced an Alice-like vision; been given a glance of the future. I had intended to talk it over very seriously and try and prevent it. But if Edward was right…if it hadn't been real….

But then, if an enemy was planning some kind of attack, even if they had the power to put visions in my head, why do it this way? Why show me their plan of attack, or give rise to our feeling threatened at all?

"I think it was a real vision. The future. I do think that someone wants to hurt you. Us."

"Because of what you saw," Edward said, pointedly.

"Yes, and it's _because _of what I saw that I know it was real and not…" I didn't know the word for what I wanted to say. That the vision wasn't…what? An illusion? A hologram? "It's because of what I saw that I know someone is after us. If they put the vision in my head, they've just warned us. Why would they have done that?"

"Very well. Then unless anything further comes up, we accept the vision. Perhaps this is your gift. Some form of precognition, like Alice." We were still quite far from the house, it being too light out still to drive any faster than we were. I felt myself relaxing, relieved that the drive hadn't turn silent and stiff as I'd dreaded. But Edward was not displaying the same signs of relaxation as I, gripping the wheel a bit too tightly instead, his mouth still pursed into a tight line.

"There's something else," I whispered. I tried to make my voice gentle. To be comforting and soothing for him; an antidote to his frustration, rather than another cause for it. "Will you tell me?"

"I thought you'd want to wait until we were with everyone else. So that you won't have to repeat yourself."

Of course. I hadn't yet told anyone just _what _I'd seen in my vision.

"I don't mind. You should hear it first, anyway."

"So it was about me?" I nodded, realizing that even though he wasn't looking at me, he would perceive the movement. "And you worried for my safety." I felt myself let out a ragged breath. "You saw me being attacked?"

"It didn't get that far. I woke up first. Or – the vision stopped, rather. But you'd been surprised. Outnumbered. I didn't see who she brought with her."

"She?"

"Victoria. Laurent was right. She hasn't quite finished with us yet."

"We knew she would come. We'll be prepared when she does. Between Alice, and now you! I wouldn't worry, love." He put his hand on mine. "My concern is for you. I want to be sure that vision was the real thing. Absolutely sure. If not, I can't even imagine what kind of power – "

"Will you stop worrying about _me!_" I screamed, suddenly furious. I'd startled Edward. His eyes left the road for a long beat as he looked at me, taking in my expression. "No one is after me. Victoria is after _you_. Only you. And in my vision, she had you. Alone. We weren't prepared. I don't even know where I was, or why I wasn't with you. Or why Alice didn't see…I just know she _had _you. And you're worried about my stupid vision. Stop worrying about it and listen to it!"

It was quiet then. I kept my body turned toward the driver's seat in case Edward opened up again, but I knew we would probably remain in silence until we reached the house. I stared at my hands as images of familiar trees flew past in my peripheral. I traced the barely there scar that James had left when we'd fought and he'd bitten my hand. It was the one wound that Edward had missed when he'd healed me that night; the one thing I had to remind me of how scared I'd been that night that I might never see him again. Why didn't he understand my concern? Why wasn't he concerned himself?

Though the purr of the engine surrounded us, the silence seemed even more of a factor. It felt heavy, and I wished more than anything that it was so that I could push it out of the way. I didn't like being helpless this way, and yet there was nothing to be done. Nothing for me to punch or kick – I just had to wait. At last, I clasped my hands together in my lap and closed my eyes, hoping to soothe my frustration. I allowed my mind to wander to ideal places. A place where Edward had proposed, and I flitted about with a ring on my finger, making elaborate arrangements with Alice and Rose. A place where Edward and I had married, and could now escape from the world for a while on a remote island somewhere, or maybe to someplace exotic like Egypt. Hey! We could climb the pyramids!

"Bella?" I opened one eye when Edward's voice cut into my honeymoon fantasy, grinning at him as I did so.

"First visions and now sleep."

"I wasn't asleep!" His crooked smile emerged at my frustration and I found myself smiling back. At least some of the tension seemed to be fading. My own anxiety, however, came right back when I looked passed Edward's face and out the window. We weren't home. "Hey. What are we doing at Charlie's?"

Before he could answer me, the front door burst open and out ran a boy that looked like Jacob, only about five inches taller than he was when I…no…

"Is today Tuesday?" I asked, still staring in awe at the taller Jacob look alike. It couldn't be him. Humans didn't grow that fast.

"Yes, it is. I had almost forgotten myself with all the excitement about your vision. I expect the family meeting will have to wait."

"I guess." I could hear the distraction in my own voice.

"What is it, love?"

Edward sounded seriously concerned and it snapped me out of my trance. I didn't want him worrying over nothing. "It's nothing. Just…Jacob is exactly five inches taller than he was only two weeks ago."

"Puberty, I expect," Edward said mockingly, as slight smile on his face.

"Yes, obviously!" I hit his arm. "But five inches in two weeks! And he's so tall already. I didn't realize that kind of thing happened so fast."

"Your human eyes wouldn't have been able to calculate the difference so accurately. You'll get used to it as the rest of your friends start…sprouting." His smile grew wider.

"They're not weeds!"

"Though they do have their similarities – that you'll be able to easily measure their growth, for one."

"Edward!" I shoved him playfully. He was shaking, his laughter growing to outright guffaws, and I was following close behind him. The tension had been bound to erupt eventually. I was glad it hadn't happened in a fight.

A moment later Jacob made a motion, waving me over. When I turned toward Edward for my goodbye kiss, his face was a little more serious.

"You'll do what we discussed, right? Jacob's father is probably already inside. Don't forget your character, Bella."

"I won't." I waited patiently for my kiss, but though he was leaned across the car, Edward was staring through the windshield at Jacob.

"Five inches. You're sure?"

"Give or take a millimeter. It is a bit fast, isn't it?"

"It's just that…" He shook his head, as though willing the thought to fall out either of his ears. "I'm sure it's nothing. Have fun with Charlie and your friend. Try not to get any mud on that outfit."

I laughed. He kissed me politely on the nose, him being Edward. I moved in closer and stole a not so polite kiss, persisting even after he pulled back a bit, me being me. Edward got out and walked slowly around the car, opening my door. He made a show out of helping me out, and I limped along with my arm slung around him to the front door. Jacob held it open and took my bag. He and Edward exchanged a brief introduction as I crossed the threshold, and then I was directed to a comfortable chair where I was expected to remain for the remainder of the game, doing my homework, so not to further damage my weak ankle.

Though I did notice a few curious glances from Jacob's dad, he didn't particularly concerned with either my appearance or behavior. He mostly joked with me about makeup the way Charlie had, and even poked fun at my ankle, telling me I could borrow his chair whenever I wanted. Jacob put himself in charge of snacks, being the only one besides Charlie that could actually walk (and being that Charlie tended to fuse to the couch during football games). Each time Jacob stood up he seemed just a little taller, and each time he sprawled back onto the floor, he seemed to be taking up just a little more space.

"So Bells," Charlie said, during one long commercial about beer. "How's it going with that Edward kid."

"It's going great, dad. I really like him." Understatement.

"You want some of these tortilla chips? You're the only one who hasn't had any and I'm fixin' to finish 'em off pretty soon."

I waved my arm casually. "Go ahead, dad. I'm okay. I had a big lunch."

"Not much of an appetite when you come over. I mean – lately. Not much of an appetite lately."

"I'm just full from school, dad." I had to get better about suggesting foods I could easily shred or hide. I didn't want Charlie to start getting ideas about eating disorders.

"What about at your boyfriends? Do you eat much at the Cullen's place?" I sighed. Too late.

"Dad! I'm fine. I'm just not hungry because I had a big lunch. And it's not even late. I usually start getting hungry around eight or nine. Okay?"

"Sure," Charlie grumbled, fidgeting with the remote with an unsatisfied frown.

"Cullens?" Billy's voice startled me a little. He and Jacob had been focusing rather deliberately on the commercials as Charlie and I had been having our food talk. Suddenly he was looking at me with a new intensity.

"Yeah, my boyfriend's family? Edward Cullen?"

"Edward." Billy repeated the name as though getting a feel for it. "He's the big one?"

"That's his big brother, Emmett." He hadn't asked an odd question. Still, I'd felt uncomfortable answering, as though I'd just supplied information I shouldn't have.

"So Edward's the lean one. Still, he's a little old for you, isn't he?"

The irony wasn't lost on me, but I kept my face composed. "No. I'm a senior, he's a senior."

"Easy, Bells," Charlie said, a hint of laughter in his tone as he turned to Billy. "I said the same thing when she introduced me to the boy and she got all defensive then, too."

"I didn't mean to offend you Bella, I was just being cautious," Billy said. Still, his tone was a little too…something.

"It's okay. I understand."

"Well, be careful up there at their house, at least. Wouldn't want you getting hurt."

"Hurt?"

"The woods are a lot thicker up there, I mean." He said, quickly, and just a little loud. But then he lowered his voice again and gave me a meaningful look. "You know." I nodded uneasily, certain that he wasn't warning me about the woods. But that he was warning me at all meant that he hadn't realized I was part of the...well, I suppose he perceived us as a threat.

"And I've told her that too, haven't I, Bells?" With that, Charlie launched into some of the more horrific hiker cases he'd worked in the past few months, while Jacob and I watched TV and made fun of the commercials. Every now and then I snuck a glance at Billy and averted my eyes quickly when I realized he was looking back. I was grateful that I had the excuse of a sprained ankle to keep me from having to stand up and move around. Perhaps Edward's concerns weren't unfounded after all.


	23. An Occasion

**Disclaimer: **All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**An Occasion**

It felt silly that today would feel any different than any other day for me. Sure, it was a first, but compared to all the other firsts I'd experienced in the last year, it hardly measured up. I'd learned about the super natural for the first time. I'd _become _supernatural. I'd taken my first look at the world around me through vampiric eyes; I'd moved through my world at new speeds, in ways I'd never thought possible before. I'd fallen in love for the first time. _The only time_, I thought, hopefully. I'd even killed for the first time. It wasn't the highlight of my firsts, true, but surely the most important among them. In comparison with that, today was stupid. And still, I grinned when I walked into Creative Writing to find a beautiful bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates waiting on my desk. True, I couldn't enjoy the chocolates, but it was the thought that counted.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Edward said from behind me. I turned and gave him my best surprised-girlfriend smile. It was, after all, my first Valentine's Day with a real, live (well…not exactly, but still…) valentine.

"It's beautiful, Edward. You shouldn't have. And when I say that, I'm thinking more about the chocolates."

"The chocolates do seem a tad overkill. But then, that's precisely why I didn't."

It took me a moment to process what he'd said. "You didn't?"

"It looks like you have an admirer." Edward waggled his eyebrows and gave me one of his more wicked smiles. I was just about to tell him to cut it out when I heard the high pitch cry my cell phone made when it was on vibrate. I gestured to tell Edward to give me a moment, taking out my phone to read my text message.

**JAKE: **We still on for tonight?

I squinted at the phone, answering the text message aloud. "Tonight?"

"What about tonight?" Edward asked, looking concerned.

"Jacob just asked me if we were still on for tonight. Only I didn't make plans with him for Valentine's – oh no! Edward!"

"The movie. I remember, you mentioned it. Is that tonight."

"It _is _Tuesday night. That's our hangout time," I said, weakly. "Are you upset?"

"Upset? Should I be?"

"It's just…you didn't…did you have something planned?"

The wicked grin reemerged. "Nothing that can't be postponed until the hours when your human friend will be asleep."

I was grateful that the rush of heat I felt could no longer show up on my face.

"Behave, we're in school." But I smiled at him in a way that I hoped was seductive before turning my attention back to my cell phone.

**BELLZ: **Of course! Meet u at the theater, 8:30?

Immediately, my phone gave its high pitched squeal.

**JAKE: **Actually…can I pick you up from Charlie's? I kinda have a surprise.

A surprise? I briefly worried that it might have something to do with the occasion, but then pushed the thought away. It wasn't like that with Jacob. We were friends. We spent most of our hangouts in front of the TV at Charlie's collecting car parts around town. He'd invited me to the garage at La Push a few times but of course, I couldn't go.

**BELLZ: **Surprise, huh? Is it chocolate?

I surprised myself sometimes with the witty retorts I always seemed to have for Jacob. We bickered like brother and sister.

**JAKE: **Way cooler than chocolate. Besides, you already got some today. ;)

"Jacob?" I said aloud, eyeing the chocolate on my desk.

"What happened now?" Edward asked, just as Ms. Katz walked in ordering us all to take our seats. I ignored the question on purpose, letting the moment pass and focusing as much of my attention as I could manage on the lesson. Meanwhile, the better part of my brain wandered. Jacob had meant the chocolate as a friendly gesture, of course. And the wink was a surprise thing. It wasn't a flirt thing.

Was it?

The rest of the school day flew by. It didn't even seem real. Practically no one was focused on learning, with one exception among my friends – Angela, of course. She was the only person that had come over to my desk before lunch to say something school related. From everyone else I'd received a card, some sort of stuffed prize, or some gesture or other wishing me a happy holiday. Even the teachers were celebrating, walking around in reds, pinks, and blacks, some with festive broaches pinned to their sweaters. Not that I minded. Everything I saw reminded me of the exciting, yet oddly balanced relationship I was in – the eternity I had to look forward to. I wondered what it was like for people who weren't in relationships. Or worse, people who had recently been dumped.

_I hope none of them came to school today, _I thought, warily.

Edward and I spent the drive home discussing war tactics. Though it was a serious conversation, and potentially upsetting if I thought too much on it, this had become routine. At the family meeting a few weeks ago, I'd told everyone about my vision. Carlisle had immediately called an old friend, Eleazar, asking if he could stop in for a visit in the next few months. I'd thought that the Denali coven was all female and single, at first. In fact, I was a bit wary of that detail. With Edward having been the only unmated vampire in the Cullen family before I came along, and the Denali coven being the only other vegetarian family in…well…_existence_, it seemed only natural that Edward may have looked at the women of their coven at one time or another for a mate.

Another detail that made me uneasy was the fact that I hadn't met them yet. Carlisle had been in touch with them over the phone in the summertime, and they'd promised to come down for New Year's Eve. One, because it was some kind of once-every-decade tradition, but the real reason was to meet me – the newest addition to their extended vegetarian family. They'd cancelled, however, and though Edward assured me it had been nothing personal, Rosalie took care to remind me that they'd rescinded almost immediately after receiving Laurent and getting wind of Edward and my relationship. That couldn't be a coincidence, could it? And yet, the uncomfortable thoughts were easier to avoid. I didn't want to imagine what may have happened in the past to cause such an intense reaction. Did one of the Denali women…? Had Edward…?

No. Best not to think about it.

As it turned out, the Denali coven wasn't completely made up of women. There was one mated pair – Eleazar and Carmen. Carlisle had explained that Eleazar's vampiric gift was that he could detect the abilities of other vampires. Carlisle hoped that Eleazar would be able to get a read on me. Though Carlisle was convinced that my vision was real, he wasn't convinced that my power was as simple as precognition. There was still the small matter of Edward not being able to hear my thoughts. In any case, we were all hoping to get the whole thing straightened out soon.

In the meantime, the plan was still to take my vision as a warning. The most obvious plan was to make sure that Edward was never alone – that way there was no way Victoria could corner him. Alice assured us that there were other ways to prepare. My vision had taken place on a snowy mountain top, and she didn't see snow coming any time soon. Still, I wasn't about to leave Edward's safety up to something as unreliable as the weather, even if Alice _was _the most reliable meteorologist I was ever going to meet. There was a system in place for whenever Edward and I had to separate, even if the reason was silly, like tonight. Emmett was to follow not far behind with Alice, and to flank him when he left me, though not making it obvious. We didn't want to draw attention to our witness protection program, just in case we were being watched.

Charlie's cruiser wasn't in front of the house when we pulled up. Tonight was a big night for Charlie – any celebratory holiday was. People would be out on the road, coming home for late dinners and other festivities where they'd probably been drinking. Charlie wouldn't be home until late, I suspected. I would have preferred to wait in the car with Edward until Jacob arrived, but that wouldn't do for keeping up appearances. Jacob had to think that I still lived here. Instead, I kissed Edward goodbye and settled down in the living room, peering out the window only to make sure that Emmett's jeep passed the house a few minutes after Edward pulled off.

Twenty seconds and one Doritios commercial later, Jacob was knocking on the door. I was already standing up out of curiosity. The engine I'd heard wasn't the one I'd expected. I hadn't even realized it was Jacob until I heard it cut off in front of the house. The moment I opened the door, I gasped.

"Get out of here!" I yelled, slipping through the teensy gap between Jacob and the doorframe to get to the car. "You finished it?"

"Isn't she sweet?" Jacob's smile was literally ear to ear. But then, mine was too. I'd been expecting to be picked up in Jacob's dad's car – well, technically Jacob was the only one of htem capable of driving, but it wasn't his dream car. For the past couple of months I'd been helping Jacob put together a Volkswagen Rabbit. He hadn't had the money for a new one, but he was a pretty good mechanic, so we decided he should find a broken down one and restore it himself. We'd go to used car shops and junkyards looking for parts – oh, and occasionally I would magically stumble upon parts that somehow seemed to be brand new. But I'd had no idea he had finished the car. He'd even given it a fresh coat of paint!

"This is great, Jake," I said, moving around the car to tell him face to face. "Really great."

"Couldn't have done it without you, Bells." Something happened in his voice when he said my name. Something that made me take an uncomfortable step back. "I mean, you know," he said, quickly, as though sensing my discomfort, "with the parts and stuff."

"Sure." I would have to think about this carefully tonight. I had thought this was a childhood friendship I was maintaining. What if I was wrong? Did Jacob want more? "Is it fast?"

Immediately the tension vanished as Jacob began walking around the car, pointing out the additions I hadn't yet seen. Though we were both enjoying the tour, we had to get going in order to make the movie. Luckily getting into the car enabled a detailed discussion of the car's interior, keeping our friendly banter from slipping into another awkward moment.

We'd agreed on a rather gory horror movie that Jacob wasn't technically old enough to get into, so he stood by the doors while I bought the tickets at the window outside. He made a show of examining the parking sign, and when I pointed at him for the woman in the window, she didn't make a fuss. After all, he was enormous; tall _and _wide. Especially with his back turned, no one was about to argue that he wasn't seventeen.

It wasn't until the man at the door ripped our tickets that I felt the earlier tension return. Jacob reached for my hand, meaning to lead me through to the theater beside him.

I flinched.

"Sorry," he said, his hand dropping to his side, immediately accompanied by his head. He made to keep walking, but I stopped, hoping that would be enough to stop him too. It wasn't like I could touch him. When he finally turned around his eyes pleaded with me to follow, but I shook my head instead. This would go on forever if one of us didn't stop it. One of us had to be mature.

"Jacob. We need to talk about this."

He sighed, dragging his feet on the walk back to me. "We don't have to talk about it, Bella, 'kay? I just slipped."

"You slipped, Jacob? What does that mean?"

He shook his head. "It means it was an accident. I didn't mean to…" he trailed off.

"You didn't mean to try to hold my hand?"

Put so simply, it sounded pretty ridiculous. Jacob seemed to be thinking the same. He dropped the defensive body language, meeting my eyes for the first time since the incident.

"Okay, okay," he said, his voice an entire octave lower suddenly. "I did mean it. I thought if I did it right, if it was gradual, that tonight might be the night to try…" he trailed off.

"To try…?" I prompted.

"To try and show you…what's between us."

"Shit," I muttered, at a volume just below what Jacob could hear.

But Jacob reacted, his hands coming up to cover his face. "I'm sorry, Bella. I know. I know! I'm an idiot. I know you don't want to hear it – I _knew _that. That's why I thought if I showed you instead – "

"Jake, relax! Please. Everything is alright." I wasn't sure which one of us I was trying to convince. He shouldn't have heard me. How had he heard me?

"But you never curse." I felt frozen. Was it me? Had I simply underestimated how loud I'd been speaking? How many other times had I slipped this way? What other humans had heard me say things that I never, _never _intended to be heard? "Bella, you okay?" Jacob was genuinely worried, I could tell. I didn't blame him – I could imagine what the look on my face might be. Unfortunately, his worry for me overpowered his earlier embarrassment and he didn't hesitate this time. He brought his hands directly to my face, his huge palms cupping each of my cheeks.

Both of us gasped, and I was certain I knew why he had done it. To him, I must feel like ice. But Jacob's hands on my face were in no way what I'd expected. I'd only come close to touching a human before, but I'd touched animals, and they felt nothing like this. It felt like my head was sitting over an open flame. Abruptly, Jacob pulled his hands away.

"Bella I…you're freezing. Do you feel sick?"

A brief, fuzzy memory zipped through my mind at his words, it's clarity enhanced by my panic. A human memory. The utility closet. The first time I'd touched Edward's skin. I'd thought he was hypothermic. I could play along.

I exhaled. "A little, actually. I'm kind of dizzy." I squinted a little, trying to look disoriented, and kept my eyes on the ground. This kind of acting was usually easy for me, but it felt different with Jacob. Out of all my human friends, he was the only one who actually _knew _me. I waited for his response, worrying all the time. Would he know I was faking? Would he call my bluff if he did?

"Me too," he said. I jerked my head up in surprise. Jacob was squinting too, his eyes focused on the ground. His lips were pursed, and his breathing was uneven. He looked nauseous. I wondered for a moment if he would be acting too. Maybe he had only wanted some pretext under which to go to the bathroom, escaping our awkward conversation. But then there was a noise, a low, slow rumbling, and from the way Jacob swayed as it sounded, it had to be coming from inside him. He wasn't faking.

I decided to drop my act altogether. If Jacob was really sick, I could tell him I felt cold to him because he'd had a fever. His health was more important right now. I had never been around a sick human before – that is, not while I was a vampire – and was slightly appalled by the idea that I now possessed the ability to vividly hear internal bodily functions I'd barely been able to stand as a human. On the other hand, maybe it could help me determine what was wrong. Jacob was obviously in pain, and it pained me to see it. I had to help.

"Jake, what's wrong. Do you feel sick?" He nodded, curling his lips in slightly, apparently feeling too sick even to talk. "Your stomach?" Another quick nod. "But you seemed fine before. Were you feeling this way earlier?" He shook his head. "You're definitely running a fever." My excuse in the open, I could touch him now. I took his hand, leading him over to a flight of stairs so he could sit. Jacob staggered along behind me with big, clumsy steps, finally lowering himself awkwardly onto the stairs and leaning back, his long legs sprawled out in front of him. One of his hands rested against the wall as though for reassurance, while the other hovered protectively near his mouth.

_Oh, no_, I thought. He thought he was going to throw up. What would that sound like? Even worse – what would it_smell _like?

Okay, I could do this. I could be a good friend. I would call a doctor. I'd call Carlisle! And then –

Jacob's body gave a quick lurch forward and the thought went straight out of my head.

"Bathroom!" I yelled, pointing in the direction of the nearest sign. Luckily, Jacob was right with me. He stood up, ran past me and straight down the hall, nearly tripping over his own big feet. I took his place on the steps and put my head in my hands, relieved that I wouldn't have to witness what was about to happen in the bathroom.

Of course, the moment the thought occurred to me, the most awful scent I'd ever come upon began wafting down the hallway.


End file.
